Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot, GHOSTS

I say I don’t believe in the paranormal because deep down I believe in it a little bit and it scares the bejeezus out of me.

I mean, I don’t believe in Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster or the Chupacabra or the Blair Witch or 99.9% of “psychics” or the Tunnel Monster, but ghosts and demons … [shudder].

UFOs? I say I don’t believe in them, but that didn’t stop me from freaking myself out as I ran jog-walked laps one night on a deserted track in the middle of Texas while I was at college. The night was clear. Crisp for March. Stars so bright I could see them beyond the dimmed track lights. Surrounded by nothing but trees and a few campus buildings down the way. And I thought, man, if an alien were thinking of abducting me, this is the PERFECT moment to do it. And I immediately left the track and ran posthaste, POSTHASTE, back to my dorm.

[shudder]

Randy Baumann told me a story about ghosts that gave me shivers like you would not believe, and I once went on a date with a minister’s son who told me a FREAKY story about a demon his dad evicted from a house, and I still haven’t seen The Exorcist because I’m afraid a demon will come out of my TV and go all Paranormal Activity on my butt.

The local haunted house that goes up for sale every two years after the previous owners run screaming out of it like bats out of hades, has sold once again, and when I pointed the sale out to my husband, he whispered in his spookiest whisper, “I bouuuuught iiiiiit. Mwah-hahah.” Jerkface.

Why am I telling you this other than I like to make everything about ME? MEMEMEME? Let’s talk about meeeeEEEEeeee.

Because this summer is the first ever STEEL CITY PARACON as produced by our fantastic friends at the Scarehouse! Three days of sessions and events and meet and greets and drinks and not one single tinfoil hat because this is legit all up in the legitimacy as it features the stars of SyFy’s Ghost Hunters series! That’s right! Whiskey, Tango, and Foxtrot … wait … I mean Tango, Steve, Amy and Adam from the series!

There will be sessions with other paranormal bigwigs including John Tenney of A&E’s Paranormal State. Even our very own Sean Collier is involved!

Now, why Pittsburgh? I’m so glad you asked. Because in addition to being adjacent to the portal to hell (AKA Fayette County), we have lots of cool connections to the paranormal, for instance, we’re going to play a big role in the 2012 Mayan apocalyptic event, apparently, thanks to our fourth river, and we’re home to the one-time most haunted house in America! Actual quote:

“Dr. Brunrichter had been experimenting with severed heads.”

There are only 200 slots for the three-day conference, so you have to get tickets before they go.  And because I love you, you can use the code TANGO to get $50 off your ticket!

I’m excited! This could grow every year and before you know it, the Paracon is bigger than the Anthrocon and Pittsburgh will officially win the Quirkiest City award!

Go check out the con here to learn all about the event!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see if they need me to host a session called, “So You’re a Paranormal Sissy: How to stop running posthaste and face your fears.”

I wonder if posthaste means what I think it means.

(Not a sponsored post!)





11 Comments

  1. Butcher's Dog
    February 17, 2012 10:21 am

    I helped do some readings (from literature) this past Halloween at a “haunted house” in my hometown. Had a local paranormal group there taking “scientific readings” with tech-y looking devices. “Found” all kinds of stuff. Somehow, the stuff they found all fit nicely with the “history” of the place, the veracity of which I’m skeptical.

    So here’s my take: I don’t really believe in supernatural. I believe in theatre, in the ability of talented people to make you think, for a little while, that you’re someplace you’re not, that you’re seeing something you’re not. If the convention pumps money into the region, fine. I just don’t expect it to produce much in the way of the supernatural.

    UFOs, however, could very well be us from the future. Because if there’s ever such a thing as time travel, then they’re here now. Probably wouldn’t be the first place they’d come, but they’d get here eventually and that means they’d always been here. Just my two cents worth on that issue.



    • bucdaddy
      February 17, 2012 11:15 am

      I’m kind of with you here. My belief in a God (and therefore, most anything supernatural) is fading in the face of too many kids with leukemia and too many faithful old people with Alzheimer’s. But I hold out an ever-so-slight hope for the aliens, because I’m convinced I saw a flying saucer when I was a kid. In broad daylight, no less. Flying over my backyard and into the distance, disappearing behind a cloud. I wonder if I dreamed it, but I like to think I didn’t.



  2. Janelle
    February 17, 2012 11:23 am

    I’ve always been really into supernatural things. I claimed to have seen my grandmother’s ghost when I was a toddler, but I have no memory of this.

    At any rate, Fayette County being a portal to hell is pretty accurate–there’s a haunted site called “The Gates of Hell” (http://www.strangeusa.com/Viewlocation.aspx?id=56762).



  3. Moxie Bestos
    February 17, 2012 11:54 am

    Constant paranormal activity, along with Gates of Hell, are in Gambier. Ohio. If the Ghost Hunters haven’t been there, then I won’t believe a word they say when they come here. That being said, someone will have to tell me what they say about Gambier, Fayette County, and Pittsburgh in general, because I could cohost the Sissy presentation.



  4. Peg
    February 17, 2012 12:49 pm

    One niece to her sister, “We’re going to see John Edwards.”

    Sister, “Oh.”

    Niece, “I thought you’d be more excited.”

    Sister, “We’re Republicans.”



    • Silica
      February 17, 2012 1:24 pm

      Nice!

      When I was a teenager, I used to think they were the same person (in my defense, I wasn’t old enough to vote and by the time I was I had figured it out, thank you very much), and I was surprised that someone who engaged in that kind of activity had any kind of credibility. Of course, now I realize that smoke, mirrors, and other kinds of trickery are pretty much required skills for anyone in politics. ;)



      • Cassie
        February 17, 2012 3:16 pm

        ME TOO! I thought it was the same dude. Then I was like, um, what’s with all the dead people talk? Is that what’s hot in politics these days?



  5. justine
    February 17, 2012 1:28 pm

    Loved the article along with posthaste! Not used enough



  6. rjq
    February 17, 2012 2:59 pm

    I LOL IRL at this:

    in addition to being adjacent to the portal to hell (AKA Fayette County),



  7. hello haha narf
    February 17, 2012 3:51 pm

    i’m a chicken shit as well when it comes to this kinda stuff.
    let’s drown our fears in tequila…



  8. James Foreman
    February 19, 2012 2:54 pm

    Telling that the “ghost hunters,” who have never actually found a ghost, have a show on a channel that dedicates itself to science fiction.