1. Oh! And, and, AND! I forgot to tell you this. Last night I had Scarehouse nightmares and at one point I was walking through the Scarehouse alone and there was suddenly this horrible loud noise and I woke up PUNCHING THE AIR.
My husband looked at me like I had lost my mind. I asked him to say Vapor Rub for me.
I may never sleep again.
2. You’ve probably seen this already, but for those of you who haven’t, the new Head n’ Shoulders commercial featuring not only Troysus, but Brett and Hines as well!
I want my hair to wave around like that.
And here’s Hines teaching Troysus and Brett how to dance, because WE WILL NEVER BE FREE FROM DANCING WITH THE STARS.
3. Someone on twitter (@secretninjamom) tweeted to Scott Harbaugh that she was pretty sure it was snowing in Oakland, to which he said at 44 degrees, that’s not likely. She then said that it was clear and had a shape and if that’s not snow, what is it.
Guess what? IT HAS A NAME:
Are you kidding me? It’s not enough that we have snow, sleet, hail, and freezing fog, which I’m still pretty sure is a totally made up thing, but now we have a totally real thing that sounds like a made up thing. GRAUPEL. It sounds like the cousin of the R.O.U.S. The Graupel. EEK!
All I know is that it is October 20. The precipitation should not even be SLIGHTLY frozen.
4. Target Office Products is donating a pencil and sketchbook to The Education Partnership, the storehouse where teachers can shop for free, for every single person that likes the Education Partnership page on Facebook. One easy click to help Pittsburgh’s teachers and students out!
5. Chevrolet is on the road and the road starts in Bridgeville. Very cool.
6. William Dietrich is a retired steel executive who died recently and just prior to his death and now following his death at 73 on October 3, he is unloading a massive amount of wealth onto Pittsburgh’s charities:
- Pitt: $125 million
- CMU: $265 million
- Pittsburgh Foundation: $18.1 million
- Duquesne University: $12.5 million
- Chatham University: $5 million
- Cultural Trust: $5 million
- Carnegie Museums: $5 million
- Boy Scouts: $5 million
All told? $440.6 million donated so far.
I can’t even. Wow.
7. Yesterday I told you that you probably shouldn’t tell the local news crew that you left your son in a Taco Bell parking lot and told him to go find a new family. Today, I’d like to tell you that you probably shouldn’t tell a news crew that you couldn’t have committed the crime you are being arrested for because you were “back at the crib, chillin’, smoking some weed.” What the hell is wrong with people?
Also, Ari Hait. Still a peanut. Love that guy.
8. Actual news headlines about the animal carnage in Ohio:
- “Zanesville 911 calls: “Just heard a lion roar in the woods”
- “It’s like Noah’s Ark wrecking right here in Ohio”
- “Lone monkey with Hepatitis on the loose”
- “Zanesville animal escape: Which one is most terrifying?”
- “Ohio town under siege as animals take control” (not making that up)
- “Buckeye State is longtime leader in breakaway beasts”
- “Too much monkey business”
- “The ultimate *#&$ you?” (God bless Australia)
- “Stay out of the woods in Eastern Ohio”
- “Hide yo kids!!”
- “Lions, Tigers, and Bears, OHIO!” (srsly)
- “Things are getting biblical in Ohio”
9. I’m already nervous about the Patriots and we don’t even play them for another week. I’m lathering up all my hate and I plan to unleash it with epicness on my Tom Brady voodoo doll. BALLS ON A STICK, PEOPLE.