1. My Texan sister Tina Fey, as I call her because she has a wicked sense of humor and used to wear Tina Fey-like glasses until she went and got Lasik like the rich bitch she is (she will protest that in the comments, but I know the truth and that is this: bitch is rich), as you know has a hair blog in which she’s growing out her “hideous” hair (I think it’s cute), and I hinted before she also has a mom blog (DEAR GOD, THE HORROR!), and I’ve held off linking you to that mom blog but I cannot hold off any longer (this sentence will appear in the next Guinness Book of World Records under “Most Unnecessarily Parenthetically Profuse Sentence of All Time”).
“The Pioneer Woman Can Suck It” is the title of the post that has already started to go viral and the name of the blog is My Toddler is a Supervillain, and yes, her toddler might grow up to be a supervillain. He’s evilgenius in a fantastic sort of way when he’s your nephew and not your son.
As your son? He drives you to drink.
2. A local woman is the world’s biggest Barbra Streisand fan with boxes and boxes of memorabilia. She even thinks she looks and sings like Barbra. She also admits she would save her Barbra tchotchke’s first instead of her husband if her house ever caught fire.
“This is my life; Barbra Streisand is my life,” she says.
I am not saying this woman is crazy, but she might have a touch of the cray-cray.
3. Let’s check in on Jim Lokay since he left Pittsburgh for Boston.
Jim, Joey Lawrence called and he would like his whoa! back.
Also, lucky Jim is traveling to Indianapolis to cover the Super Bowl and to hopefully put the stink-eye on Tom Brady, by kicking him in the huevos. That’s called a Mexican Stinkeye. True story.
4. Blossom was a terrific show, yes?
5. While we’re being all retro, except for those of you born in the nineties and aughts (is that right? I’m geriatric, so I could be wrong), check out these blasts from the past I found on Pinterest:
And these. Not just cassettes (used to be a thing, whippersnappers), but Memorex Cassettes onto which I taped (you say ‘burned’ now, whippersnappers) lots of Whitney Houston, Debbie Gibson, New Kids on the Block, and maybe some music from the Coreys.
I’m like half a decade from watching Jeopardy with a bowl of hard tack candy, aren’t I?
6. Pittsburgh’s Milk Truck continues to garner national attention.
My son and I saw the Milk Truck outside of the Children’s Museum last fall.
“What’s that, Mom?”
“The Milk Truck! It’s a place for moms to go and nurse their babies.”
“Oh. The roof looks like a giant boob.”
Probably I should teach him a better word for it. Like breasticle (tm @mindbling).
7. Pittsburgh is the sixth most literate city in the country.
Suck it, Portland.
8. Pittsburgh-filmed “One for the Money” is getting destroyed by reviewers and managed only $11 million in its opening weekend. Star Katherine Heigl studied at the school of Don’t Be Sienna Miller and had only good things to say about our city:
“There is no paparazzi in Pittsburgh. We had no problem with that. It was awesome,” Heigl said.
Heigl also loved the people and Pittsburghese.
“A lot of our crew was local and my driver was local. Just great people. Just grounded, down to Earth people. The accent I think is awesome. I can’t do it,” Heigl said.
Let me help you. Down, dahn. Tire, tahr. Power, pahr. Fire, fahr. Grocery cart, buggy. You, yinz. Mayor, Hizzoner Master Lil Lukey Ray Ray.
10. Okay. Gotta go wait for the Dish Network man. Gonna sit on my porch with a sawed-off shotgun. Just for shits and giggles.