Le Statue

Finally!

After decades of adoration, we finally will have an actual physical altar at which to worship Le Magnifique, which is French for “Mario, will you marry me? Circle one. Yes or No.”

The Pittsburgh Penguins announced today that a statue honoring the career and achievements of the hockey legend and Hall-of-Famer will be unveiled on March 7.

The statue, called “Le Magnifique,” will be located in the plaza just outside of the Trib Total Media Gate to the CONSOL Energy Center.

I’ll need to consult my Bible to be sure, but I assume burnt offerings of torched Ovechkin jerseys are acceptable sacrifice?

What about pigeons afire?





13 Comments

  1. PA Girl in VA
    January 24, 2012 1:58 pm

    Every single time we see him on TV, I tell my almost-8-year-old son, “Look, Ronnie! There’s your REAL daddy!!” He doesn’t find it amusing, but a girl can dream, can’t she???? However, I realize that if I were getting child support from Mario, we’d be living in a MUCH nicer house! **sigh**



  2. James Foreman
    January 24, 2012 3:00 pm

    I think it’s wonderful that we’re getting a statue to the guy who held the city and taxpayers over a barrel while threatening to take his ball and go home when we didn’t want to pay for another enormous place for people to play sports.

    But they’re winning sports games now so that’s all that matters, right?

    Great. Glad we haven’t forgotten any of that unpleasant stuff.



    • Butcher's Dog
      January 24, 2012 6:03 pm

      James, there’s really no nice way to say this. Bite me. The new arena is so much more than a place to play hockey. Point one: McCartney doesn’t come here for one, let alone two, concerts without it. Within a year or two Mellon would have been hosting Hootenanies, at best, and that would have been it. Throw in the Foundation and all the rest of the work he does and kicking Mario because of the negotiations is like kicking Paterno because of Sandusky. It’s done, but I despise it.



      • Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
        January 24, 2012 10:00 pm

        Where’s the LIKE button? You rock B-Dawg!



      • Pensgirl
        January 25, 2012 4:53 pm

        Y’know, BD, I was set to ignore this blatant trolling when I first saw the comment, but since you replied so beautifully I’m going to go ahead and pile on.

        Mario was the one to insist that all of the creditors be paid in full when he bought the team from bankruptcy. That NEVER happens. (And the cherry on top – they did it early.)

        And the city promised the new arena as part of the bankruptcy proceedings (same source article). But that little “unpleasantness” doesn’t fit our little haterade-fueled paradigm, so let’s just ignore it.

        (So, too, we’ll ignore that the team contracted with Isle of Capri to build the arena for free had they gotten the gaming license.)

        Absolutely people should refrain from worshiping any other person or falling into the trap of thinking someone can literally do no wrong; if Paterno’s case didn’t prove that, nothing will. But Mario has done more than enough for the region to be worthy of the honor and affection a statue signifies.



    • bucdaddy
      January 25, 2012 11:08 am

      You mean like the public pout he threw when the Penguins drafted him, refused to put on the ballcap?

      I was having beers with a coworker/friend last night whose (not just favorite hockey player) favorite human being of all time is Mario. And not long after he’d arrived at our workplace and I found out he was a huge Mario fan I goaded him some, for the fun of it. I told him Mario had screwed over the franchise for years by trying to be a player/owner (player for maybe 20 games a year) because a normal team with a fading, injury-prone superstar would trade him to a contender for a boatload of prospects. And barring that, if he couldn’t perform to professional levels anymore you’d bench him or send him down or release him. But with Mario, your GM’s and coach’s hands are tied, you had to put up with him trying to play as long as he wanted while your team plodded along dead last, unable to use its best asset to improve itself.

      The guy told me I had literally infuriated him with that, said he’d gone home in a rage and told his wife he couldn’t believe what an asshole I was.

      Heh. We laughed about that and had another beer.



  3. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    January 24, 2012 4:42 pm

    I always get nervous when statues are errected for living people.



    • bucdaddy
      January 25, 2012 10:59 am

      Or when buildings get named for them. Like the building in Fairmont, W.Va., that had Arch Moore’s name removed from it once the former governor went to prison for corruption.



    • unsatisfied
      January 25, 2012 11:56 am

      that’s right. couldn’t the penguins wait another 40-50 years until he dies? I mean, sheesh.



  4. Bram R
    January 24, 2012 4:46 pm

    Who makes statues of themselves? Saddam Hussein, the CEO of Megaupload and new money from Jersey that needs to put something in between their mahble cahlumns, that’s who.



  5. jerry
    January 25, 2012 12:00 am

    will this be Mario’s last erection?