- December 22, 2011
- filed under Awesome Burghers, Ben Roethlisberger, Evgeni Malkin, Penguins, Sidney Crosby, Steelers
1. Shout out to the black Toyota Rav 4 who was doing a good 50 mph before slamming on his brakes the moment his front bumper entered the Squirrel Hill Tunnel.
You ARE the tunnel monster.
Oh, that’s gonna be a shirt.
2. I forgot to mention my latest post up at Pittsburgh Magazine, this one revealing where Pittsburgh ranks on the top ten worst cities for disaster response. I have come up with some contingency plans, since clearly the city isn’t going to take care of us when those islands in the Pacific fall into the ocean creating a tsunami that wipes out NYC before heading to Pittsburgh.
I might watch too much SyFy for my own good.
1. Run for the Hills
As reader Lucy, who sent me the link to the story, wrote, “Maybe the kind folks who conducted the survey didn’t consider the Mayor’s plan to run for the hills (literally – hello Seven Springs!) an effective disaster preparedness method.” I think we can all agree that planning to simply run for the Laurel Mountains or even the top of Mt. Washington is poor planning and preparedness and only brings you closer to the enemy if the disaster is an alien invasion.
3. Penguin Strangers, not “Perfect Strangers.”
Let’s do the Dance of Joy, cousin!
Gonna be singing that song all damn day now.
4. Highmark and UPMC have been fighting forever it seems now, with UPMC insisting that it cannot negotiate with Highmark because Highmark dared to become a direct provider of health services with its purchase of West Penn/Allegheny. This is cute because UPMC is conveniently ignoring the fact that they DARED to become a direct competitor of Highmark’s by starting their own health insurance plan and round and round we go and who can I punch? Nobody knows.
At least this is a small glimmer of good news:
UPMC hospitals and physicians will be available to Highmark Inc. insurance customers at in-network rates through June 30, 2013, under a new agreement the warring companies announced this morning.
Just the other day I saw a UPMC commercial where the announcer was all, “UPMC and Highmark will be parting ways in 2012. THAT’S A FACT. A COLD HARD FACT. LET IT SINK IN. NOW WEEP. AND PANIC. NOW WATCH US TAKE OUR BALL AND GO HOME.”
I’ve paraphrased. But the whole thing still pisses me off to no end. A nonprofit fighting over profits should make us all super stabby.
5. Headline: “Roethlisberger expects to play Saturday.”
6. Aspinwall Police Officer David Nemec started this awesome drive to provide toy gifts to the children who will be spending Christmas in Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh. Check out Presents from Police!
What an awesome Burgher.
7. Oh, hell:
Police said a Christmas shopper was attacked by two robbers while walking out of the Mall at Robinson late Wednesday night. Channel 4 Action News’ Amber Nicotra reported that the victim was approached by two men, one of whom was wearing a monkey mask, outside the Macy’s just before 11 p.m.
I can handle the Scream masks or the dead presidents masks or ski masks, but my God, you come at me with a MONKEY MASK?!
I will either run away screaming so fast the robber would think I had super powers, or the fear-induced adrenaline rush would cause me to kill the robber. With fire.