1. I have a case of PMS that could kill a horse.
Which is odd because I don’t normally get PMS.
Which is odd because my husband is on the floor laughing right now.
So I’m going to cry.
And eat cake.
And then cry because I ate cake.
What are true things that are true and truthy, Alex!?
3. Hizzoner Master Juice Box gave a budget address in which he requested the City of Pittsburgh be removed from State oversight after seven years on account of a balanced budget and spending cuts. Then he said, “And I rock my Hittsburgh gear to the fullest.”
[kicks the dead horse]
I wouldn’t otherwise care, but last time he had an ouchie thumb it was a state secret and became That Which We Do Not Talk About.
The first rule of Big Ben Thumb Injuries is that we do not talk about Big Ben Thumb Injuries.
I was never here.
[Jedi mindtrick hand-wave]
5. The Pittsburgh Press is back! As an e-edition, but still. If you’re too young to remember The Pittsburgh Press that’s because you have a raging case of Whippersnapperitis. It can be cured by vacating my lawn.
6. Have you ever visited the Aviary’s sloth? I love the sloth. It’s cute and lazy and I think it wants me to hug it. International Sloth Day (it’s a thing! Do you suppose there’s an International Wombat Day? I’m going to check. BRB. EFFING A! October 22!) is taking place on November 19 and the Aviary is hosting a special event to celebrate their sloth, Wookiee.
Now I’m going to go check and see if there’s an International Bandicoot Day. BRB. Aw, poor bandicoot. No one loves you enough to give you a day.
7. If you love brewing and/or craft beer, you’ll want to catch a ride on the last two 2011 dates of the Burgh Brewery Tour! They start and end at Penn Brewery and the tour includes tastings at three locations, tasting on the trolley, brewery history, beer knowledge and dinner including appetizer and dessert! Also a “super fun guide.”
Be careful. What if it’s Ray Brooks and he LET’S A BABY DRIVE THE TROLLEY?!
8. If you missed it, Bill Peduto gave the scoop via Twitter over the weekend when Jeff Reed, yes, THAT Jeff Reed, went to the Pens game where his friend stood up on a chair, fell, knocked himself the hell out and had to be taken out by medics on a stretcher.
Write your own something something Sheetz paper towel dispenser something something sluts joke.
9. This has nothing to do with Pittsburgh, but I had to share. So you may have seen this video of the Bruins surprising a serviceman’s mother and father with, well, their son. First, TEARS. If you don’t cry, you’re dead inside.
But second, at the end the Bruin Chara comes up to do the ceremonial face-off and he is easily like seven million feet taller than every single person on the ice and they suddenly look like little people next to him and he could squash them with his snots.
Does he have Wookie blood or something? What a monster.
10. Now I’m going to check to see if there is such as a thing as International Wookie Day. BRB.
Aw, poor Wookie.