1. I just read all of my Post-Gazettes from last Wednesday to yesterday, so this post is going to be BIZZONKERS!
You’ve been warned.
2. Yesterday at church I learned about Mephibosheth and I tell you this so you understand that Mephibosheth would make a kickass Amish rock band name. First single — “I don’t need no electricity, ’cause baby you light my fire.”
3. Bizzonkers is the new cray-cray.
4. This past weekend, Joe Paterno died on Twitter and then he died in real life 18 hours later.
It’s true — I will never ever ever understand what it’s like to be a Penn Stater, and I’ll never understand that kind of devotion to a football coach, and I’ll never understand why Sandusky wasn’t stopped a decade sooner, but I understand loss, so I’ll just say my condolences to those who love him.
5. Geno is beast. Beast. Sexy beast. He gets hotter with every goal he scores and every game he saves and if he wins three more games for us I am going to go all [BEWBS] like never before and nickname him Sexgoal.
Also, Mikey and BigBob found this sweet shirt:
It is score.
6.Well, it is official. Jimmy Krenn is out at DVE and Scott Paulsen is back in a partial fashion.
Hopefully this leads to exciting things for Jim.
7. Snow, ice, rain, sun, warmth, snot-freezing cold. We’ve had it all in the space of three days and this Zits cartoon really got it right.
Next time a storm is rolling in, I dare Demetrius Ivory or Scott Harbaugh to be all, “Well, prepare to get a giant painful wedgie courtesy of Mother Nature this weekend.”
8. I love trivia. Trivial Pursuit is kinda my bitch and I used to love playing trivia at Bud Murphy’s in Connellsville. If you love trivia, put a team of co-workers together and have your company enroll you in the Greater Pittsburgh Literacy Council Trivia Bowl!
Show your smarts for a good cause!
9. A PAT driver left his seat at the wheel and assaulted a rider for apparently no reason while the bus was in motion, lied about it, got busted by surveillance video, and has remained on the job since that January 8 incident, while the Port Authority plans a hearing to determine if disciplinary action is warranted.
Hey, one of you go punch one of your customer’s lights out, get it on video, lie about it and let me know if you still have your job in two weeks. KTHXBAI.
10. February 10 and 11 is the second annual Chachi Plays for Kids marathon during which Anthony “Chachi” Walker will play video games at the Toonseum for 24 straight hours to benefit the Toonseum and the Father Ryan Arts Center. Chachi picks a new charity each year and raised money for Make Room for Kids last year. This year I’m honored Anthony asked me to take the first slot at 7:00 p.m. on February 10 for a rematch of Mario Kart.
If Trivial Pursuit is my bitch, Mario Kart is my super-bitch sisterwife. Chachi is going to be spending an hour slipping on my banana peels. That’s not a euphemism.
11. Mayor Lukey’s Tim Tebow jersey, autographed by Mayor Lukey — NOT TIM TEBOW, sold for $1,400 on eBay.
I have a suspicion the Dread Lord Zober won it and is either using it as a Lukey voodoo doll all STAB DIE STAB, or is holding it to his face every chance he gets to breathe in the sweet sweet smell of his hizzoner master. Either or.
12. Finally, the Pittsburgh Google office was named one of the 15 coolest offices in technology by Business Insider. I had toured Google’s old site, which was mind blowing (HELLO, FREAKING DESSERT FREAKING BAR FREAKING), so I need to go right now and bug some Google peeps about a tour of this new site.
I hope they still have the FREAKING DESSERT FREAKING BAR FREAKING.
(h/t James, who pointed out that they missed the fact that the catwalk pays homage to the Smithfield Street Bridge.)