Relics

So, that thermometer over there is inching up bit by bit, and it’s updating live after Woy texted me all, “I MADE THAT THING MY BITCH.”

You think I’m making that up, but I’m completely serious. Thanks for your donations! Keep ‘em coming! I’m greedy like that! MONEY MONEY MONEY FOR SICK KIDS.

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I was hunting through my basement the other day, hoping to stumble upon a treasure of embarrasing pictures of my lustrously mustachioed teenaged self with which to bribe you into donating to kids with cancer, when I found a box of stuff from my college years.

My college years were the four-year period when I went from a slightly chunky, lustrously mustachioed, four-eyed space-obsessed teenager to a less-chunky, less-mustachioed, contact lens wearing, equally space-obsessed young adult. Yeah, it wasn’t until after college that I finally went from ugly duckling to whatever the hell I am now. Less ugly ducking. Ish. Now with all new gray hair!

So! Look what I found! And yes, I took 47 pictures of this shit. Like a boss.

1. I saved the souvenir edition of the Post-Gazette when the Penguins won the cup in 1992:

026

029

028

Hi, Mario. Will you marry me?

2. I found Jim Leyland’s manager card from sixty billion years ago, the last time the Pirates contended for anything other than being sucking losing losers (THIS IS THE YEAR!!!!!!!):

023

003

Oh, Doug Drabek. Were that my mustache were as luxurious as his. SILKY SMOOTH.

3. I found some of my space stuff that I kept on my desk in college, to remind myself to “REACH FOR THE STARS.” [single tear].

019

002

The words you are looking for are “giant mustachioed dorkgirl.”

4. And I found the senior picture of my date for my junior prom! But I can’t show you his face because you have to donate the $10,000 to see the two of us on the Gateway Clipper circa 1991.

030

Trust me. It’s SILKY SMOOTH!





9 Comments

  1. bucdaddy
    February 7, 2012 11:15 am

    Gray hair is seriously sexy. That’s what all the women tell me.



  2. Butcher's Dog
    February 7, 2012 11:21 am

    No woman uses the words “seriously sexy” in anything directed toward me and about me. It’s apparent that all those conversations take place behind my back.

    But Ginny…brains, wit, and passion for a cause are always seriously sexy. So you score big in all three categories.



  3. Joe K.
    February 7, 2012 12:16 pm

    That Pirates lineup on the baseball card is seriously sexy. So many solid players up and down the lineup. Sigh.



    • LeeInIrwin
      February 7, 2012 1:35 pm

      I believe they were called The Killer Bee’s (B’s?) back then…..it’s been so long since any nickname or slogan was applied to the Pirates…I guess that only happens in good (winning) times….



  4. JMetheny
    February 7, 2012 1:45 pm

    Still remember taking the tour of B&W steelmill in Beaver Falls in honor of the Apollo moon landing..complete with cool little keychain.Been stargazing ever since.



  5. bluzdude
    February 7, 2012 4:20 pm

    Gah! Sid Bream on the back of the card! [commencing involuntary spasms and facial tics]



  6. Pensgirl
    February 7, 2012 4:23 pm

    John Smiley! I always laugh when I’m reminded of him because of a game my family attended where we sat by the bullpen, and some guy stood in the walkway above it yelling down “Hey Smiley…Smiley! You suck!…Smiley!…You stink! You hear me Smiley, you really suck!” for what felt like days before pitching (pun intended) out this gem: “Give me your autograph!”

    I think that’s the moment it hit me that not only were my parents right – people are stupid – but that they might have been understating how stupid.



  7. KKinLA
    February 7, 2012 5:29 pm

    Bluzdude – I love that every ‘Burgher remembers that fateful series against Atlanta – damn you, Sid Bream! I had actually forgotten that he was a Pirate for a time. But Andy Van Slyke was totally dreamy…



  8. Guido
    February 8, 2012 12:13 pm

    I still remember some of the nicknames – Jose “Chico” Lind (like only Fedko could say), “Spanky” LaValliere, and the aforementioned “Killer Bs.” I think that was the last time I could actually name off the starting lineup from memory. Be damned nice if these guys could get it together this season!!




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