Jaromir Jagr is back in town tonight, as is Max Talbot, both of them playing for the hated Flyers [patooie] [stabs the Marian Hossa voodoo doll in the throat].
You have a couple of choices:
- You can choose to not boo Jagr.
- You can boo Jagr a little bit on the inside.
- You can boo Jagr a little bit on the outside. Boo.
- You can boo Jagr until your guts spill out of your mouth.
- You can boo Jagr until your vocal cords seize.
- You can boo Jagr until you forget to suck air back in, and pass out, pulling a “Friend of Jeff Reed’s.” That’s not a euphemism.
- You can boo Jagr until your face goes all Raiders of the Lost Ark facemelt and your children scream, “DADDY’S SCARING ME!” Or in my case, “MOMMY’S SCARING ME!”
But what you cannot do, what you shall not do, what you must not do, Pittsburgh, is boo Max Talbot.
I won’t allow it.
[awkward kung fu moves]
But my God, I won’t judge you one bit if you boo that Jagr jackass until your eardrums rupture at the same time your spleen does.