So Lukey threw out the first pitch of the first scrimmage game of the 2012 season, likely cursing us like we haven’t seen that time Marc Andre Fleury tripped into the ice rink and cursed our run at a Stanley Cup in 2008.
Like we haven’t seen since Jerry Meals said it was safe.
Like we haven’t seen since Sid Bream [crosses self, throws salt, and kicks a black cat].
Adding to Lukey throwing the first pitch is the news that AJ Burnett is out for the next two to three months [vomits violently].
But things are changing. The tides are turning. This stinking, putrid, battle-maimed ship of scurvy and suck is afloat and heading in the vicinity of the right direction, as in if the “right direction” is east, we are heading south south east, which is better than west.
The Pirates and star center fielder Andrew McCutchen agreed to terms on a six-year contract worth $51.5 million with a club option for 2018 worth $14.75 million, according to a source.
The Pittsburgh Pirates actually spent money to keep a good player, our best player, whereas five years ago, they would have sold Andrew to the Yankees for a pack of Cracker Jacks and then re-signed Pedro Alvarez to a 15-year deal. I mean, The Stupid was that abject — like management took turns beating each other with Stupid Sticks while popping Stupid Pills and drinking Greed Juice.
I’m in a weird writing mood. I blame the snow.
ANYWAY, my point, as always … THIS IS THE YEAR!