A new villain in town

Note to me: You spelled villain correctly this time. Have a cookie.

Other than the recent rash of home invasions, which, MERRY FREAKING CHRISTMAS, Pittsburgh is pretty safe and our villains would probably bore a regular superhero to tears.

Superhero: [sigh] “God, Giles! What do you mean the One-Legged Wheelchair Bandit robbed another store? Didn’t I just aggressively roll that guy away yesterday?

Well, joining the Rogue Tree Pruner, the Petunia Desperado, the Sharply-Dressed Penny Thief, the One-Legged Wheelchair Bandit, and the Egg Nog Thief, we have … drum roll …

The Soft-Spoken Robber.

This dude shows up with a semi-automatic weapon, quietly robs you, apologizing the entire time, and then thanks you before he leaves.

And you thought chivalry was dead.



  1. bluzdude
    December 27, 2011 2:46 pm

    Sounds like a classic Soft-Talker. One minute you’re getting someone to wear a puffy-shirt, the next minute you’re robbing banks.

  2. Butcher's Dog
    December 27, 2011 3:06 pm

    Seeing the posting head, I thought this was a run-up to Jagr’s return on Thursday. Guess we’ll have to wait a couple of days for that one.

  3. bucdaddy
    December 28, 2011 12:51 am

    Was the man wearing a cardigan and sneakers*? Has anyone checked Mr. Rogers’ grave?

    *–Or was it loafers?

  4. Butcher's Dog
    December 29, 2011 12:49 pm

    All right, people. Let’s focus now! Jagr’s in town, he plays for the Cryers (whom we need to beat), and we need the Bungles to beat the Cravens on Sunday. Bring the hate, people. Bring the hate! We can go back to being all “peace on earth” on Monday.

  5. Mayor Gia
    December 29, 2011 8:10 pm

    Well at least he has manners. Also, villain should clearly be spelled villian. Every time I have to write it, I go Vill-AYYYYYYNNNN in my head to remember.