suspicious package

A look inside my brain as I read this article about a suspicious package that was detonated downtown today.

A suspicious package…

Brain: “Why isn’t Suspicious Package a band name yet?”

… was blown up Wednesday morning in downtown Pittsburgh.

Brain: Please let it be ravioli. Please let it be ravioli. Please let it be ravioli.

“Once we arrived on scene we x-rayed the suitcase, determined we had a lot of circuitry and wires in the package. We decided to disrupt the package.

Brain: Disrupt? They call it “disrupting” when they blow something up? Can I suggest a better word?


“We decided to KABLOOEY! the package” sounds much truer than “disrupt” which sounds like you walked up to the package all, “Ahem. Excuse me. I hate to break the ravioli party up–”

Once we disrupted …

Brain: You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.

… the package, we determined it was safe of any explosives and the contents of the package happened to be a bunch of electronic equipment such as laptops, DVDs…

Brain: Oh, man. Somebody is going to be pissed when he learns his laptops and DVDs were disrupted in KABLOOEY fashion.

…and VCR players.”

Brain: [falls down laughing] Hide yo’ 8-Tracks, hide yo’ record players, hide yo’ walkmans.

They disruptin’ errybody up in here.


  1. bluzdude
    October 5, 2011 1:32 pm

    Brain: “I’ve got a suspicious package for you right here, huff huff huff…”

  2. RJQ
    October 5, 2011 1:40 pm

    I love the Antione Dodson references in these recent posts!

  3. Dan (Not Onorato)
    October 5, 2011 1:40 pm

    Suspicious Package Disruption would be a cool band name…

  4. Butcher's Dog
    October 5, 2011 2:18 pm

    Abuse of the language in this way is why there’ll always be a need for English teachers, says the retired English teacher. As always, just sayin’.

  5. Cnik
    October 5, 2011 2:29 pm

    We temporarily disrupt this disruption to let you know that no food or food preparation product was disrupted in this disruption…

  6. Aileen
    October 5, 2011 3:28 pm

    Do you think that Jeff Reed uses that line, “want to see my suspicious package?”

  7. Chrissy
    October 5, 2011 4:23 pm

    i love you for making a princess bride reference in this.

  8. USCMike
    October 5, 2011 9:21 pm

    I don’t think these guys blew enough stuff up as kids…and now they’re making up for it! ;^)

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