- October 11, 2011
- filed under Ben Roethlisberger, Make Room for Kids, Mike Tomlin, Penguins, Sidney Crosby, Steelers, Troy Polamalu, Wendy Bell
1. One of my tasks as a restaurant widow is that despite being the parent with the lesser math skills, I am the one who has to help my third-grader with his math homework each night.
I’m not going to lie. Third grade math trips me up sometimes. I mean, seriously, what the hell even are compatible numbers? I shouldn’t have to use Google to help a third-grader with a math worksheet!
Then last night this was a question:
“Becky says that 65+28 equals 83. Is Becky’s answer reasonable?”
I don’t know, but I tell you this, Becky’s answer is WRONG.
We put that her answer was unreasonable. I really hope that’s the right answer. If his teacher says it’s the wrong answer, I’m going to send her an email all, “BUT IS IT A REASONABLE ANSWER?!”
Stupid third-grade math making me bitchy with the teacher.
2. Owl-O-Ween at the National Aviary is happening on October 22. Sounds spooooooky.
Also, number of times I have moaned “spooooooky” to my kids since October 1: 922
Also also, here’s an owl flying in slow-motion toward a camera. It wants to eat your soul.
Nature is spoooooooooky.
(h/t my Dad)
3. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! A spoof of the Family Matters theme only it is called Steeler Matters!
I loved everything until :47 in when I screamed, “SON OF A BITCH!” I had forgotten how stabby it made me when Lukey did that.
But then I got to 1:05 and I fell down laughing.
Also, if you don’t spend the rest of the day with that song stuck in your head, you’re stronger than me.
I guess it could be worse. I could have the Full House song stuck in my head.
4. There is now an officially licensed Terrible Towel skirt made from actual Terrible Towels. For only FIFTY DOLLARS!!!!!11111
I am speechless.
Now, this is not my cup of tea, but it is fine if it is your cup of tea.
I will say this. This is some serious ammunition for GQ to put us up from the #3 worst-dressed city next year. Movin’ on up!
5. I can’t yet share with you my sister Tina Fey’s childrearing blog because she will kill me but, OMG HILARIOUS SHIT! She is pretty much ruled by her two-year-old hellion who I love more than cookie dough.
She did start a second blog to document a recent hideous haircut and her attempt to grow it out with some pill she’s taking that might give her a beard, hoping to make it look good within a year’s time. I think her hair looks adorable. She wants to shave her head. Whatevs.
Also, the reason I can share the blog with you is because I DIDN’T BOTHER TO ASK HER IF I COULD. See, I learned my lesson. Don’t ask permission. Ask forgiveness and hide the pointy things.
Get them before they are gone. We are going to have so much fun and eat so much food and drink Zombitinis and play games and walk the ScareHouse if we’re brave and we’re doing it for SICK KIDS!
If you’re scared, you can either not walk the ScareHouse and just enjoy the fun, or you can ask me to walk through with you and I will hold your hand and tell you when to brace yourself and cover your BRAINZZZZZ.
7. I have a new post up at the magazine, this one about a local company that created an iPad app that allows you to make your own jewelry with an easy drag and drop interface.
Also, I love how the editor Sean Conboy finds the most hilarious videos to include with my posts. Emeril Lagasse makes me giggle.
8. IT’S A HOCKEY NIGHT IN PITTSBURGH!
9. Finally, whatever happened to predictability?