As you’ve heard, it was revealed yesterday that Pirates President Frank Coonelly was arrested in December near Christmas time for drunk driving, driving with a suspended license, careless driving, and driving the wrong way, which is how you drive when your blood alcohol content is .16.
TWICE the legal limit. You’d have to drink about FOUR double on the rocks in an HOUR to get that kind of BAC.
The driving with a suspended license charge was dropped, but he’s still on the hook for all the other stuff and has issued a lengthy apology for his actions.
“My actions that evening were irresponsible and wrong,” Coonelly said in a statement. “I take full and sole responsibility for them. There is no excuse for ever driving under the influence of alcohol. My wife and I have preached to our children about the dangers of driving while under the influence of alcohol, not only for themselves but for the innocent drivers, passengers and pedestrians on the road.”
Now, drunk driving is no joke, but the Pirates are a 20-year joke and therefore THERE ARE JOKES.
I’m going to hell for laughing at Randy’s tweet. No, I’m going to hell for STARRING Randy’s tweet.
Also, Pirate’s Flagship radio The Fan 93.7 was at first prohibited from speaking of the arrest, but that changed and Mark Madden will have you know that it was all because of him, but Deadspin is also taking a bit of credit.
Does anyone know the zip code to Mark Madden’s ego, because I have a flaming bag of poo I need to mail.
P.S. Also, an update on the Hines Ward DUI arrest.
P.P.S. As the 1992 recording secretary of Norwin High School’s SADD club, I would like to remind you to NOT DRINK AND DRIVE, JAGOFFS.