In which I make up names for strip clubs

No this isn’t a post about Hittsburgh.

Oh, sah-nap!

Chill out. I am just kidding, Hittsburgh. Think of all these name mentions as free publicity. I ought to charge you ten cents for every time I type Hittsburgh. ($.30)

A Pittsburgh strip club that burnt down was denied permission to rebuild on account of I guess the strip club never really existed … or something. The news item confused me.

But this LOLzd me:

Smithbower has argued that he has a legal right to rebuilt and reopen the club known as Butta Bing.

Butta Bing!

Butta Bing!

I love it. It’s got the word Butt right in there. This is in contrast to other strip clubs that are much more vague with their names:

Cheerleaders. Could be a sports bar.

Blush. Could be wine bar.

Cricket Lounge: Could be a pub.

Beemers. Could be a bar where BMW owners hang out.

But Butta Bing? In your face, here’s a butt.

Screw the vauge names. I say strip clubs should have obvious names like Va-jay-YAY! or BEWBS or Bajingo Was Her Name Oh or Thongalicious or Hittsburgh! ($.40)

P.S. Please don’t start commenting in defense of Hittsburgh ($.50! I’ll send you a bill). I am just TEASING.

P.P.S. Have fun explaining the BEWBS charge on your credit card to your wife.





35 Comments

  1. johnaz6312
    November 10, 2011 6:30 pm

    Im not sure if it is still there are not but there is actually a stip club in the burgh called “The Cricket” I know because a friend and myself would frequent the place



  2. Shibori
    November 10, 2011 6:42 pm

    The Butta Bing! Seeing the sign out front was always good for a chuckle on the hellish drive from Uniontown to Downtown Pittsburgh on Rt. 51. I didn’t realize it had been vacant that long.



  3. bluzdude
    November 10, 2011 7:47 pm

    “Honestly, honey, BEWBS means The
    Bacon and
    Eggs
    Wonderful
    Breakfast
    Shop.”



  4. Virginia
    November 10, 2011 7:48 pm

    Hah! I love it, Bluz.



  5. redram1
    November 10, 2011 8:11 pm

    …and that’s why I always carry cash!



  6. Different Brian
    November 10, 2011 8:20 pm

    As someone who grew up close to that area I can tell you it USED to be called Bada Bing. As in a straight rip-off from The Sopranos. I can only assume some HBO lawyers got word of it (how?) and they made the owners change the name. They sure showed those lawyers, didn’t they!

    I forget what it was called before that, it was far too long ago.



  7. Janelle
    November 10, 2011 11:10 pm

    I’ve passed this place before. I admire and appreciate their honesty.



  8. Pa-Pop
    November 11, 2011 1:22 am

    Considering the Butta Bing/Soprano’s connection, I’m sorta surprised I’ve never scene a club do homage to 007 or Austin Powers, e.g. “The Pussy Galore Club” or “Alotta Fagina’s.”

    Maybe my extensive research just hasn’t revealed the location of those places yet…



  9. bucdaddy
    November 11, 2011 1:42 am

    bluzdude wins the ‘nets.



  10. AngryMongo
    November 11, 2011 8:31 am

    By that rationale, can we rename the “Highway Playground” as “Visibly Infected C-Section Scar Lounge”?



  11. Katie
    November 11, 2011 10:43 am

    I always thought that the Pleasure Bar in Bloomfield was a strip club. Turns out, it’s not.



  12. T
    November 11, 2011 10:53 am

    Katie- I did too! What a funny name for a restaurant. They make the best eggplant parmesan since my great grandmother.



  13. Monty
    November 11, 2011 11:30 am

    First of all, Butta Bing was an amazing place, run by creative, amazing strip club running people [note: I’m not sure what they are technically called] and has creative, amazing DJ’s and out of this world, creative, amazing naked ladies. And they were all from Pittsburgh (well, technically many of them were from suburbs that a lot of you don’t consider to be “in” Pittsburgh), so put that in your pipes and smoke it, you Pittsburgh small business-hating Pittsburghers.

    It’s amazing how ‘brave’ people can be about making fun of strip club names when there are no repercussions involved. I actually find it funny how small minded and ridiculous some individuals are, especially those of you with your mommy blogs, muffin tops and cankles.

    P.S. @ Angry Mongo, I think it will come down to your sugggestion and “The Angry Lactator.”

    Have a good weekend, you closed-minded bastards.



  14. Bitter
    November 11, 2011 11:36 am

    Whoa! Simmer down there, babe!



  15. bucdaddy
    November 11, 2011 11:56 am

    Whoops, too soon.

    Monty wins the ‘nets.

    BTW, I have a friend who swears Altar Bar in the Strip was a hoochie bar at one time. Can anyone confirm?



  16. Virginia
    November 11, 2011 11:58 am

    Bitter, Monty was just joking and using the Hittsburgh post comments as a template for satire. He’s totally simmered down and being his usual hilarious self. ;)



  17. Virginia
    November 11, 2011 11:58 am

    P.S. Monty, you forgot “turds.” :(



  18. Monty
    November 11, 2011 12:18 pm

    Oh, I’m simmered all right. I’m going to go over to the HPV Hut on Route 22, have a nice bite to eat at the lunch buffet and try to calm down a bit.

    And for Virginia — GOOD DAY, YOU TURD! (I actually do feel shame for forgetting the turds before — I go to box, two minutes by myself, then I get free)



  19. ScareHouse Scott
    November 11, 2011 12:24 pm

    One of our former actors was also a dancer at Cricket – but one of the managers thought she was referring to the mobile phone provider. Hilarity ensued. Manager: “So what’s it like working at Cricket?” – Actor: “Well, once you get used to all the dudes not making eye contact and only looking at your chest it’s actually not too bad.”



  20. inBrookline
    November 11, 2011 12:28 pm

    Wasn’t there a city councilman arrested in that place years ago for smoking crack in the parking lot?

    I vaguely remember the story and can’t remember his name or exact title. Just recall some local politician getting busted there. He was probably wearing a Hittsburgh hoodie at the time.



  21. unsatisfied
    November 11, 2011 1:07 pm

    and, monty —- you forgot “super CUTE!”



  22. Steverino
    November 11, 2011 1:21 pm

    I think I remember a city councilman throwing up in and passing out near a trash bin outside some stripper bar many years ago that made the news. Those “gentlemens clubs” are so classy. Just full of the most dapper of gents. I feel sorry for the sad lives the strippers must lead.



  23. Butcher's Dog
    November 11, 2011 1:28 pm

    OK, OK, we’re all gearing up for a JoePa-less weekend on Saturday and the possibility of losing to the Bungles on Sunday because, you know, they’re good now ‘n ‘at. But we’re passing up the opportunity to add to Ginny’s list of potential strip club names. Sooooo….

    The Rosey Bush, for natural redheads only.
    The Polished Pole, no explanation required.
    A Pickle in Your Pocket, with a nod to Mae West.

    Jump in here, folks. I’m just trying to move the discussion forward.



  24. George
    November 11, 2011 2:14 pm

    The T and A Club

    The Shaved Beaver Boutique



  25. red pen mama
    November 11, 2011 2:51 pm

    At the risk of offending the commenter currently winning the comments, how about one for the ladies?

    The Full Monty.



  26. Monty
    November 11, 2011 3:19 pm

    No offense taken, RPM.

    Ladies, grab a seat in the front row and get out your reading glasses!



  27. Sylvain Lantreaux
    November 11, 2011 3:34 pm

    Sonny Day’s…knew of people who worked or patronized the place up until around ’98 or so…



  28. PG Wodehouse
    November 11, 2011 4:00 pm

    Isn’t Stiffy’s still in McKees Rocks?



  29. Butcher's Dog
    November 11, 2011 4:00 pm

    @red pen mamma: please forgive me for leaving off the ladies. How about….

    Tight Ends.
    Abs-ent Shirts.
    Sexhair Letangs. (don’t hate me, Ginny!)
    Estrogen Cloud.

    Feel free to add to the list. Tight Ends, by the way, would also make a great band name.



  30. red pen mama
    November 11, 2011 4:45 pm

    @monty and @butcher’s dog: BWHAHAHAHA!

    And on that note, I should just quit the Interwebz for the day. Thanks for the laughs.



  31. BurghGirl@Heart
    November 11, 2011 5:38 pm

    I now live in Arlington Texas and near me there is a strip club named the T & A Cabaret. It gets my vote for the best named strip club.



  32. bucdaddy
    November 13, 2011 11:59 am

    Sluts ‘n At.



  33. amy
    November 14, 2011 11:20 am

    wacko jacko’s,the down low’s and catchy snatchies