Brace him.

The Pirates are reportedly close to a deal to bring Yankee pitcher A.J. Burnett to the team and the news media is acting like we’ll hit the lottery if we snag him. But I’m not so sure yet.

He does have a long list of accomplishments, including pitching a complete game no-hitter, but that was in 2001.

He led the National League in shutouts, but that was in 2002.

He’s pitched in the World Series, broke several records, and once struck out 14 batters in six innings.


But I worry!

[wrings hands]

He does NOT LIKE TO LOSE. I mean he REALLY hates it, as he said this after losing six in a row.

“We played scared. We managed scared. We coached scared,” he told reporters following the Marlins’ 5–3 loss at Turner Field. “I’m sick of it, man. It’s depressing around here. A 3–0 ballgame, I give up one run and leave guys on base, it’s like they expect us to mess up. And when we do, they chew us out. There is no positive, nothing around here for anybody.”

He was asked to leave the team after that, and did eventually apologize, but STILL.

He likes winning, six losses in a row sent him postal, and he doesn’t like to be in a depressing clubhouse. I’m pretty sure that each August, the Pirates clubhouse is so far gone that not even a truckload of hookers and blow could put a smile on its face.

Hell, I’ve driven the bandwagon through there and we went in partying and hollering and the wenches were drunk and baudy and the gents were singing songs of hope and boobs, and the margaritas were flowing and joy was to be found. We came out the other side with two lame horses, shards of rose-colored glass littering the floor, the wenches wrapped in blankets and weeping, the distraught men contemplating a tuck and roll directly into the mouth of the tunnel monster, and me, the driver, holding a match to a can of gasoline while beating a hasty path to the banks of the Mon.

I’m cool with A.J. being a Pirate, just so long as someone makes real sure he knows what he’s getting himself into here.

Questionable management, major, major suck, and a late-summer clubhouse so depressing Pollyanna would walk out of there suicidal.



  1. bucdaddy
    February 15, 2012 2:17 pm

    If he keeps Kevin Correia from making a single start, we’ve won.

  2. Leslie in Dayton
    February 15, 2012 2:18 pm

    I don’t think he’d be a good addition. From what I know, he is very inconsistent…that’s why the Yankees are looking to trade him. He is not all that.

    God, I miss football.

    • Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
      February 15, 2012 3:03 pm

      The Yankees are looking for a left handed DH and they have a ton of other pitching so that Burnett’s $33 million salary over the next two seasons isn’t something they want to carry. They’re also looking to get under the limit for MLB’s luxury tax so that when they exceed it again in the future, they’ll be consisdered first time offenders and not have to pay 50% on the amount over the limit. Burnett just wants to play baseball and other than ten teams, he’s not real particular about where that is.

    • unsatisfied
      February 15, 2012 3:09 pm

      he might suck…but, the amount of strikeouts and innings pitched that he had last season would have led the pirates.

      on our way to 20!!!

  3. Monty
    February 15, 2012 2:46 pm

    As a current NY resident and avid Yankee hater, it was a pleasure seeing him follow in the Pinstriped footsteps of Carl Pavano, Jaret Wright, Kenny Rogers and Hideki Irabu.

  4. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    February 15, 2012 3:00 pm

    I’m fine with this, but I gave up long ago caring what management/ownership does regarding the team composition. I can’t control it. I’m going to cheer for the Pirates no matter what because I love baseball and they’re my hometown team. Burnett’s stats in NY don’t worry me. Yankee Stadium has a really short right field. He can work a lot of innings, probably get 10-12 wins, AND, the Pirates aren’t one of the ten teams that he can veto a trade to so he isn’t appalled by the thought of having to be in Pittsburgh like apparently oh so many other players.

  5. Julia
    February 15, 2012 3:34 pm

    I just watched Moneyball not too long ago, and it was a story about a dumpy little major league team with no budget to hire players or keep them after they got good. So they started this new concept that brought in the unlikeliest of players, players whose careers had come and gone, who were thought of as second best. But after watching that movie, I am a little embarassed to say that I am actually a little excited for baseball season here in Pittsburgh this year! It could be the year, who knows?! lol

  6. Craig
    February 15, 2012 6:47 pm

    Great clips from Channel 4, I still love “KDKA, the Pirates are what we’re all about” from the late 70’s.

  7. Butcher's Dog
    February 15, 2012 7:20 pm

    Major, MAJOR authorial props to Virginia for putting “hookers” and “blow” in the same sentence and not working “job” in there somewhere. Such discipline is rare in these times of loose morality.

  8. Sam's Dog
    February 15, 2012 7:54 pm

    ” Truckload of hookers” – another good band name…..

  9. Trish
    February 15, 2012 10:26 pm

    As a Yankees fan who has watched Burnett’s starts during his tenure with the team mostly through my fingers, I warn Pirates fans to get used to schizophrenia. Good AJ is pretty damn good. Bad AJ, to paraphrase Bill Simmons, falls apart like a leper. He is not a pitcher who can have a bad inning and bounce back. You’ve been warned.

  10. TripleC
    February 16, 2012 10:24 am

    Difference is that when you go to the Yankees you expect to win, and therefore become upset when you don’t. Here, players come knowing they are not going to win so there are zero expections which means you can’t become upset….basically just happy to cash what amounts to a stress-free paycheck.

    • Just a Simple Man
      February 16, 2012 2:21 pm

      Yes but the tirade Ms. V posted was from his Florida Marlin days…. stay tuned

      • Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
        February 16, 2012 6:01 pm

        The tirade also took place during the 2005 season. I like to think that people have the ability change over a period of six years.

  11. Dr Kevlar
    February 17, 2012 6:45 am

    Yeah, he’s changed alright. He has gotten older, closer to retirement and is probably going to hurt himself after beating his agent to a pulp for not including Pittsburgh on his no-trade list….