You know how much I suck at ice skating on account of, you know, my inner ear problem and by inner ear problem I mean I look like a drunk giraffe walking across a field of bowling balls.
This makes me sad because Mario Lemieux is about to make a whole bunch of hockey geeks’ dreams come freaking true! This from an email I received today from his foundation:
The Mario Lemieux Foundation announced today that NHL great and Pittsburgh Penguins owner Mario Lemieux will hold a fantasy hockey camp on January 4-8, 2012, benefiting the Foundation. “I am excited about the prospect of this camp,” said Lemieux. “Not only will this give adults the chance to have an NHL experience, but it will also help raise needed funds for my Foundation’s important cancer projects.”
Participants in the Mario Lemieux Fantasy Hockey Camp will have a truly unique and exclusive team experience of skating with not only Lemieux, but also legends such as Mark Recchi, Mike Eruzione, Gary Roberts, Billy Guerin, Bryan Trottier and Rick Tocchet all serving as team captains. Participants will receive top of the line hockey gear, equipment and NHL-level hockey instruction, take part in a round-robin tournament, and attend two Pittsburgh Penguins home games at CONSOL Energy Center. All proceeds will benefit the Lemieux Foundation. For more information, log on to www.mariolemieux.org.
1. GARY ROBERTS. You could spend an hour entertaining him with Gary Roberts as Chuck Norris jokes! “Gary Roberts can slam a revolving door. Gary Roberts clapped with one hand. And heard it.”
2. MARIO. You would share ice with Mario and you wouldn’t have to kidnap him to do it. Not that I would ever dream of doing that. Ahem. Where were we?
3. It’s probably best that I don’t know how to ice skate because there is a billion percent chance I was getting asked to leave anyway for all the sports-butt-slapping I was doing.