While the Petunia Desperado continues to lay low knowing we have a picture of her and while the Enthusiastic Rogue Tree Pruner hasn’t been heard from in ages, probably planning an epic pruning of some untidy North Shore trees, and while the ninjas remain invisible and the taser-resistant drunks are probably in a warehouse somewhere drinking Buds and tasering each other to build up their resistance, a new villain has kicked down the door to Gotham and made himself known.
[bloody murder scream!]
Police are looking for a sharp-dressed man who broke into a western Pennsylvania dollar store but who, apparently, stole only pennies.Uniontown police say surveillance video shows a man breaking into Family Dollar on North Gallatin Avenue shortly before midnight Sunday.
Police say the man can be seen kicking out the bottom of a glass door to get into the store and then going to a cash register, which was empty.Police say it appears the only thing the man stole was some pennies held in a red plastic shot glass on a cashier’s counter.
The pennies were apparently there for anyone who might need them to make exact change.
Someone tell Lukey to get Batman on the batphone.
We’re looking for a sharply dressed man who in my mind is wearing a purple pimp suit and is possibly hanging around wishing wells, because, srsly, that is the only damn place a penny is good for these days.
Be on the lookout! [swishes cape and runs off in dramatic fashion]