Tunnel Monster Awareness Day


The state Department of Environmental Protection has been notified about a significant layer of a purple substance along the Allegheny River. The unknown substance currently stretches from Sharpsburg to the area of the Highland Park Bridge, spokesman John Poister said.

The Allegheny County Health Department is looking into the matter. They think it may be some sort of oxidizing agent in water treatment that does not appear to pose a threat.

Or, or, OR! The tunnel monster that lives in there just puked.

You people who voluntarily jump into that river have got ZEE GIANTEST BALLS.



  1. Michael Sorg
    January 17, 2012 5:39 pm

    Glad we jumped on the Mon. Think I swallowed some of it..

  2. Aileen
    January 17, 2012 7:33 pm

    Maybe Ray Lewis finally dissolved. That could account for it.

  3. bucdaddy
    January 18, 2012 10:47 am

    Is it a lavender purple or more a royal purple? Or somewhere in between? Dig into your kids’ Crayola box and let me know if it’s:

    Plum 8E4585 142,69,133
    Hot Magenta FF1DCE 255,29,206
    Purple Pizzazz FF1DCE 255,29,206
    Razzle Dazzle Rose FF48D0 255,72,208
    Orchid E6A8D7 230,168,215
    Red Violet C0448F 192,68,143
    Eggplant 6E5160 110,81,96
    Cerise DD4492 221,68,146
    Wild Strawberry FF43A4 255,67,164
    Magenta F664AF 246,100,175
    Lavender FCB4D5 252,180,213

    NOTE/QUOTE: Aaron at ColorSchemer.com created a fun list of all 120 Crayon Colors with their hex codes and RGB values. “All of these colors are rough approximations from Crayola’s current list of 120 Crayon Colors. -CS”

  4. Karla
    January 18, 2012 12:17 pm

    Time to go kayaking!

  5. Niki
    January 19, 2012 4:00 pm

    Vigo the Carpathian = winning

  6. Kayaker
    January 22, 2012 10:28 pm

    They “think” it may be “some sort” of oxidizing agent in water treatment that “does not appear” to pose a threat.

    Now there is a vague statment that I’m sure was meant to be reassuring, think I’ll find another body of water just he same Health Dept.