I have never asked anything of you, unlike my sister Pens Fan who has asked all of the following of you:
- shirtless pictures
But I’m asking you this: Now that you’re cleared for contact, and you could return to the lineup in a “matter of days,” which sounds suspiciously LIKE A TIMETABLE FOR YOUR RETURN, can you please, please, please come back on March 11, because that’s when I’ll be at the game. Granted, Zdeno Chara can concuss people just by looking at them, but still!
If you do come back that game, I will probably not stop screaming from the moment your blade touches the ice until the first intermission, and even then it will just be so I can go and change my tears-of-joy soaked shirt.
I will be the girl in the crowd looking something like this:
My sister Pens Fan will be with me. She’ll look something like this:
Have an ambulance ready for her.