That's Church

A look inside my brain as I read this article about a suspicious package that was detonated downtown today.

A suspicious package…

Brain: “Why isn’t Suspicious Package a band name yet?”

… was blown up Wednesday morning in downtown Pittsburgh.

Brain: Please let it be ravioli. Please let it be ravioli. Please let it be ravioli.

“Once we arrived on scene we x-rayed the suitcase, determined we had a lot of circuitry and wires in the package. We decided to disrupt the package.

Brain: Disrupt? They call it “disrupting” when they blow something up? Can I suggest a better word?

“KABLOOEY!”

“We decided to KABLOOEY! the package” sounds much truer than “disrupt” which sounds like you walked up to the package all, “Ahem. Excuse me. I hate to break the ravioli party up–”

Once we disrupted …

Brain: You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.

… the package, we determined it was safe of any explosives and the contents of the package happened to be a bunch of electronic equipment such as laptops, DVDs…

Brain: Oh, man. Somebody is going to be pissed when he learns his laptops and DVDs were disrupted in KABLOOEY fashion.

…and VCR players.”

Brain: [falls down laughing] Hide yo’ 8-Tracks, hide yo’ record players, hide yo’ walkmans.

They disruptin’ errybody up in here.