Random n’at

1. Each day at my son’s bus stop, which is at a stop sign, the bus sits there with its lights flashing, its stop sign out and lit, allowing kids to embark or disembark the bus.  And each day, at least two cars come down the cross street, stop at the stop sign, and roll on through.

Burghers, are you unaware that the only time you DON’T stop for a school bus which is loading or unloading children is if you are on a highway with a concrete or grass median, otherwise, YOU HAVE TO STOP?

Here’s a handy PDF to help you determine if you need to stop or not, but the easiest thing to do is realize that 99% of the time, YOU HAVE TO STOP.

Otherwise I reserve the right to keep eggs in my coat pocket and I will yolk the HELL out of your car as it rolls through the intersection.

2. I don’t care if you smoke or not, when you see a legit news headline of “Smoking Can Make Your Nipples Fall Off,” YOU CLICK THAT SHIT.

Amazing.

How’d you like to be on the operating table and your doctor says, “Crap. Her nipples are FALLING OFF! Get the leeches!”

3. If you want to know what watching Steelers games with my father is like, look no further than this episode of Pittsburgh Dad. This is my dad SO HARD.

YouTube Preview Image

The only thing missing is Pittsburgh Dad calling out the exact second he believes Elvis walked out of the building.

Is my dad the only dad who does that?

Also, WTAE has an interview with Chris Preksta, and thank God they talked a bit about Mercury Men because I am DYING for season two.

4. A religious expert claims Tim Tebow is overshadowing other religious football players, like there’s a big competition among them for the giantest Jesus light or something.

I do LOVE this line from Troysus:

While Tebow, the son of missionaries, lives the evangelical Christian life, the Steelers star said in an interview that he’s cautious not to push his religious beliefs onto strangers. “It can lead to resentment, and that is not what you want,” Polamalu said. “There is also a sense of arrogance sometimes when people are really hearty, evangelizers, and that is opposite of what faith is. Like, ‘I know this better than you.’ There are a lot of pitfalls to that.”

Amen.

But seriously, I’m a PK, so I know this better than you. What’s the book after Habakkuk?!

Bzzzz. Time’s up.

Zephaniah.

[throws bible signs]

What?

(h/t LeAnnaDinardo on twitter)

5. Henne Jewelers will be placing secret Santa gifts of jewelry near popular Pittsburgh neighborhood landmarks starting this week, for a total of 20 free gifts to whoever is lucky enough to find one. Check their facebook page for more details and be sure to let them know that my front porch stoop has been determined to be a popular neighborhood landmark, by me.

6. A much different Pittsburgh shirt, Steel Town Native by Lain Lee 3, a Pittsburgh illustrator and designer currently living in California:

Pre-orders are still being taken.

7. If you aren’t aware, the on-air staff at WTAE has taken their fight for a contract through collective bargaining to social media via a twitter account and Facebook page where they recount some of the problems they face with Hearst.

Internet, I would cut a boss-bitch. Holy heck.

Vacation time is sacred to me.

Also, I’d like to teach the world the difference between its and it’s.

8. Burgh father and son Vic and Damon Kahn have launched a website dedicated to happy, good news. No Kardashians or Warlocks here! Check out Happy To Be Here!

9. Chris Hoke’s season, and possibly his career is over. At age 35. Sheesh, football is unforgiving.

10. Finally, WPXI’s See and Be Seen has an interview with Fear Factor’s/UFC’s Joe Rogan and in it he is asked about visiting Pittsburgh (start at 2:10) when he mentions he came to Pittsburgh during the “Furry Convention” and what follows is a lovely awkward exchange as both the reporter and Joe have a pregnant pause and then attempt to remain tactful, calling the Furries “interesting” and “enlightening” while their faces both say “WTF IS THIS MADNESS!?!”

Love it!





26 Comments

  1. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    December 6, 2011 1:33 pm

    I react the same way as Pittsburgh Dad during a Steelers game regardless of where I’m watching it. Pretty much every Steelers fan I know does so as well.

    As for its and it’s, it’s frustrating to read (same with your and you’re), but on Twitter with only 140 characters, I do find myself foregoing the apostrophe at times when I’m really pushing the 140 character limit and I’m not using a device or app that allows longer tweets.



  2. bucdaddy
    December 6, 2011 1:41 pm

    Football’s not unforgiving when you’re done at 35. It is when you’re done at 25, and have trouble walking straight and thinking clearly the rest of your life, and don’t have a Super Bowl ring to show for it.

    And speaking of religion and nipples, that story made me go “JESUS CHRIST!”

    Nobody mentioned ANYthing like this when I had that surgery you may remember, the one .. down there. Nobody said like, “BTW, if you smoke, the other one will fall off too.”

    Ghastly. I’ll be having nightmares.



  3. Queen Bee
    December 6, 2011 2:16 pm

    Rather than eggs, try to get your local police force involved with the bus stop issue. I can guarantee that if someone is caught once, that’s all it will take. The minimum fine is $250, a 60-Day Driver’s License Suspension, and five (5) points on your driving record. Not good.

    Pittsburgh Dad is spot on…minus the fact that he should be holding/jumping with/kissing/covering his eyes with/dancing with/rolling up in a ball and tossing around his Terrible Towel and praying Novenas to the Steeler’s patron saint.



  4. Magnus Patris
    December 6, 2011 2:29 pm

    I think if the Surgeon General put “WARNING: Smoking may cause YOUR NIPPLES TO TURN BLACK AND FALL OFF!” on packs of cigarettes, it might be more of a deterrent than cancer and emphysema.



  5. Tim Stack
    December 6, 2011 2:56 pm

    Who the heck still watches local news and would anyone even know if it went away?



  6. Butcher's Dog
    December 6, 2011 3:50 pm

    @Tim Stack: I do, and I would. Spend a bunch of time in, say, Myrtle Beach watching their local news teams, then rush home to hug yours. Or at least your TV set.

    Ginny, I spent 37 years teaching my part of the world the difference between its and it’s. (Think “his”. If you wouldn’t write “hi’s”, don’t write “it’s”) Of course, that was before social media knocked the English back a couple of centuries. Glad I’m not trying to keep everyone straight now.



  7. Ms. Redd
    December 6, 2011 5:18 pm

    Who IS the patron saint of the Steelers? There are lots of times I would like to send some prayers up there.



  8. G-Man
    December 6, 2011 5:46 pm

    I’m not defending the drivers who drive past the school bus on the cross street. But I think it’s very broadly misunderstood that when the bus is not in your actual path, you still have to stop. I think it’s not emphasized in driver’s ed about the cross street thing. And when I took a driving class to get a ticket erased one time, school bus rules were never even discussed. I don’t think the drivers are scoffing, I think they genuinely don’t understand.
    My pet peeve is drivers who change lanes in intersections while making turns INTO the lane where they want to end up. At least once a month I narrowly escape being t-boned because someone cuts me off changing lanes while turning. BTW, changing lanes in an intersection is WRECKLESS DRIVING, people.



  9. bluzdude
    December 6, 2011 8:15 pm

    I saw myself in Pittsburgh Dad at the part where he realizes he’s sitting in the wrong part of the sofa. But with me, I only have one chair I sit in for TV, so I dwell over whether I should have my feet crossed or keep them straight. Or have one foot on the foot rest. Or keep my slippers all the way on, or let them slide off the heel.

    And sometimes it varies between when we’re on offense or defense.

    OK, isn’t admitting that you have a problem the first step to recovery?



  10. VAgirl
    December 6, 2011 8:35 pm

    Many moons ago in the land of the Pennsylvania wilds I had a classmate that got off her bus, then proceeded to cross in front of the bus and across the other lane of the road to walk her .5 mile to her home. She never made it. The driver behind the bus got impatient and passed then struck her dead. She was a quiet girl but had a very cheerful laugh. I say egg, get a video of their law breaking and call the police. Call me and I’ll come and hang with you and when these rollers of destruction come by I will follow until we are out of sight of the children and lay down some rightoues code on them. In Kathy’s name and memory.



  11. tokenintexas
    December 6, 2011 10:04 pm

    the shame of this weeks pittsburgh dad is the fact that is an EXACT duplicate of how i watch steeler games. can i blame it on my dad though?



  12. burgher-licious
    December 7, 2011 9:01 am

    I believe that the only reason the Pens won any Stanley Cups and the Steelers won any Superbowls during my lifetime was due to what I was wearing, where I was sitting, and who I was with during each event. There is no I in team – but there is superstition.



  13. Sean
    December 7, 2011 9:04 am

    Do the buses have those stop signs on their sides that unfold whenever the lights flash red? I live in Louisville, KY and all the local buses here do but I haven’t visited back home in PA when school’s been in session in a long time, so I wasn’t sure if those attached stop signs were standard now on school buses.

    I’m a parent, so it’s a no-brainer for me to stop and wait because I understand how a parent would feel if some idiot passed a school bus and endangered my child.



  14. Jill M
    December 7, 2011 9:05 am

    Yep! My dad watches weekly from his 1977 burnt orange lazy-boy recliner. Now that we are all grown, if we come over during a game – which we are “encouraged” not to do, because we may talk, or the kids may want to visit with him, we know we will be eating dinner during halftime, or at 4:15.

    He can’t get rid of us easily though – we live 4 miles apart, but he gets KDKA and we do not (damn Time Warner of NE Ohio)…

    PS: My dad still wears those glasses too…



  15. SteelCityMagnolia
    December 7, 2011 9:51 am

    All but peeing myself laughing over Pittsburgh Dad! In my family, though, that’s my mama and me, and the language is far saltier. I can say with all honesty that the first time my dear, sweet, never-say-a-bad-word-to-anyone Southern-born/bred mama drops an f-bomb, it will be during a Steelers game. We’ve come close.

    What’s funnier yet is that my brother-in-law is a native Pittsburgher who bleeds black and gold and I swear does not own an article of clothing that does not have a Pittsburgh sports team logo on it. He’s been known to get calls from the neighbors about his game day rants and raves. But Mama and I have him beat by miles. MILES….



  16. Christa
    December 7, 2011 10:34 am

    Three years ago I got married. I gave over 1 year of notice to my employer that I would be taking 2 weeks off for the wedding and honeymoon. Everything was fine until about 6 months before the wedding date and my District Manager kept dropping hints to me that “I might not be allowed to take that window of time in June off work.” And he was serious. He wanted me to completely cancel the wedding and plan everything all over again. I found a different job within weeks of his 3rd threat that he might have to take away my honeymoon just because it was in June.
    So I also take vacation time very seriously. There are some things as an employer that you just don’t F with.



  17. gunnlino
    December 7, 2011 11:57 am

    Re the vacation time subject ; I learned a long time ago, supervising very educated men and women who carried guns as part of their job description , that if you take care to see to things like vacation time , baby births , family weddings , anniversaries , etc ( that your are made aware of ahead of time ) . Those people will walk through fire and rain for you .
    Are you listening managers ?



  18. Butcher's Dog
    December 7, 2011 1:55 pm

    @Sean: up here in Mercer County the busses have that pop-out stop sign to the left of the driver (from the back of the bus perspective). I think they all do.

    @Christa, Sean, and others on the vacation stuff: Sorry to get all political, but this is precisely another reason why we need unions and collectively bargained agreements. Anyone who thinks the Captains of Industry are benevolent patrons who love their employees and will do anything for them is dreaming. And to those who look at union contracts and say, “We don’t have anything like that”, you’re right. But it’s because the Captains outsourced everything possible and now are happy to have workers cower in their cubicles.

    Just last night CBS News quoted a stat that said CEOs used to get 30 times what the average worker got. Now they get 110 times that average figure. They’re not being rewarded for being benevolent.

    OK. I’m better now.



  19. windy city steel city
    December 7, 2011 3:10 pm

    Habbakkuk was an answer / question last night on Jeopardy! in the catagory “things that start with hab” [creative I know].
    Unfortunately, none of the answers / questions were: a nickname for the Montreal Canadians



  20. red pen mama
    December 7, 2011 3:38 pm

    Honestly, my favorite bus drivers are the ones who pull all the way across the road to make their “you will stop right there and wait, mf’er” point.

    Watching the game with anyone in my family is filled with much, much more profanity than that. Although my husband usually declares about 5 minutes into the game — any game, mind you — that we are going to lose. Freakin’ drives me insane.



  21. MissChris
    December 8, 2011 2:01 pm

    Pittsburgh Dad is totally on. All its missing is the f-bombs and other fantastical curse words my Dad makes up during the game.



  22. bucdaddy
    December 8, 2011 2:31 pm

    *reads MissChris’ comment, hears Darren McGavin as The Old Man in “A Christmas Story” working his vocabulary likes artists work in oils or clay*



  23. LaReina
    December 8, 2011 3:48 pm

    “Pittsburgh Dad” is pretty lame. The laugh track kicked in at all the wrong times. When was it funny? Ugh. Give me Greg and Donny anytime, ‘n’at.



  24. Monty
    December 9, 2011 10:36 am

    I’m just glad everyone here still calls it vacation instead of va-cay-cay.



  25. johnaz6312
    December 10, 2011 7:27 pm

    This was my father as well. especially the “Geez Louise” part. My dad got so upset that I had to stop watching the games with him




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