That's Church

So you know the mayor is in the Dark Knight Rises trailer and now that the clear official trailer is out, we can see what happens to Lukey in the movie.

1. Here’s the mayor, #5 for the Rapid City Monuments, the team opposing the Gotham Rogues:

2. Here’s the mayor running after Hines Ward who is returning the mayor’s punt for a touchdown:

3. And here’s Lukey being swallowed by a giant hole:

Oh, crap. SPOILER ALERT!

(h/t Woy!)

For those of you who haven’t seen it yet or who no longer live around these parts, Paul K. sent over these pictures of the Igloo with its aluminum steel roofing sheets stripped off:

I understand why it’s coming down, but it’s still a sad sight.

Each year the Steelers release a Christmas video. Their way of wishing their fans a happy holiday while showcasing some of the most terrible singing skills since I sang “Silent Night” twenty minutes ago and my daughter screamed at me to “STOP!” and my dog whined pathetically and then shat the rug.

You know you can’t sing when you make animals lose complete control of their bowels.

This year the Steelers are releasing four videos of Christmas carols sung by the team and the first video is up at Steelers.com featuring Mike Tomlin, the defensive line, the tight ends [wink], and the kickers.

First up is the defensive line singing “Winter Wonderland” in the style of Drunk at the Office Christmas Party. I particularly love the coach who is concentrating so hard to read the words on the cue cards that his brain very nearly starts smoking.

Then the tight ends are singing “Sleigh Ride” in the style of Preschool Christmas Sing-Along Spectacular. They are frozen. Lifeless. Only their lips are moving.

All that’s missing is a girl in the front repeatedly pulling her dress over her head to show the audience her Elmo underwear. That’s usually the role my daughter plays every year. Except this year she played “Girl who needs to pee urgently.” We’re so proud.

And finally the kickers are up:

I’m sorry, but I can’t hear past all the LOUD PORN ‘STACHES.

Somebody put a Schick in their stockings, would ya?

That’s not a euphemism.

Oh, THE BURN.

THE HELLFIRE BURN OF THE VOLCANO.

What the hell was I thinking? The next time I start to write something about such a hot-button issue as Occupy Pittsburgh, you have my permission to reach through your computer and smack the living snot out of me. I won’t press charges or anything.

Let’s get the yucky taste of politics out of our mouths to start this holiday week off right!

PMI is a local video and media production company with offices in the Buhl Building, and the employees decided to forgo the usual holiday greeting in favor of this much more DING-DONG-A-LICIOUS one!

That’s not a euphemism!

The elevator part slayed me.

The man who first starts the singing is their CEO David Case whose online PMI profile lists his title as The Big Kahuna.

If his business card doesn’t say The Big Kahuna, I call shenanigans.

Watch the video. Get in the spirit. Forget the Occupy Pittsburgh debate.

Let’s all hug it out and kiss under the mistletoe!

You get a Tic-Tac! You get a Tic-Tac! ERRYBODY GETS A TIC-TAC!

So I’ve avoided talking about Occupy Pittsburgh because, as I’ve said, your volcano is a little too burny for me.

But the hell with it. It’s Christmas!

Look, I have nothing against the original actual Occupy protesters’ issues. The rich getting rich off of the poor. The rich getting richer while the poor get poorer. Workers rights in the face of shrinking wages while the CEOs take giant bonuses. Corporate greed.  Worthy issues worthy of protest.

You originally started as an offshoot of Occupy Wall Street and chose to target Bank of New York Mellon’s alleged practice of skimming public pensions illegally. You occupied BNYM’s private property and what started as a home base for a decent number of the 99% with their eyes on one issue, has become a campground for a smorgasbord of your various pet issues — everything from workers’ rights to ending the Iraq War to paper balloting and now, transit cuts.

“Education over incarceration!” “Eat the Rich!” “Dear Capitalism. It’s not you. It’s us. Just kidding. It’s you.”

Now you’re flying the American flag upside down and the banner on the front of Mellon Green, which you “seized” and renamed The People’s Park, reads, “Go ahead. This park is ours. Try us.”

[giant eyeroll]

Look, you’re dangerously close to overstaying your welcome and hell, now that I’ve seen a picture of the muddy park, I’m going to go right ahead and say, “You’ve overstayed your welcome.”

Not just your welcome by BNYM, who allowed you to camp on their property for two months now, but you’ve overstayed your welcome with many regular Burghers who are also part of the 99%. Many of the people you’re fighting for are ready for you to pack it in, regroup, and try a new tactic.

It’s not just that your site is an eyesore, it’s that you have no message. No central issue. No organization of purpose. Sure you’ve winterized your camp and you’re lashing out at BNYM for trying to evict you from their property. Sure you’ve got your weatherization committee and your Legal Working Group and your menstruation tent, all in an effort to give an outward sense of unity and legitimacy to what is more and more evidently a quilt that has been torn apart at the seams, leaving random squares here and there, no longer fitting together to serve any purpose.

BNYM is not listening. Your message has become watered down by extraneous issues. Where will you move onto after you’ve protested Target’s hiring practices and protested the transit cuts?

Protests work best when the people are passionate. It’s hard to stay passionate month after month. This is evident in your dwindling numbers.

Protests work best when the demands are specific, the results are actually obtainable, and the issues are narrow and clear. “EAT THE RICH” is not a specific demand or a definable issue unless you’re an anarchist cannibal.

Protests work best when you have and maintain the support of the people. I fear you’re losing that, if you haven’t already.

You can be a useful quilt again, but you’ve got to go home and start sewing.

Yours,

Me.