1. How do you know when it’s time you need new hearing aids? When this conversation happens:
Me: The kiddo wants to put song #19 from that 80’s CD you have in the car onto his Kindle Fire. Who sings that? It sounds like they’re saying “more than a feeling?”
Him: That would be a song by Boston, but that’s not on that CD.
Me: Hmm. It sounds like maybe U2 is singing it?
[I stick the CD in the computer and we listen to #19. Ten seconds after the music starts up …:]
Him: [falls down laughing]
Him: That’s “Maria” by BLONDIE.
2. The tour guide may have mentioned this on my tour of Clayton, but on account of I thought Blondie was U2, I may have not heard it.
Thank goodness for them, a sprained ankle used to require hospitalization.
3. During WWII, Americans attempted pigeon-guided missiles.
I DIDN’T JUST MAKE THAT SHIT UP.
4. The greatest stress ball in the history of stress balls.
At least I think it’s a stress ball.
We won’t know until I beat the crap out of it.
Someone buy that for me.
“Where the world thinks I live. Where my parents think I live. Where suburbanites think I live. Where I live.”
6. If you haven’t yet bought your Monster Haiku book benefiting the March of Dimes, please do so!
It is illustrated by the beautiful Rachel Sager (who designed my logo and web banner AND the Make Room for Kids logo). The haikus (hiaki? haikues? cyoo-pons?) were written by the brilliant Will Rutherford, who you remember I guest-haikued for once. Yes, I suck at haikuing.
There are also posters, cards, and original art up for grabs!
I can’t wait to read the book to my kids. I’ll be all, “An owl will never stop … trying to end you. [blink] MWAH-HAHAH!”
Best mom ever.
7. There will be 47 new pictures tomorrow. Just preparing you.
8. Further proof that Pittsburgh is the new Hollywood.
Suck it, Portland.
9. Once a week the Post-Gazette sends me an email reminding me of my PG+ (pronounced BeeeeooooBOOOP in R2-D2ish) subscription.
“Don’t forget about your PG+ subscription!” the email says.
“Don’t forget I cancelled that two years ago!” I say.