Because you can’t talk about unicorns without talking about glitter.
When I saw this shirt on my facebook wall as placed there by the awesome folks at BelieveMerch, I loved the design but didn’t get the reference because I’m sometimes very clueless about pop culture references.
So I took to Google and entered in “Pittsburgh Unicorns” wondering if there might be some obscure semi-pro team in the city called the Pittsburgh Unicorns. Lacrosse maybe? Calvinball?
Instead Google led me to this old page on the Pitt server last updated in 2006 and probably a student project: Pittsburgh Unicorn Rides of Ford City, PA. I just had to share my Internet find with you.
Of course the header image of the blog is glittertastic, because again, you can’t talk about unicorns without talking about glitter. Just like you can’t talk about the Dread Lord Zober without talking about shrieking succubi.
- Although unicorn blood is fabled to have mystical healing powers, Pittsbugrh (sic) Unicorn Rides is a cruelty-free unicorn ranch. Our unicorns are not only free-range, but they have the best unicorn veterinarian in the world, Jonas Shoecsdaburg, on call 24/7.
- When Hilary was younger, she thought that unicorns were just mythical animals. Something fake, like evolution. But now, in her ripe old age of nineteen, she realizes that unicorns are real. As an avid fan of the band the Unicorns, a wearer of unicorn charm bracelets, and the co-owner of the Pittsburgh Unicorn riding company, Hilary lives, breathes, and does not eat unicorns.
- We aim to to eliminate discrimination against “mythical” creatures. Just because unicorns have a horn does not make them any less of an animal, just like the way that you still choose to wear a fannypack after 1993 does not make you any less of a person.
- Here’s our friend, Mat, with one of our most popular and majestic unicorns, Flufferkins.
- The feedback page includes testimonials from Bill Cowher, Macauley Culkin, and a zombie.
I hope they got an A just for the fannypack line alone.
Also, if I had a unicorn, I would name it Snuffleberrylumpkins. Or Bob.