As you’ve heard, it was revealed yesterday that Pirates President Frank Coonelly was arrested in December near Christmas time for drunk driving, driving with a suspended license, careless driving, and driving the wrong way, which is how you drive when your blood alcohol content is .16.

TWICE the legal limit. You’d have to drink about FOUR double on the rocks in an HOUR to get that kind of BAC.

The driving with a suspended license charge was dropped, but he’s still on the hook for all the other stuff and has issued a lengthy apology for his actions.

My actions that evening were irresponsible and wrong,” Coonelly said in a statement. “I take full and sole responsibility for them. There is no excuse for ever driving under the influence of alcohol. My wife and I have preached to our children about the dangers of driving while under the influence of alcohol, not only for themselves but for the innocent drivers, passengers and pedestrians on the road.”

Now, drunk driving is no joke, but the Pirates are a 20-year joke and therefore THERE ARE JOKES.

I’m going to hell for laughing at Randy’s tweet. No, I’m going to hell for STARRING Randy’s tweet.

Also, Pirate’s Flagship radio The Fan 93.7 was at first prohibited from speaking of the arrest, but that changed and Mark Madden will have you know that it was all because of him, but Deadspin is also taking a bit of credit.

Does anyone know the zip code to Mark Madden’s ego, because I have a flaming bag of poo I need to mail.

P.S. Also, an update on the Hines Ward DUI arrest.

P.P.S. As the 1992 recording secretary of Norwin High School’s SADD club, I would like to remind you to NOT DRINK AND DRIVE, JAGOFFS.


  1. T
    February 24, 2012 11:24 am

    I like to listen to Mark Madden for his sports commentary, but usually am so disgusted with his attitude and the way he speaks to callers that I end up changing the station. He needs a reality check.

    • bucdaddy
      February 24, 2012 12:02 pm

      Maybe somebody who listens to a radio “personality” he knows is usually going to disgust him needs a different hobby.

      • T
        February 24, 2012 12:27 pm

        Rude much? I listen to local radio on the way into work.

        • bucdaddy
          February 24, 2012 1:16 pm

          Nothing rude about it. Just wondering why people listen to assholes they know are assholes and then complain that they’re assholes. (I said the same thing earlier this week to a friend of mine who made the identical complaint about the same “personality,” so don’t flatter yourself that I’m just picking on you.) I’d ask the same thing if you said you keep eating tamales but the damn things give you heartburn. Actually, I guess there’s something you can take for that. There’s a cure for Maddenburn too: Change the station or turn off the radio.

  2. bucdaddy
    February 24, 2012 12:01 pm

    I’d have had a little more respect for Frank if he’d owned up to this two months ago. But then, much of what happens with the Pirates, it seems somebody has to drag it out of them months after the fact. On a side note: Good job by the newspapers and other alleged reporters (I’m looking at you, Action Faction News). I mean, doesn’t anybody routinely check police reports for notable names? It’s not like the guy’s name is Frank Smith.

    • bucdaddy
      February 24, 2012 1:12 pm

      I’d also have had more respect for him if he’d said, “In addition, I have written a check for $10,000 out of my personal account which I am giving to the family of St. Michael Todd May, the Monongalia County sheriff’s deputy killed in the line of duty while trying to stop a drunken driver on I-79 last weekend, and I will take Friday away from the team to attend his funeral in Morgantown and his burial in Waynesburg. And I will write a $10,000 check to the family each of the next 10 years as well. It could easily have been me who plowed into a patrol car and murdered a police officer. I can only hope this just begins to make amends for my behavior.”

      • Butcher's Dog
        February 24, 2012 3:25 pm

        Once again bucdaddy tells it like it is. Just one of the reasons I respect what he posts so much. Be safe this weekend, everyone.

  3. AngryMongo
    February 24, 2012 12:59 pm

    Careful, Ginny. Double M is liable to tell you to get back in the kitchen.

  4. JMetheny
    February 24, 2012 1:13 pm

    Par for the course.Pirates have been driving the wrong way for two decades and unfortunately there are no u-turns in sight.

  5. spoon
    February 24, 2012 2:05 pm

    Frank gets a DUI and the Pirates strike a deal with Budweiser to stick a new bar in the park.

    I guess old, tired and tasteless is the slogan for this season.

  6. ClumberKim
    February 24, 2012 2:49 pm

    Not to beat a dead horse (much) but the best tweets used #jerrymealssaiditssafe