Oh. My. Back.

Would you look at these?!

ARE YOU LOOKING AT THAT?!

5 1/4-inch suede Steelers heels that are so popular you can only by them on pre-order for $100.

My thoughts:

1. WHO ARE ALL THE WOMEN ORDERING THESE THINGS AND UNDER WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES WOULD YOU WEAR THEM AND NOT LOOK RIDICULOUS, AND IS JEFF REED INVOLVED IN ANY OF THEM?!

2. I would say that 50% of the time these shoes are worn, a thong will be visible. I’ll need to do research to confirm my hypothesis. Where can I get me a grant for that? I’ll call it, “How the heel-height of and skankiness quotient of suede Steelers-branded pumps directly correlate to the likelihood of intentionally visible floss-like underwear: A White Paper.”

3. *I can’t walk in heels higher than four inches. In fact, four inches is when I start walking like my knees don’t work. 4 1/2 inches is when I start walking like a drunk platypus in 4 1/2-inch heels. I imagine 5 inches is when my back gives out, my knees lock, and then this would happen.

YouTube Preview Image

4. Here’s one outfit I can see those shoes with:

That girl would totally rock those shoes to the fullest of their rocking potential.

*There are so many “that’s what she said” jokes in there it’s not even funny.

(h/t @lls_1219)





24 Comments

  1. StacyfrPgh
    February 24, 2012 4:34 pm

    Saw these on Pintrest and immediately thought, “Hittsburgh!”



  2. Lizzie
    February 24, 2012 4:56 pm

    Sadly, these get a lot less awesome/hilarious when you read this: http://www.herstar.com/blogs/news/5602932-why-men-love-sports-and-women-love-shoes

    Ick.



    • Holly
      March 6, 2012 11:32 pm

      Sorry you feel that way Liz, we hoped that our readers would be lighthearted and have a sense of humor when it came to this article :)



  3. inBrookline
    February 24, 2012 5:00 pm

    I can easily imagine some Black n Gold Groupie wearing these to the stadium in December.



  4. Monty
    February 24, 2012 5:04 pm

    I could watch that model in the video do the newborn giraffe thing a thousand times and not get tired of it.



    • PA Girl in VA
      February 26, 2012 2:58 pm

      I just watched it no less than 4 times and only turned it off because the timer on the stove went off :) The 2nd time is the best – she tried her DAMNDEST to stay upright!



  5. Deb
    February 24, 2012 6:48 pm

    The video was HILARIOUS…thanks for sharing! The shoes…not so much!



  6. rickh
    February 24, 2012 8:41 pm

    I assume the wearer of these shoes will be whipping shitties around a brass pole in McKees Rocks.



  7. Bojack
    February 24, 2012 10:00 pm

    HAWT!!

    Can’t wait to see the cross-dressers sportin’ em!



  8. empirechick
    February 25, 2012 9:28 pm

    And here I thought Scott, with his generally optimistic and sunshiny attitude, was Bojack… I guess he (Scott) is just cranky.



  9. Bitter
    February 25, 2012 11:29 pm

    I, too, immediately thought, “I rock my Hittsburgh gear to the fullest,” upon seeing these on Pinterest.



  10. Bojack
    February 26, 2012 12:50 pm

    Feelin’ the love! haha

    Enjoying the clime and striped bass in eastern NC!

    No meds here my pretties!



  11. PA Girl in VA
    February 26, 2012 3:00 pm

    Oopsie – you get the following message when you click on the link to the shoes:

    NFL SHOES WILL RETURN
    IF YOU WANT TO SEE ALL THE NFL TEAMS IN OUR COLLECTION? PLEASE EMAIL WEWANT@HERSTAR.COM TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT IN EXPEDITING THE LICENSE.

    CURRENTLY LICENSING IS PENDING FOR NFL SHOES & PRODUCTS-THEY WILL RETURN WHEN LICENSING IS APPROVED.IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS CONTACT HOLLY@HERSTAR.COM



  12. Beth
    February 26, 2012 8:50 pm

    I would totally wear those and I’m not a stripper, nor do I find Jeff Reed (or his behavior) attractive. In fact, I saw the Packers ones on Pinterest and I wondered if these were available. I wouldn’t wear them to a game, though. That’s just silly. And I certainly woudn’t pay $100 for them.



  13. Julie
    February 27, 2012 1:04 am

    Seriously….that video makes me giggle furiously!! Every time she starts to hobble I get silly!! And the first thing I thought of when I saw the shoes also was “Hittsburgh!”



  14. NicoleinTallahassee
    February 27, 2012 7:26 am

    I think the shoes are super cute and agree with what Beth said above. They are WAY too high for me to be able to wear (can’t wear anything higher than a 3 inch heel), but I would NEVER wear them to a game … maybe to work for Steeler Fridays! :)



  15. bucdaddy
    February 27, 2012 11:07 am

    Bravo, ladies! Wear those sky-high heels! Nothing says “HAWT” like hammertoe!



  16. Bram R
    February 27, 2012 7:42 pm

    Clearly indicated for drag.



  17. Vivian
    February 28, 2012 12:34 pm

    Eh-hem…Uh…(raises hand slowly)…I would wear them.



  18. Lauryn
    March 1, 2012 1:04 pm

    Here is our local news anchor laughing hysterically at the model. This is one of my favorite youtube clips ever: http://youtu.be/_0eINGyJHz8




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