BPMS is my next band name, maybe.

It is my in-expert opinion that rhino sex is the most violent of all animal sex.

Why else would I have a fake band name of Violent Rhino Sex?

Violent Rhino Sex was created after this appeared in the P-G:

Barbara Baker, Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium president and chief operating officer, held a news conference outside the rhino yard today to alert zoo visitors that they could be witness to some rough but “entertaining” animal sex.

If you have an interest in just how “violent” rhino sex can get … if you’re interested in animal mating in general, AND WHO ISN’T?!, then the Pittsburgh Zoo has got a Valentine’s Day treat for you!

Join us for dinner, cocktails, and an adults-only presentation by Henry Kacprzyk, who will reveal the intimate secrets of exotic animal mating. From the most violent mating battles to the subtlest courting rituals, learn how the animals of land, sea, and air find love in the wild. Pre-registration is required by Monday, February 6.

I find animal sex embarrassing. If I’m at the zoo and the elephants start going at it, I’m all [blush] OMG TURN OFF THE ANIMAL PORN, YOU GUYS! (Hiya, Googlers of “animal porn.”) When my dog starts humping his stuffed duck girlfriend, I shout, “NO ONE NEEDS TO SEE THAT! TAKE IT TO YOUR BED, LITTLE DOGGIE!”

So I’ll be passing this event up, but I’m sure there are other less pilgrim-y Burghers out there who would love this. If you go, let me know if there is animal sex more violent than rhino sex. For all I know my next band name needs to be Berserk Praying Mantis Sex.

P.S. I just searched “rhino sex” on YouTube. Don’t you do it. Trust me. Neuralyzer please.

(h/t Mikey on Twitter)

 





15 Comments

  1. Noelle
    January 6, 2012 11:17 am

    Ginny, you should get that pooch a doggie sex doll! They are the hottest thing going…http://gizmodo.com/253334/hotdoll-the-sex-doll-for-dogs



  2. Butcher's Dog
    January 6, 2012 11:34 am

    Violent mating battles? Subtle courting rituals? Love in the wild? And I have to go to the zoo to see this? What’s the matter…did the cable go out again?



  3. G-Man
    January 6, 2012 12:14 pm

    I learn something new every day. I would have bet $5 that violent rhino sex would have involved Russell Brand in some way.



  4. jmarinara
    January 6, 2012 1:37 pm

    Hi-ya “stuffed duck girlfriend” Googlers!



  5. emstef23
    January 6, 2012 1:38 pm

    was at the zoo once with my then 2 yr old when the lions were going at it (when the male lion was still alive!!) – I was embarassed – I’m a pilgrim too!!



  6. Jim W.
    January 6, 2012 2:03 pm

    you searched it??? Methinks thou doth protest too much. Weirdo.



  7. Ginny's Dad
    January 6, 2012 8:09 pm

    Very romantic but a bit pricey …. I think your Mom would decline my invitation to attend the “performance”.



  8. Sam's Dog
    January 6, 2012 10:03 pm

    C’mon, we all know some of the people at that event are going home to try out some of the things they’ve just seen…..



  9. Janelle
    January 8, 2012 11:53 am

    I hate Valentine’s Day, but this is unique enough to get me on the bandwagon for just one year.



  10. MattDC
    January 9, 2012 1:07 pm

    Don’t ya just hate it when your dad publicly comments on your prediliction for violent animal copulation?

    Excuse me while I go check out my daughter’s blog.



  11. Virginia
    January 9, 2012 1:33 pm

    Matt, I need that on a shirt.



  12. Ginny's Dad
    January 9, 2012 1:57 pm

    @ MattDC

    I’m trying to embarrass her so she doesn’t do it again … but I doubt if it will work.



  13. Karla
    January 9, 2012 3:49 pm

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post. Hoping the zoo dinner will turn out to be a Valentine’s date to remember!



  14. Marlene
    January 9, 2012 5:10 pm

    Apparently you aren’t aware that the female matis eats the male after mating…true fact.



  15. Marlene
    January 9, 2012 5:10 pm

    Make that * mantis *