WUT?!

There’s “What?” like “What day is this? Monday or Purple?”

There’s “WHAT?” like, “Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom?” “WHAT?”

There’s “WHAT!?” like “Here’s a Plus-Sized Sexy Anorexia costume. Wait. WHAT?!” (h/t @addiful on Twitter)

And there’s “WUT?!” as in “Somebody stole a bridge. WUT?!”

I will first preface this by saying … NOT FAYETTE COUNTY! WUT?!

State police in New Castle are investigating the theft of an old steel bridge in a wooded area near the Pennsylvania Turnpike in North Beaver Township.

The bridge was 50-feet long and 20-feet wide and spanned a small creek which flows into the Mahoning River.

Someone stole a STEEL bridge. It wasn’t even a tiny wood bridge that couldn’t bear the weight of a stinkbug family. A STEEL BRIDGE. This is what it looked like:

coverts crossing

(found via @adriennemcc on twitter)

I know what you’re thinking:  WUT?!

But I think I know what happened. There are only two real possibilities here:

1.

 2.

 

 

I’m going with number 2. The bridge is still there. We just can’t SEE IT on account of all the smoke and mirrors.

You gotta watch the KDKA video for Ken Rice’s dramatic pause before “an entire bridge” and then Ralph Iannotti’s face when he’s first on screen looking all, “SOMEONE STOLE  A FREAKING BRIDGE. WUT?!”

 





20 Comments

  1. John Q. Public
    October 7, 2011 1:20 pm

    My pants are rather tight today



  2. Stephen
    October 7, 2011 1:25 pm

    This is the sort of shit that goes down once Batman leaves.



  3. mindymin
    October 7, 2011 1:31 pm

    Could you imagine being the guy at the scrap metal place? Some random folks show up with trucks full of bridge supports.

    And how did NO ONE notice a bunch of ppl stealing a bridge? I know its the sticks & all but c’mon.

    I dunno – if you have the balls to disassemble a bridge that big in front of god & everybody you deserve the money from it.



  4. burghbaby
    October 7, 2011 1:32 pm

    Has anyone checked Casey Hampton’s belly button yet?



  5. Christina
    October 7, 2011 1:43 pm

    This started to make my day when I first read the headline and thought … yes exactly … WUT????

    This post of course makes it even better – in tears laughing.

    I think … stealing a whole steel bridge is a damn cool thing to do. And such a pretty one. Can somebody get me one, too? Pluuueeeeaaase???



  6. mcb1219
    October 7, 2011 1:46 pm

    Gez. Glad you prefaced it because you’d have thought that came straight from the “only in Fayette County” files. I wonder what the “after” pic looks like. (and btw- slutty anorexia? Really??? Who comes up with this crap?)



  7. Jake
    October 7, 2011 2:30 pm

    Lawrence is basically the Fayette of the north – make no mistake. I love the ending on the article though: “Gene Frank, who lives nearby, says it doesn’t surprise him because thieves will do anything for money.”

    And cut. That’s a good closing remark, right?



  8. jmarinara
    October 7, 2011 2:44 pm

    “Gene Frank, who lives nearby, says it doesn’t surprise him because thieves will do anything for money.”

    ROFL



  9. addiful
    October 7, 2011 3:02 pm

    It had to be Copperfield. His ick factor alone is big enough to hide a bridge.



  10. Monty
    October 7, 2011 3:03 pm

    I am offended by Copperfield’s half-assed tribute to Ronnie James Dio in that picture.



  11. DaleyT
    October 7, 2011 4:44 pm

    I don’t think the picture above is the bridge in question. The linked article says “The bridge was made of corrugated steel with a steel web deck and steel I-beam supports.”

    Picture above is a truss that looks to be a lot longer than 50′.



  12. Butcher's Dog
    October 7, 2011 7:04 pm

    Slutty Anorexics has to be the band name of the weekend. Just sayin’.



  13. tokenintexas
    October 7, 2011 7:35 pm

    something got stolen in new castle, aka the hellmouth?!? i’m shocked, shocked i tell you.



  14. bucdaddy
    October 8, 2011 1:53 am

    I don’t think anyone will argue: That counts as three for Lawrence County.

    Lawrence County 3
    Mercer 2
    Fayette 2
    Beaver 1
    Westmoreland 1



  15. Butcher's Dog
    October 9, 2011 10:07 am

    Wait! Mercer should have 3! Girl smoking under bed, sexual assault at horse auction, and jewel thief calling for reward in helping catch, um, himself. All much more specific than “something got stolen”.



  16. Angela
    October 9, 2011 4:56 pm

    Lol, I actually wore that “slutty anorexia” costume a couple years ago and LOVED it. The only think “anorexia” about it is the ruler choker/belt (which I didn’t wear–I just liked the dress). Other than that, it was a REALLY cute skeleton costume… Haha… But anyone who would wear it as an ACTUAL Sexy/Slutty Ana Rexis costume is nuts.



  17. bucdaddy
    October 10, 2011 1:01 am

    Adds 1 for Mercer for whichever ridiculosity I overlooked. Docks Mercer 1 for excessive lobbying.

    Lawrence 3
    Mercer 2
    Fayette 2
    Westmoreland 1
    Beaver 1



  18. AngryMongo
    October 10, 2011 10:43 am

    This just in… Someone has stolen David Copperfield.

    Gene Frank still isn’t surprised.



  19. dillonerd
    October 11, 2011 9:22 am

    Yeah…that is not the bridge.



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