The Taser-Resistant Drunks ride again.

 

Police in Westmoreland County said it took two hits from a Taser to stop a man in his underwear from attacking officers. 

When they arrived, police said they found a 19-year-old man, wearing only his underwear, who appeared to be under the influence of a drug or alcohol and yelling “unintelligible statements.”

Police said when they approached the man, he positioned himself in a karate stance and then lunged at a trooper.

Can we just talk about the awesome headline?

Not so much because the man was in his underwear or that he tried karate, which in and of itself is pretty damn awesome, but because they put karate in quotation marks.

Not karate.

“Karate.”

Which is probably indicative of the difference between Bruce Lee Kung Fu and [awkward kung fu moves].

Or the difference between actress Meryl Streep and “actress” Kim Kardashian.

“Karate.”

Ladies and Gentlemen, wonder no longer. I give you … “karate.”

YouTube Preview Image

Drugs are bad.

 





16 Comments

  1. Monty
    September 6, 2011 4:02 pm

    Along those lines, doesn’t putting the quotes around “unintelligible statements” technically mean he was actually yelling the words “Unintelligible Statements!” If so, that’s awesome.

    But maybe I’m wrong. I’m no super-genious. Or are I?



  2. Rich D
    September 6, 2011 4:17 pm

    Finally! Visual representation of [awkward kung fu moves]!



  3. G-Man
    September 6, 2011 4:42 pm

    I’m still wondering why someone puts a Ninja hood over a half-mannequin. Afraid someone will recognize its face? Didn’t get a release form signed by the mannequin before filming?



  4. Dave
    September 6, 2011 4:43 pm

    I sent that video around work and one guy laughed so hard that he just left for the day because he couldn’t stop.



  5. Cassie
    September 6, 2011 5:11 pm

    Was that second guy Malkin?



  6. unsatisfied
    September 6, 2011 5:17 pm

    everybody was kung-fu fighting……



  7. CarolineFB
    September 6, 2011 6:04 pm

    “It’s what the Japanese call ‘Unagi’.” Please pardon my “Friends” reference.



  8. Kristy
    September 6, 2011 7:20 pm

    LOL.

    For real. Loved it!



  9. tw
    September 6, 2011 7:36 pm

    Omg… almost peed my pants!



  10. Jen
    September 6, 2011 10:05 pm

    I was going to chime in with the ‘UNAGI!’ line, but someone beat me to it. HA :)



  11. Lisa
    September 6, 2011 10:37 pm

    OMG you made my day – i about peed myself!!!! And ditto on the unagi!



  12. bucdaddy
    September 7, 2011 9:17 am

    Let’s start keeping score (I know, I know, it means lots of awesomeness gets left behind, but you gotta draw a line and start somewhere):

    Westmoreland County 1
    Fayette County 0
    Mercer County 0



  13. Butcher's Dog
    September 7, 2011 10:57 am

    Wait…Mercer County zero?!?! Lemme see if I can’t rustle up some drunken Amish teenagers.



  14. AngryMongo
    September 7, 2011 11:42 am

    What? No, Judy Chop?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_j1-xQA_ufE

    See, now I have to add the “Westmoreland County: Ninja Capital of the World” shirt to my site…. or… Fayette County vs. Westmoreland County Ninja Tournament…



  15. bucdaddy
    September 7, 2011 11:43 am

    BDog,

    Get on it! Second place is the first loser.



  16. Butcher's Dog
    September 8, 2011 10:30 am

    OK, I got one. KDKA reported five young Amish men, presumed drunk, sexually accosted three young girls aged 12 and 13 outside a horse auction. Yeah, it happened in New Wilmington, which is in Lawrence County, but that’s about a Ronnie Cedeno overthrow from Mercer County. I’m counting it as ours.