- October 13, 2011
- filed under Mike Tomlin, Penguins, Sidney Crosby, Steelers, Troy Polamalu, Wendy Bell
My life is busy lately and today I got to spend the day at the restaurant hunting down receipts from December of 2010 for the insurance company because we are STILL not out of the insurance phase of that pesky jerkface fire that I’ve now named Satan Beelzebub Fiery Evil Devil de Damien the Antichrist.
It rings. But its business card is HUGE.
This is like Random n’at, but quicker. Snappy. Here we go!
1. Mike Tomlin hung up on some reporters and rightly so because they clearly don’t know how to let go of the past, writes the girl who still retches when she hears the name Sid Bream.
2. Sid has been cleared for contact. Hossana in the highest, n’at! I hope they make him wear a giant Styrofoam helmet during practices. Also, from now on, two shots for every time Sid, a Pens rep, or Sid’s doctor says, “there is no timetable for his return.”
3. Troysus is the nicest NFL player, officially. I wonder if anyone thought they were voting for “Best Hair” or “Prayiest.”
4. The Pittsburgh Power still exist as do their dance team The Sparks. If you want to be a Spark, bust out your athletic bra. No. Really. That is the recommended attire for auditioning. Men, there is nothing that says only women can try out. You know what to do. Send me video.
5. This story is a billion times funnier when you replace crows with cows, as my brain did during the first read-through. “[BOOOOOOM!] MOO?!!?!???”
6. School children created life-sized artwork of WTAE anchors.
7. The paparazzi continue to stalk Suri Cruise through the Burgh, because they are giant jerkfaces.
8. Man poses as monster to propose to girlfriend in the ScareHouse. SPOOOOOOOKY.
9. Primanti’s is a finalist for Men’s Health‘s Manliest Restaurant contest. MEAT. FRIES. CABBAGE. BREAD. AROOOOOO! It’s all fun and testosterone until the major heart event.
10. Squirrel and goat heads found in an illegal slaughterhouse. Dear God, please don’t let this guy own a Chinese restaurant. Also, is it considered a “slaughterhouse” when you’re just killing pigeons? I’m asking for a friend.
Okay, you go read all that stuff stuff stuff while I work on a post about Quidam’s Pittsburgh connection, the alligator in the Beaver Run Reservoir, and then I’m probably going to bug you a bit about getting your Crazy Scary ticket!
You’ve been warned.