Oh, hello there! I’m Woy – Ginny’s butler and caretaker of all things technical here on That’s Church.
In the spirit of her blog, and also because I tried a couple versions of different posts and they all sucked, I’ve decided to do a Random n’ At – Woy edition.
1. Long before I was Ginny’s digital butler and shepherded her through the wilderness of being anonymous, I was a bit of a dork. (WAS? There. I did that for you.) Quite a bit of a dork, actually. Maybe that’s why Gin and I hit it off so easily – kindred dork spirits. Dorkrits? Yeah, sure. That works.
Since she’s published so many photos of herself during those years, all celebrating those awkward years and for a good cause, I felt like I should share one of my own.
Behold – exhibit A:
I mean, look at this f-ing kid. Let’s start with the jacket. THE JACKET. My mother (God rest her soul) must have located the Legendary Lost Closet of Polyester. Or found some unwitting drapes to carve up into something resembling a blazer. Combined with the turtleneck, someone could easily design a Leisure Suit Larry – Toddler Edition game around me.
Oh, man. The haircut. First, let me just say I wish my hair was that same Village of the Damned color. There’s now less of it and a different color. All I can think of when I see my haircut is Prince Valium from Spaceballs.
Granted, I’m no Jim J. Bullock. Who is though, really?
Let’s not forget about the smile. Am I slightly amused at the photographer or am I thinking about how I’m going to cut somebody? Knock over a casino? Or get back to playing with my digital calculator. Yeah, that was among my favorite toys when I was a kid.
2. I have a couple stories that I can share related to Ginny that would make good blog material. One quick anecdote relates to the early days during one of our clandestine lunch meetings in her anonymous days. At this point, almost two years after working with her, I still didn’t know her last name.
We would meet about three or four times a year, usually at Six Penn. On my way to one of those meetings in the summer, I was driving down Penn when I saw my wife and some of her coworkers. I slowed down, rolled down the window, and said hi. Probably five or ten seconds of quick “Hi!” and “how are you?”.
After pulling away, one of her coworkers turned to her and said, “So what’s Mike doing downtown?”
She said, matter of factly, “He’s having lunch with a woman I’ve never met and whose real name we don’t know.”
It was at that point Ginny and I kind of decided that would be a good idea to get us and our significant others together for dinner. We’ve all been friends ever since.
3. This season, I’m joining Ginny as her co-pilot on the Pirates bandwagon. For those that may know me and my sports tastes, this is a pretty significant development. I’ve made no secret that I have believed this franchise to be incredibly inept and mockworthy.
(PUT ON HYPOCRITE HAT) But… the summer is long, I enjoy sports, and there’s a hell of a long gap between playoff hockey and opening day of the NFL season. I think those sons of bitches gave me just enough hope last season the full weight and power of my fandom in hopes they will clear that .500 bar.
Besides, Ginny is serving margaritas… let it be known I CAN be bought. I’ll be the sauced guy betting on the outcome of individual at-bats in the upper sections.
4. Jane Orie, everyone’s favorite barbie doll that got left too close to the radiator, saw her trial go to jury today. I wonder if they let you wear trenchcoats in the clink?
5. I like to share links on Twitter that I find amusing, ridiculous, or just plain wrong. If you want some cotton candy for your brain every so often, feel free to follow me on Twitter.
Here’s one that is just all kinds of wrong: tweet something as someone else. Or at least look like you did. (http://lemmetweetthatforyou.com/)
Who’s up for having some fun with @janepitt?