Grandma is LYING.

Dear Grandma, you had me until “pointy hat.”

A Fayette County grandmother said she’s no marijuana grower, just a woman who wanted something that would look pretty next to her tomatoes.  A jury cleared Alberta Kelley, 67, of drug possession and manufacture charges on Wednesday after she told them she simply tossed a handful of seeds into her garden after a bearded stranger gave them to her.

Investigators said they found seven well-cultivated, four-foot marijuana plants behind her home.But Kelley claimed she didn’t know what she was growing. She said she’d been given the seeds by a stranger in a pointy hat who told her they were flower seeds.

Let’s Google “pointy hats” and see what kind of people actually wear pointy hats and beards:

This is Fayette County we’re talking about, so I’m going with the garden gnome.


  1. Matt
    January 6, 2012 1:16 pm

    I actually know someone who ordered tomato plants off the internet and received the tomato plants along with a marijuana plant. She thought it was just a funny looking tomato plant. Maybe the man with the pointy hat has a website?

  2. Paul
    January 6, 2012 1:21 pm

    Oh sure. Man with the pointed hat. That’s what they all say!

    Actually, did they drug test her in court because with that description she seems high.

  3. rickh
    January 6, 2012 2:03 pm

    The Travelocity gnome is a drug dealer? That explains the cheap flights to CA.

  4. unsatisfied
    January 6, 2012 2:19 pm

    I’ll have what she’s growing.

  5. jennviolet
    January 6, 2012 2:29 pm

    My BF and I saw this story on the news last night. We both thought grandma was full of BS. I wish video of her interview was online. I mean, I’m no expert but I think I can tell when someone’s fibbing.

  6. burgher-licious
    January 6, 2012 3:38 pm

    I think the man in the pointy hat was really the cross-dresser from Fayette county who was really going to the store to buy her seeds but felt it was all wrong and thus chained him/herself to the car. The whole “wife” thing with him is a myth. All makes sense now.

  7. TK
    January 6, 2012 4:04 pm

    “what kind of people actually wear pointy hats”

    It’s Fayette County. You forgot the Klan members.

  8. Butcher's Dog
    January 6, 2012 4:35 pm

    Wait…she’s 67? Means if she went to college she probably graduated in ’66. And she doesn’t know Mary Jane when she sees it? Yeah, right. Thirty days. Next case.

    And if she didn’t go to college, she probably ran some in for those who did. Just sayin’.

  9. suzie-Q
    January 6, 2012 7:17 pm

    Sing along with me, “I get high with a little help from my friends” especially the ones in the pointy hats!!

  10. Lisa
    January 6, 2012 8:12 pm

    Or maybe she was talking about the Pointy Heads:

    “A friendly term refering to the lovely people of Cornwall who are all related to Pixies and Elves. These small people always wore pointed hats and hence the nickname.”

  11. Pa-Pop
    January 6, 2012 8:18 pm

    Wait…wait! I’ve seen the Pope in a pointy hat lots of times. Hey, grandma: Dominiscus your biscus!

  12. cmd_45
    January 7, 2012 10:06 am

    Does she have a son named Jack who traded the seeds for their last cow? And in her anger and frustration, did she throw said seeds out of the window. Someone needs to look for the giant.

  13. suzie-Q
    January 8, 2012 11:56 pm

    From Yahoo news:

    Thirty-year-old Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop is tentatively charged with carrying a concealed knife, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana and a probation violation after his arrest Thursday in Madison, Wisconsin.

    Google that…and I’ll bet we find the man in the pointy hat!!!

  14. Butcher's Dog
    January 9, 2012 7:19 am

    As we stand poised to let the griping begin over the Steelers, make sure we save some vitriol for the announcers. Anyone remotely sober who could understand the “not-sudden-death, really-is-sudden-death” crap that came out of Jim Nantz, step right up. You’re the next frontrunner for the Republican nomination.

  15. Aileen
    January 9, 2012 8:49 am

    Butcher –

    I was ready to reach through the TV and throttle Phil Simms. He was beyond his usual irritating and arrogant self.

    By the way, did anyone else notice the OL for Broncos holding James Harrison THE ENTIRE GAME.

  16. Julie
    January 9, 2012 10:08 am

    Um, Aileen, the entire defense was held THE ENTIRE GAME. I only got to actually see the second half (I was cooking the first half, so I could only listen) and OMG…the reason Tebow had no pressure was because no one could get to him. They were too busy being mugged!! I half expected to see police and crime scene tape on the field there were so many muggings. I watched two guys basically hog tie Heywood on one play!!

  17. bucdaddy
    January 9, 2012 11:18 am

    Somebody call the whaaaaaaambulance.

  18. J
    January 15, 2012 12:24 pm

    My husband was on the Jury! And, although we did not know her, she lived a few blocks from our home. The Jury followed the facts, the evidence was a photograph of the plants in the police station. NOT in her garden. The Jury did the right thing. On a moral note. What a waste of our tax dollars. Police and politicians know the war on drugs brings millions of tax dollars into there own interests. Grants and loans to extend and provide and set up programs. This is Job security and a vicious cycle that ignores the problem and filters money from our pockets into this self serving system that hurts our communities.

  19. J
    January 15, 2012 12:30 pm

    Dear Butcher, This lady did not have the luxury to go college, she was a scrub lady at a drug store all of her live… Seventh grade education! Saved her money , Owned her home! and worked really really hard all of her life. I say she has a right to lie! She never left the small town in Fayette co. Forced to leave school in 7th grade and start a life of scrubbing counters and floors in Burns Drug Store for her entire life. Would you send her to Jail? Anyone? 5 plants.

  20. J
    January 15, 2012 12:34 pm

    @ Jenn, Your Boyfriend and you need to use your truth detector skills for good.

  21. bucdaddy
    January 15, 2012 3:07 pm

    The seeds of our discontent, indeed.

    I hope I live long enough to be able to walk into a legal marijuana bar. (The food better be good, and lots of it.)

    But I doubt I will.