Thwarted!

(Image from WTAE)

A local man went into an eatery in Ross Township, ordered a Reuben, received the sandwich without paying and then ran to a stolen forklift, max speed of maybe 15 mph — his getaway vehicle of choice.

No, I didn’t just make shit up.

On Sunday, 38-year-old Sean Faulkner walked into Sieb’s Pub, ordered a Reuben sandwich, and then ran out without paying. He jumped into the forklift he had pilfered from a construction site earlier that day.

Authorities said Faulker was still in the forklift in the parking lot when officers arrived. His escape was reportedly thwarted because he could not put the forklift in reverse.

Really? I would say his escape was thwarted by the fact that he CHOSE A FORKLIFT AS HIS ESCAPE VEHICLE.

My God. I bet he’d steal a hamburger at the zoo and then hop on a giant turtle all, “Giddy up! Hup! Hee-yah! Go!  [smacks boot heels on the shell] Bang Bang? Anyone have a whip?”

Also, if you think he’s the first doofus to ever attempt a getaway on a forklift:

YouTube Preview Image

The best parts are the hysterical laughter and the dude in the beginning who looks like he’s casually strolling FASTER than the chase.

God bless America.





7 Comments

  1. Butcher's Dog
    November 1, 2011 2:47 pm

    I counted five cop cars in the “chase” by the end of the video. I’m thinking the fork lift could beer-can crush one or two, but probably the fifth one was racking up unnecessary charges for the Ft. Worth police force. Maybe the fourth and fifth ones. Where oh where are the government watchdogs when they’re needed most?



  2. Jim W.
    November 1, 2011 3:03 pm

    Sieb’s DOES have a good reuben.



  3. spoon
    November 1, 2011 3:21 pm

    When I lived in the north hills I had a neighbor that stole a Back-hoe from a construction site and used it to buy groceries at the local Kuhns. He would put the groceries in the basket and drive it back.



  4. Margaret
    November 1, 2011 3:29 pm

    If there were a “Like” button, I’d “Like” comment #3 from spoon :)

    And, by the way, that “dude” laughing hysterically? That’s a lady, man (strains of Aerosmith trailing off into the distance….).



  5. spoon
    November 1, 2011 3:44 pm

    I have video of him driving it that I’ll have to look for. Dude was drunk all the time so we’d find random things in his yard that he’d steal



  6. Heather
    November 2, 2011 8:36 am

    The sign outside of Sieb’s now reads, “food worth going to jail for.” I smile every time I drive by it.