- September 7, 2011
- filed under City Council, David Conrad, Downtown happenings, Famous Burghers, Hot Burghers, Ken Rice, Make Room for Kids, Penguins, Sidney Crosby
1. Today, despite having not heard the song since it was popular mumble years ago, I got Cher’s “Just Like Jesse James” stuck in my head.
That’s messed up shit, as earworms go. I’d rather have Air Supply stuck in there.
Shit. Now I have Air Supply stuck in there.
2. My fourth self-united husband Joe Manganiello is in town this week as he visits his alma mater Mt. Lebanon High School to accept an award and also hosts a fundraiser for SICK KIDS. He spent some time yesterday visiting kids on the 9th floor of Children’s Hospital, the Oncology and “Frequent Fliers” floor, which you remember we outfitted this spring with gaming thanks to Make Room for Kids.
See. I don’t just pick hot self-united husbands. I pick kindred spirits. Bosom friends. Good neighbors.
3. I’m attending the showing of Wicked Thursday night with my sister Princess Aurora of Wexfordhampsminstershire and I am dying to find out what all the fuss is about this show. My mother has been going on about it forever, it seems. Almost all of the shows are sold out, but that doesn’t mean you can’t snag a ticket now that the Cultural Trust has announced a $25 ticket lottery for Orchestra seats!
A day-of-performance lottery for a limited number of orchestra seats will be held daily for WICKED, which will be performing from Wednesday, September 7 through Sunday, October 2, at the Benedum Center. Each day, 2½ hours prior to show time people who present themselves at the Theater Square Box Office, 655 Penn Avenue, downtown Pittsburgh will have their names placed in a lottery drum and then thirty minutes later, names will be drawn for a limited number of orchestra seats at $25 each, cash only. This lottery is available only in-person at the box office, with a limit of two tickets per person.
Awesome and worth the shot.
4. The Sidney Crosby presser was exactly what we thought it would be. Sid feels better, up to 80-90%, but still no timetable for his return.
However, the good news is that his doctors are optimistic he will have a long career.
All we know for sure right now is this: Sid is in town and he is still super adorable.
Also, Sid’s doctor called Sid a Ferrari.
Should I be worried my doctor calls me a Winnebago?
I’ve never been to Mr. Smalls. Does that make me a bad Burgher?
6. One of the prizes for the Rachel Carson Homestead Raffle is pretty freaking awesome and involves my charter self-united husband:
City councilman Bill Peduto and actor David Conrad have agreed to donate their time as an amazing prize package in the Community Experiences Raffle. The two have agreed to team up on September 24th, 2011, at 1:00pm and act as personal chefs for one lucky winner and 10 of their closest friends. They will barbecue and socialize at the Homestead (food and beer provided by RCHA).
7. Pittsburgh police are working hard to eradicate drug dealers from downtown via Operation: Stink Bug.
Man, I have said this before and I will say it again now. I would REALLY like to be the person who gets to name operations.
Operation: Hellfire Scourge Death Bomb
Operation: Incontinent Tarantula
Operation: Oozing Orifice
Operation: Son of McBeam
How awesome would it be to hear Ken Rice be all, “Pittsburgh police rounded up 23 suspected downtown drug dealers today via Operation: Teat of Goat …”
8. The Seattle Seahawks cut Jeff Skippy Skeeve Foul Dwarf Reed who they signed after he was released by the team that wears the gold pants. I’m not good with names.
The proximate cause of Reed’s dismissal was the fact that only three of his five kickoffs in the Seahawks’ preseason finale on Friday made it to the end zone. At 32, he’s getting on in years, especially considering that he’s lived many of those years to a remarkable degree of excess.
“Remarkable degree of excess.”
I like that. It makes all the drinking and whoring he did sound so refined.
I’m going to steal that.
- “But officer! I wasn’t stalking Jeff Jimmerson; I was just observing him with a remarkable degree of excess.”
- “I didn’t inhale a jar of Nutella; I simply partook of it to a remarkable degree of excess.”
- “I didn’t murder the pigeon; I simply tased it to a remarkable degree of excess.”
- “The Pirates are sucking to a remarkable degree of excess lately.”
9. Remarkable Degree of Excess would make a good band name.
So would Teat of Goat.