My parents took a trip to Aruba (jerks) and for the first time ever they had internet access on one of their little excursions out of the country. And it was a real treat.
This was the third dispatch:
Hi Girls, Well here we are day three of Aruba. Dad and I are having the most amazing time. We have met people from all over the world. We ate breakfast at a place called Salt and Pepper, where we have met the neatest lady. Her name is Audrey. She has lived here 33 years. She is known all over the island. She has taken a liking to Dad and I. Tomorrow we are meeting her for breakfast then we are off to her home to see it and have lunch. I asked the people at Salt and Pepper about her and they said she is one of the neatest people on the island, and by all means go spend the day with her. So tomorrow should be very interesting. Today we spend the whole day at the beach. It is an amazing beach.
Stacey hope you are feeling a little better today? Just remember a C is OK. Don’t make yourself crazy. We love you. C or A… Put it into perspective.
Hope all is well with everyone else. Send us an email. We love you all and miss you. BUT WE ARE HAVING AN AMAZING TIME….
Love to all, Mom and Dad.
I have no idea about the Stacey thing. Apparently my oldest sister Ta-Ta, who returned to school for a tax accounting degree, might have gotten a C on something and if you knew Stacey, you would know that … ARMAGEDDON. I don’t think she’s ever even gotten even a B in her life. My mother used to hide teen-year’s Stacey’s schoolbooks from her to force her to relax.
From Tina Fey, nicknamed Mort:
Are you two dying? Planning to hurl yourselves into the ocean or something? You’ve never blogged from your vacations before and you’re starting to worry me.
Have fun and don’t let strange island women hurt you.
I chimed in:
Amen. This sounds like the beginning of a CSI: Miami episode. Stay safe!
Also, did Stacey get a C or something? Are we sure she hasn’t flung herself from a Virginia bridge?
C’s are good too, is what my mantra was in high school.
Mom and Dad:
We are not planning on dying. We have never had internet access before. We love being able to tell you about our days. We asked about the local woman and we were told to be honored to be asked to her home. We will be fine. Aruba is the most beautiful spot on the planet. We are having an amazing time. Will email tomorrow about our wonderful time with Audrey. We can’t wait to see her home….
Love you guys. Talk to you later, Mom
Did you ever think maybe the locals are in on the plot to rid Aruba of tourists? Take a shiv just in case.
Princess Aurora of Wexfordhampsminstershire:
I’m saving these emails in case the investigator needs them. You better send us her last name.
Don’t take a lot of money with you.
Mom and Dad:
You guys are killing me. Audrey is one of the most unique people we have ever met. She is just a sweet old lady who loves people. We will email you when we get back. Not all people are crazy. Her home is amazing. She gave us several of her business cards. The people at the Salt and Pepper love her. I am sure we will too. Quit worrying.
Stacey quit stressing IT WILL ALL BE OK.
We love you and will talk to you tomorrow. If Audrey does not do something to us. You all are crazy…..
Love you and miss you,
Dad and Mom
Still no clue about the Stacey thing.
You know who else was described as “unique”? Charles Manson, right before he committed mass murder.
I believe Joran Van Der Sloot was also known around the island.
Could you imagine mom’s reaction if WE sent her an email about a local wanting to show us around?!
Love you guys and glad you are making friends and having fun in Aruba! Maybe this Audrey person is super rich and will invite us to come stay at her mansion anytime!!!!
Oh, yeah! Mom, try to get us all an invite to Aruba!
You see how we did that? We went from parenting the parentals out of concern and swung it around until we were greedy bastards wanting an invite to Aruba from a possible serial killer.
It’s the circle of life.