My hug wish list

This is not satire. This is not a fake news story. This is not The Onion. This is REAL:

Pittsburgh, the World’s Most Huggable City

The City of Pittsburgh has  been voted the most liveable (sic) city, the top ten Best in the World for tourism among many awards  and now PositivelyPittsburghLiveMagzine.com (sic) and Pittsburgh City Council have teamed up to prove that Pittsburgh is the Most Loveable, Most Huggable City!  Using the model of the international phenomenon of the “Free Hug Campaign” PPLMag.com plans to create a spectacular event on September 6, 2012 with preview events leading up to it.   The goal is to create an event that brings attention and prominence to “Pittsburgh’s best asset, the friendliness of its citizens.”

What’s Happening When and Where!

  • February 14th Proclamation declaring September 6th as Hug-A-Thon Pittsburgh Day.  There will also be a group hug with City Council Members.
  • Hug Ambassador Events are open auditions to be huggers at the Hug-A-Thon Events of September 6th.
  • Hug Ambassador Auditions will be held in the City Council Districts of Darlene Harris, William Peduto, and Theresa Smith.
  • Hug Auditions scheduled during the months of March, May, July and August
  • Hug Ambassador Categories will include, but aren’t limited to: Best Granny Hugger, Best EMS Hugger, Best Sports Hugger, Best Entertainment and Media Hugger
The Hug Ambassador Event Winners will be determined by Facebook contributions and donations raised at the event for four area charities.  Hug Auditions are scheduled during the months of March, May, July and August.  These will be preview events to the September 6,  Hug-A-Thon Pittsburgh™
September 6, 2012 Outdoor Hug-A-Thon Pittsburgh Event and Gala

  • The outdoor event will be held in five locations in downtown Pittsburgh.  These Hug locations are the City County Building, Market Square, Katz Plaza, underneath Macy’s Clock, and the Wyndham Grand Pittsburgh Downtown.
  • Times to get a “free” hug and make your optional donations:  2:30 PM to 5:30 PM at these locations
  • There will be signage and entertainment to draw attention to the Huggers.
  • The hugs will be free.  Donations will be accepted and the donations will benefit four local charities.
  • The Presenting Sponsor is Wyndham Grand Downtown and the first official Hug-A-Thon Pittsburgh Gala will be held in the Wyndham Grand Ballroom. Celebrity Hug Stations will be set up around the room.  Celebrities will include local sports figures, media personalities, and entertainers. Local musical and variety entertainment has been engaged for both the lobby of the Wyndham Grand Pittsburgh Downtown and the ballroom from 5:30 PM to 8:30 PM.

“I am proud to be a part of this great campaign and to show how much Pittsburgh cares about its local charities.  Pittsburgh is hands-down the World’s Most Lovable City!” Bill Peduto.

Thoughts:

1. I can find the minutes to the meeting, but I cannot find any pictures of the February 14th City Council group hug session! THIS IS A FIRST-WORLD TRAVESTY! What if there is a picture of Lukey hugging Bill Peduto?!

2. I’m happy it’s for charity because otherwise this would be the most ridiculous thing since Gus the Groundhog’s birth.

3. How does one judge a hug audition? Too much squeeze? Limp squeeze? Too much breast pressure? Not enough breast pressure? Too handsy? Not handsy enough? Too much butt grabbage? Would it be like American Idol auditions? “I’ve had five-week old lettuce firmer than your hugs.” Would it be like Dirty Dancing with Johnny? “Look at your arms — Spaghetti arms. You gotta hold your frame.”

4. I miss Patrick Swayze.

5. This event is BurghBaby‘s worst nightmare. That girl HATES hugs.

6. My celebrity wish list for hugs … David Conrad, Mike Wallace, Randy Baumann, Jim Krenn, Daniel Sepulveda, AJ Burnett, Wendy Bell, Sally Wiggin, Matt Lamanna, Mike Tomlin, DAN BYLSMA, DAN BYLSMA, DAN BYLSMA, Sexhair, Sexgoal, Gina Cerilli, Elena LaQuatra, Patrick Jordan, Mario, Fort McKenry, Troysus and DAN BYLSMA.

What? Tell me you don’t believe Dan Bylsma would give the best hugs ever.

We won’t know until we try. To grab his butt.

(h/t Summer)





22 Comments

  1. facie
    February 24, 2012 10:11 am

    I wrote the hug-a-thon in my calendar. I think the event will be hilarious. And I am considering trying out. I would surely be voted Best Awkward Hugger. With your connections, can you please see if you can get a category for that?!



  2. Chris
    February 24, 2012 10:24 am

    There definitely needs to be Best Drunk Hug.



  3. ScareHouse Scott
    February 24, 2012 11:14 am

    “Hi there, I’m a Hug Ambassador and I’m holding auditions for our upcoming charity event …”



  4. Aileen
    February 24, 2012 12:27 pm

    Just keep Steely McBeam off the hug list He’s scary.



  5. Christina
    February 24, 2012 12:45 pm

    OMG … I am laughing so so so hard.

    This is definitely the script to Burghbaby’s worst nightmare. Alone the hilarious mass use of the word “Hug” in the event description should be enough to make her really sick.

    Very nice hug-wish-list, Ginny, but the thing with Dan (great bad ass coach pic!) cracked me up. I am still laughing tears.



  6. Christina
    February 24, 2012 12:48 pm

    On a more serious note:

    There is a good chance that neither Daniel Sepuvelda nor Mike Wallace will be still in Pittsburgh by September 6 *sniff*

    The girl in me want both to stay – The Steelers fan at least #17. PLEASE!



  7. Pensgirl
    February 24, 2012 1:35 pm

    You better step off Mike Wallace. I self-united to him when he was a rookie. All the hugs are belong to me!

    I would hug every Penguin (not after a game though!), but to refrain from greediness I’ll just pick one – Marc-Andre Fleury. I pretty much want to hug him every time I watch a video of him anyway (especially the ones where he taunts the rest of the team during shootout drills).

    Also, I have a question. If I hug you, am I also hugging Ken Rice (and vice versa)?



  8. Leigh
    February 24, 2012 1:49 pm

    I always thought Dan Bylsma was pretty, hot, but holy hottness (and bad assness – is that word? – one word or two?) in the picture you posted Ginny. Thanks! I’ll give him a hug anytime, win or lose a game.



    • Leigh
      February 24, 2012 1:50 pm

      Oops! A misplaced comma can ruin everything. No comma needed after the word pretty above. I don’t think he is pretty, just hot!



  9. Bethany
    February 24, 2012 2:23 pm

    This post brought many LOLs… thank you! :D

    I have to agree with you about Dan Bylsma. It would be awesome to get a hug from him. I don’t know how he is at hugging, but I was fortunate enough to meet him at a signing and I can tell you he has a nice, firm handshake and couldn’t be nicer and more personable if he tried.



  10. Butcher's Dog
    February 24, 2012 2:25 pm

    I can only assume that spoon, bucdaddy, and yours truly got left off the celebrity hug wish list because our celebrities aren’t bright enough, not because we’re not considered huggable enough.



  11. hello haha narf
    February 24, 2012 2:26 pm

    allegedly i give great hugs. it is the boobs.

    i totally wanna give tomlin an ass grabbin hug. i bet his ass grabbin hugs are the best.



  12. LisaB
    February 25, 2012 3:57 pm

    That Disco Dan photo is so hot. I am all about hugging him…and Mike Tomlin…and you bet I’d be ass grabbin’ both of ‘em. Yes, I am a dirty old woman.



  13. Laura
    March 2, 2012 7:06 am

    Troysus is mine, lol!