HATE.

I have a new post up over at Pittsburgh Magazine and this is the one that I’ll need to repent for later probably, but in my defense, my hate for the Flyers is more a hate for the team and the game they play and the players when they’re wearing the sweaters and not so much —

Oh, who the hell am I kidding. I HATE THE FLYERS.

A snippet:

I hate the Flyers like I hate pigeons. Like Garfield hates Mondays. Like Lady Gaga hates decorum. Like Madonna hates aging.

Before yesterday, I thought my Flyers hate, which I have often described as “biblical,” had reached the deepest depths — the rock bottom of hate. I couldn’t possibly hate them any more than I already do. Then yesterday happened and I threw a stick of dynamite down into the bottom of my hate barrel and I blasted away at least three new levels of hate for me to dig down through to excavate more loathing than I ever thought possible. So much so that I need to invent a new word for that new level of hate: Abhorrimosity.

Go have a read and also, give a huge thanks to my online editor Sean Conboy for the amazing work he does in editing my stuff to sound like I know what the hell I’m talking about when I’m typing furiously in a blind rage of PURE HATE.

I think I need yoga in my life.





27 Comments

  1. Amy
    April 2, 2012 12:51 pm

    I have yoga in my life and I still HATE HATE HATE the Flyers!



  2. Jim
    April 2, 2012 12:54 pm

    When did Hulk Hogan become a Penguins fan?



    • Butcher's Dog
      April 2, 2012 3:03 pm

      Jim, that guy’s been coming to the games for years. He moves around the arena; I don’t think he has a permanent season-ticket seat.



  3. SteelCityMagnolia
    April 2, 2012 1:36 pm

    Years back, when I was a senior at Pitt, the guy I was dating was a HUGE Flyers fan. (He had other redeeming qualities.) He managed to score us tickets to a Pens/Flyers game to which he wore a freaking Ron Hextall Flyers jersey and stood up and yelled “Hey Tommy, where’d that one go?” every single time the F-ers scored. It was the most miserable date of my life — compounded by fellow Pens fans behind us who called us every name in the book and threatened our lives. I made F-ers Fan Boyfriend leave before the end of the third period so we could get out of the parking lot without getting killed.

    There’s a lot of hate in this town for the Flyers. I experienced a ton of it that night. And quite honestly, all that hate reinforced MY hate for the color orange and anyone who dons a Flyers sweater and skates.

    Playoffs are coming and we’re gonna be seeing orange again. Bring it! We’ve got hate to burn!!!



  4. Tony
    April 2, 2012 1:56 pm

    Thanks, Ginny — we Flyer fans welcome your hatred.

    Sid was slashing players all game, including a whack on Giroux on that broke his stick. He had also just put a hit on Schenn well after the puck was heading down the ice (see the video, about 2:50 in. The idea that Sid is some delicate flower who should be able to slash away and put late hits on players without fear of retribution is one any true hockey fan would laugh at. He’s on the ice with skates, pads, and a stick — if he doesn’t like being punished, he should watch his own stickwork and late hitting.



    • Butcher's Dog
      April 2, 2012 3:02 pm

      Um, asshole? The crosscheck was so long after the whistle that none of the officials were even watching players any more. Broken stick/broken back? Yeah, I guess they add up to the same in Philly.

      And on those lines (“he’s on the ice with skates, pads, and a stick”) how does your numb-nuts coach get off calling the Pens staff gutless when little Debbie Briere gets lit up on a completely clean, completely legal check? Last year Matt Cooke got suspended for ten regular season games and one playoff series for a hit. If Coach Dipshit and Schenn don’t get something from the league, we won’t have come too far from the days that Mario called it a garage league.



      • Butcher's Dog
        April 2, 2012 3:05 pm

        Oh, and add Hartnell to the list. If it’s OK to taunt fans openly, someone’s bus is gonna get run off a bridge before the playoffs end. I’m thinking the league needs to make a statement on that kind of behavior, too. Like, before supper tonight.



        • Kevin
          April 2, 2012 3:33 pm

          I agree Dog. Inciting a crowd isn’t very smart and only makes the jobs of arena staff and security tougher. Not very smart of Hartnell regardless of the Arena and what town he is in.



          • MN
            April 2, 2012 3:49 pm

            “Smart” and “the Flyers” can’t be used in the same sentence.

            I do wonder, however, how much inside information about the Pens that Max Talbot has imparted to his new team. I bet we won’t have any Flyers taking the bait of a pointless fight to totally change the momentum of a playoff game like Talbot did to Carcillo three years ago!



          • Tony
            April 2, 2012 4:26 pm

            Really? I thought Hartnell was genuinely enjoying Malkamania’s antics, and was playing along. He usually has fun with the Pens fans — remember when he autographed the “Fartsmell” jersey for a Pens fan who was giving him hell?

            I like it when the players get into it with the fans — obviously it can cross the line, but I don’t expect the players to sit there and pretend they can’t hear the fans insulting them. They’re humans, and they should be able to talk back to the fans as long as it’s in good fun.



            • Kelli
              April 3, 2012 7:34 am

              The “Hulk Hogan” super-fan that Hartnell was taunting? His name is Cy. And he is the fan that Hartnell signed the “Fartsmell” jersey for.



      • Tony
        April 2, 2012 3:58 pm

        I’m an asshole for having a different point of view? Classy!

        Crosby broke his OWN stick slashing just about anything wearing orange — Voracek, Giroux, Coburn with a two-hander that knocked him down. Was Schenn’s hit late and dirty? Absolutely. Was Sid’s stickwork dirty all game? You bet your ass it was.

        You’re really going to defend Cooke’s elbow on McDonagh last year?

        Laviolette was pissed beucase the Pens’ 4th line was out there for one reason — they hadn’t played in 12 minutes, and were out there to hurt people, which they did. Yes, it was a legal hit, but the timing of putting those guys out there in that situation is a classless move.



        • MN
          April 2, 2012 4:02 pm

          No, classless is standing on the half-wall and screaming, cursing and pointing at the other team’s coaches. The Vitale hit was good and clean and the game is called hockey…the Flyers have a rep as being one of the most classless teams built on thuggery and it sure showed yesterday!



          • Tony
            April 2, 2012 4:18 pm

            I already acknowledged that the hit was clean, but anyone who watches hockey knows that it’s classless to put bruisers out there against skilled players in the last minutes of a game when you have the last line change. Everyone knows what happens when you do that.

            If the Flyers had sent tough guys out first, then sure, you respond with Ashams and Vitales. But Bylsma decided to goon it up, and he got the injury he was looking for. Not sure how much that did to take the sting out of going 1-4 against the Flyers this season, but, hey, whatever helps Yinz sleep at night.



            • Sam's Dog
              April 2, 2012 9:16 pm

              Ya think the fourth line wasn’t out there earlier because when you are down two goals a better option might be to send out your scoring lines? Yeah, Crosby is a dirty player with his stickwork-I’ll take being dirty like Messier was his entire career any day. Just glad Laviolette”s broken stick didn’t end up in a young kid’s face. The Flyers will always be like summer vacation- no class. The Pen’s last cup was only a few years ago- not a few decades ago. Maybe it wasn’t smart to put “skilled players” out there in the last minute of a game when you are up by two. Especially when they come across the middle with their heads down.



        • empirechick
          April 2, 2012 4:27 pm

          I’m confused by your logic, Tony: legal hits are classless? That line hadn’t played in so long because the top lines were trying to score. Briere was on the ice for the same reason – because the Flyers’ defensive lines had been out most of that same time trying to keep us from scoring. Once the game was out of reach, we should have kept Malkin and Crosby out there for Courtier, Shenn, and Hartnell to whack at?

          I will concede Crosby’s slashes, but Shenn’s cross check wasn’t ‘an eye for an eye’. And there was nothing wrong with Vitale’s hit. Briere knows better than to have his head down going across the middle. (See Lindros, Eric .)



          • Tony
            April 2, 2012 4:45 pm

            For the third time: the hit was legal. Vitale was just doing his job. Byslma is the classless one for thugging it up at the end of the game when he had the last line change.



            • empirechick
              April 2, 2012 5:08 pm

              Sorry, I didn’t see your next reply before I posted.

              I hear what you’re saying, but I disagree that it was thuggery – it’s not like we put Eric Goddard or George Laroque on the ice. If the third line had gone out, it would have been Staal, Cooke and Kennedy – those guys or any defenseman would have made the same hit.

              Just more fuel for Saturday and the playoffs, for the best rivalry in hockey. It would be a travesty for the league to realign and split us up.



              • Tony
                April 2, 2012 5:13 pm

                My point is at least Cooke, Kennedy, Staal had more than 6 minutes of ice time prior to that, so there was a plausible reason for them to be out there other than to hurt people.

                But yeah, I’m loving the rivalry, and don’t worry — we’ll still be seeing each other six times a year with the new realignment.



        • Sam's Dog
          April 2, 2012 9:08 pm

          Ya think the fourth line wasn’t out there because when you are down two goals a better option might be to send out your scoring lines? Yeah, Crosby is a dirty player with his stickwork-I’ll take being dirty like Messier was his entire career any day. Just glad the broken stick didn’t end up in a young kid’s face. The Flyers will always be like summer vacation- no class. The Pen’s last cup was only a few years ago- not a few decades ago.



    • WestCoastHockeyFan
      April 3, 2012 5:05 pm

      Tony, there’s such a double standard in Pittsburgh. If anyone dares to harm any of it’s athletes, Yinzers cry foul, but when it’s the other way around, it’s a different story.

      The whole stand off with Sid Crosby was ridiculous. We visited New Brunswick and Nova Scotia last fall and people in that region (where he is from) were even disgusted with him.

      I knew darn well he was a marked man when he stepped back on the ice. And he brought it all on himself. I dont’ feel a bit sorry for him.



  5. LuAnn
    April 2, 2012 5:28 pm

    Classless is Laviolotte grabbing a player’s stick, cracking it over the Plexiglass, then using the splintered shaft to go after the opposing bench. The guy should be suspended.



    • G-Man
      April 2, 2012 6:00 pm

      Just read that he was fined $10,000 for his actions. And Tony Granato was fined $2,500 for his part.



  6. G-Man
    April 2, 2012 5:59 pm

    Something that always bugs me are references to the “rivalry” between Penguins and Flyers. Rivalry implies there is some sense of evenness in wins and losses between the two. There isn’t Flyers over the life of the two teams are more than 50 games over .500 against Pens. Nothing makes me more irritable than that fact. It just adds to my hate. Pens are the better team in my eyes and have more Cups and 3 more cups in the last 20 years. But for whatever reason, the Flyers own the Pens. And I just HATE that.



  7. Butcher's Dog
    April 2, 2012 7:24 pm

    Tony, you’re down two goals with a minute left. Are you really gonna put out the first line? To get whacked (as has been stated already)? Or let the guys who haven’t played in a while play? And you guys put out a scoring line? For what? Get another? Rub it in more? Whose organist incites the crowd to chant “Crosby Sucks” when he’s done? Stay classy, Philly. I’m actually surprised you’re competent enough in the language that you didn’t need a translator to explain what the Pens fans were saying.

    And I’m not defending Cooke’s hit. I’m just saying that the game was “live” when it happened, not far late like the cross check on Sid. Let’s not forget that he lost teeth his rookie year on a high stick that wasn’t called in Philly, which leads to his being called a baby and worse now. Let’s get real, please.

    Also, Mike Milbury is a total douchbag who is only in television in the first place because he was so incompetent as the Islanders GM that he drove them into total last-place-ness. NBC should tell him to take an unpaid seat for the next couple of lifetimes for shooting his mouth on Philly radio and making fun of concussions. Of course, he won’t ever have to worry about getting a concussion because you need a brain first to be concussed.



  8. Brett
    April 2, 2012 10:01 pm

    Late comments, but an interview with Pierre McGuire on SportsRadio 93-7 is a interesting listen on some of the actions in the last minutes of the game.