Beer for my coffee mug

A man, not from Fayette County surprisingly, was charged with drunk lawn mower driving as he scooted down the middle of a road in Beaver County with a coffee mug full of beer.

First, now I don’t feel so bad about those times I’ve sipped wine from a coffee cup. Shut up.

Second:

“I’m drunk. Just take me home.”

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!

It’s like he’s never seen the shirts.

If you’re not going to support the stereotypes, then why have stereotypes at all?!

Next thing, we’ll find out he’s not even taser-resistant. THEN WHERE’S OUR GOD?!





12 Comments

  1. bucdaddy
    September 19, 2011 11:28 am

    Mercer 2
    Fayette 1
    Beaver 1
    Westmoreland 0 (pending, see below)

    Dear That’s Churchians:

    I was right about the slaying in Westmoreland over the weekend, but we need some clarity on whether this is strange enough to qualify for the standings. And remember, we must maintain high standings standards that stand the test of time.

    Here you go. What say ye?:

    The man shot to death inside a North Huntingdon townhouse had been charged last week with threatening the woman who lived there, Westmoreland County District Attorney John Peck said Sunday.

    Peck identified the shooting victim as Thomas E. Weber Jr., 43, of Cherokee Drive, Greensburg. Weber entered the home of Kathryn Scalzitti in the 9000 block of Hill Drive at 2:36 a.m. Saturday, Peck said.

    Peck said another man in the residence, Raymond Costa, 51, told police that Weber came up a staircase toward Scalzitti’s bedroom. Costa said Weber was carrying a piece of metal pipe.

    Costa told police he fired at Weber’s lower body as he approached the bedroom. Weber continued into the bedroom and struck Costa on the left forearm with the pipe.

    Costa fired additional shots, Peck said. Weber was found lying on the bedroom floor, where he appeared to be gripping a metal pipe.

    He was pronounced dead at the scene.



  2. A commenter
    September 19, 2011 1:02 pm

    This story isn’t even a true record of the events that happened so screw you for postng it on here.



  3. Butcher's Dog
    September 19, 2011 1:07 pm

    Not sure if A commenter was referring to bucdaddy or Ginny. Whatev. If there’s nothing to corroborate his contention, bucdaddy’s story stands and I’ll cast my vote for scoring one for Westmoreland.

    Got another candidate for Mercer County, too. Last Friday night a high school football game between two county schools (not to be identified here) was stopped when a massive fight broke out on the field. I kinda like my chances of that moving our score to 3 up here, but I’ll let it up to bucdaddy (aka the official scorer) to decide.



  4. bucdaddy
    September 19, 2011 1:35 pm

    What triggered the fight, at what point in the game and what was the score?

    The thing in Westmoreland’s favor is that the guy got shot at once and kept coming with his pipe. Pipe vs. gun is like those “vehicle vs. pedestrian” accidents I hear about on the scanner. It’s pretty much a foregone conclusion who’s going to win.



  5. Butcher's Dog
    September 19, 2011 2:26 pm

    I don’t know any fight details, except the officials called the game at that point. It was sometime in the second half, I guess. Visitors were from a lower socio-economic school while the hosts were one of the two in the county that pass for affluent, at least by our diminished standards. Pipe vs. gun definitely qualifies.



  6. bucdaddy
    September 20, 2011 12:48 am

    Ruling goes against Mercer football fight. Westmoreland killing approved.

    Adjusted standings:

    Mercer 2
    Fayette 1
    Beaver 1
    Westmoreland 1

    Who’s next, Bert?

    Your honor, case No. 3 on the docket: 800-pound stuffed bear stolen from bar in Uniontown, Fayette County, facilitated by nitwits who left the bear outside the bar for the night after five guys ALREADY tried to steal it once. All parties in the matter step forward. Witnesses have been sworn in.

    Thanks, Bert. What say you, That’s Churchills?



  7. Butcher's Dog
    September 20, 2011 12:49 pm

    @bucdaddy: I think FayetteNam gets one for the stolen bear. I’m sad about the football fight being turned down, since it even made the KDKA 5 o’clock news yesterday.

    Here’s my nomination for today: at the County Extension 4-H affair earlier, 11 market rabbits sold for an AVERAGE of $35 per pound. The Grand Champion rabbit went for $115 per pound. A Reserve Champion went to a local pizza chain (I won’t name them, but their pizzas are rectangular) for over $25 per pound.

    Rabbit. I couldn’t possibly make this up.



  8. bucdaddy
    September 20, 2011 1:59 pm

    Denied.

    People with money (at least by my observation here) routinely overpay for beef on the hoof etc. at 4-H sales. It’s a way to make a donation to the 4-H program while encouraging the kids who participate AND getting a little something back (tasty animals) in the bargain.



  9. Butcher's Dog
    September 20, 2011 2:39 pm

    @bucdaddy: Yeah, but a pizza chain buying rabbit? That’s gotta slow you down some, I’m guessin?



  10. bucdaddy
    September 21, 2011 10:22 am

    Appeal considered and denied.

    Stolen bear approved.

    Mercer 2
    Fayette 2
    Westmoreland 1
    Beaver 1



  11. Butcher's Dog
    September 21, 2011 10:32 am

    @bucdaddy: If you want to expand the area a bit, a guy from Somerset was caught cooking a cow he’d illegally killed. And a guy from Little Washington was picked up DUI twice in the same night by the same trooper, the second time after he’d been released to the custody of a “responsible party”. Fairness is everything, since we’re not in Congress or anything.



  12. bucdaddy
    September 21, 2011 10:50 am

    You mean the entire cow? Not steaks? Not burgers? The whole cow? All at once?

    Wow … if you say “Yes,” Somerset scores.

    Washington guy is rejected unless he was on a lawn tractor both times.