Forget the Enthusiastic Rogue Tree Pruner, we’ve got a new villain on our hands, Pittsburgh!

Someone is stealing petunias in Bethel Park and one local business caught the bandit on tape.“I felt foolish about it,” he said. “I waited a couple of days and finally – yes, I called the police.”

Peters says after the third time he stopped planting, but once he put up his sign, several others in the area told him they had been victims of the petunia desperado.

The Petunia Desperado!

First the Suburban Ninjas, then the Taser Resistant Drunks, then the Enthusiastic Rogue Tree Pruner, and now, The Petunia Desperado. This really is Gotham.

We’re in luck though when it comes to this particular villain. We have a picture of the Petunia Desperado:

Someone run that up the Batsignal, would ya?


  1. PG Wodehouse
    August 12, 2011 8:01 am

    No need for Batman. Think these “super” villains are more a job for Awesome Possum.

  2. WIMom
    August 12, 2011 8:33 am

    Another great band name too, The Petunia Desperados.

  3. Lisa
    August 12, 2011 8:51 am

    I LOVE living in the Burgh! We have the BEST villains around!

  4. bluzdude
    August 12, 2011 9:22 am

    These serious times cry out for a hero, when rogue Petunia Desperados are allowed to run free, terrorizing the citizenry.

  5. bucdaddy
    August 12, 2011 9:58 am

    I suspect Porky.

  6. Tim Lesher
    August 12, 2011 10:30 am

    Clearly the work of none other than Louie the Lilac.

    Sadly, yes, he was a real villain from the 1960s Batman travesty, I mean, TV show.

    I guess all the good ideas were taken by the time he got around to beginning his life of crime.

  7. Ya Jagoff
    August 12, 2011 10:46 am

    I used to work for a funeral home. A fellow worker used to take the leftover flowers home to his wife on a weekly basis. He no longer works at the funeral home.. I think it was him.. he wants live flowers now!

  8. Pa-pop
    August 12, 2011 10:47 am

    M E D I A A D V I S O R Y

    KNOXVILLE, TN – The HGTV cable television network is preparing an announcement of the launch of a new reality-based series entitled Lawn & Garden: The Dark Side. The pilot episode will feature a pair of horticultural villains from Pittsburgh, the Petunia Desperado and the Enthusiastic Rogue Tree Pruner.

    A spokesperson for the network said, “We intend to put ‘horror’ in ‘horticulture.’”


  9. PG Wodehouse
    August 12, 2011 12:17 pm

    You can lead a horticulture but you can’t make her think.

  10. Mike
    August 12, 2011 2:01 pm

    I think instead of the pirogue guys Oliver Onion, Sauerkraut Saul, Cheese Chester – the Pirates should employ Pat Petunia, Louie Lilac and Paul Pruner.

    They sound like a good bunch of characters to run around the field.

  11. Carpetbagger
    August 12, 2011 4:24 pm

    I’m not telling the Bethel Park Police what to do but… would a rhododendron with a dye pack be such a bad idea?

  12. Kathy
    August 12, 2011 11:31 pm

    The sad part is, I drive by this every day and they have a sign…on the sign it says “Flower thief, we have your picture.” It’s been up for weeks. I laugh every time we pass it. I guess they were serious.

  13. empirechick
    August 14, 2011 12:32 am

    LOL @PG Wodehouse! As much as I love Virginia’s point of view and style, commenters like you (and bucdaddy, Butcher’s Dog, red pen mama, Angry Mongo, Cassie, et al) really make the click over here worth while!!