The hockey shit hit the hockey fan.

Do you guys ever wonder how much hate we would have for Sidney Crosby if he played for any other team in the NHL? I wonder that sometimes. I can’t fathom not loving him, so it’s hard for me to imagine hating him. But do you think we would be Sid-haters like everyone else if he wore, say, a Red Wings sweater?

Or would we grudgingly respect him?

If Mike Milbury, NBC’s hockey analyst, is any indicator, we would hate Sidney Crosby with scorching, burning hellfire. So much hellfire that we would risk our jobs just to get the chance to vent our spleens (no clue what that means) to say that which has been burning our brains and our tongues for so long, begging to be let out.

We would go on the air in Philadelphia and we would say atrocious things like this:

“Little goody two shoes (Crosby) goes into the corner and gives a shot to Schenn. Schenn was late to the party, he should have turned around and drilled him right away, but I guess better late than never. So you know, Crosby gets cross-checked, big whoop. He said after he came back from his 35th concussion, ‘I’m not going to do this anymore, I’m not going to get into this scrums, I’m going to stay away from that stuff.’ He couldn’t help himself because there’s a little punk in Crosby. He’s not the perfect gentleman. He’s not the sweet kid you see in interviews with his hat pulled down over his eyes.”

Question? Does anyone have anything bad to say about Sid OFF of the ice? Because all indications are that he IS a perfect gentleman and IS the sweet kid with his hat pulled down over his eyes. It seems to me that Mike Milbury is having trouble separating Sid the hockey player from Sid the human being.

I used to have that problem with Marian Hossa and then I tore his voodoo doll asunder at the crotch and everything was right in the world again.

So Milbury hates Sid. Fine. We Pens fans eat up that hate. We have it for lunch and dinner and twice for breakfast the next morning. Sid sucks. Sure. Whatever. Enjoy your hate like I enjoy my hate for the Flyers. Chew it good so it doesn’t choke you.

But there’s this:

I say screw him, hit him.

Oh boy. Now he have an NHL analyst going on the radio, making light of career-threatening concussions, and encouraging hits on a post-concussion recuperating player.

That’s putting the ass in classy. Can you imagine Cris Collinsworth doing an interview and being so stupid as to just lay into Ben or Troysus like that? Calling them punks and goody-two-shoes and encouraging other players to hit them hard upon their returns from concussions? I don’t like Cris Collinsworth, but I will admit that the man is not THAT stupid.

And don’t even get me started on Milbury’s ridiculous sexist caveman call for Bylsma to “take his skirt off” and get up and fight Laviolette. The reason Bylsma didn’t fight with his fists is because he’s an adult and he knows better, and the reason he didn’t take his skirt off is because … YOUR MOM, MIKE.

I don’t know. I couldn’t think of a snappy comeback, and YOUR MOM always works. Try it sometime.

“You’re ugly.”

“YOUR MOM.”

See?

Milbury has since issued an apology, which, fine. You’re sorry you were so stupid as to say the things you did, but let’s not kid ourselves that you don’t really feel all of those things you said because you can’t put the Nutella back in the jar after you’ve hoovered the whole thing. And here’s another problem … you’re supposed to be an impartial hockey analyst. How the hell are you ever going to be able to work another Penguins game without every single thing you say being turned this way and that way, examined closely to see if there’s a bias lurking behind the words? You’ve already showed us your cards, Mike, and you’ve got a four-of-a-kind of bias.

Which again, it’s fine. I think the Pens fans get used to the subtle and not-so-subtle bias by some analysts, but this is the first time one has gone on the radio for such a blatant airing of grievances.

Sid’s agent is calling for Milbury’s firing or suspension, but I don’t know that Milbury needs to be fired. They’re just words, albeit spoken from someone who should have known better than to let them ever hit the airwaves. I think the best revenge will not be him losing his job, but the Penguins going deep into the playoffs and maybe hoisting the Cup on the shoulders of Sidney, Geno, and Fleury.

Barring that sweet revenge, there’s always this …

YOUR MOM.





57 Comments

  1. bucdaddy
    April 4, 2012 11:42 am

    Granted his rant seems over the top, but the older I get, the less I give a flying fig what anybody else says or does, especially TV/radio types who have hours of air time to fill and so often say whatever comes into their fool heads to fill it. Even with Twitter, at least after you’ve written your message you can ponder whether you actually want to transmit something as stupid as what you just wrote in a fit of pique. Not live TV and radio.

    Anyway, I just don’t care what fools say. It just doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t matter. If it doesn’t involve me and it doesn’t affect me, it just doesn’t matter.

    “They’re just words.” That’s exactly the right attitude to have to keep your blood pressure in check. Look around and I’m sure you’ll find more important stuff to fret about.

    Maybe I’m just in this mood today because I spent a lot of time in airports this weekend waiting for “delayed” flights to get off the ground. Really, two flights, out and back, and the first was delayed two hours and the second canceled altogether, and rerouted through Philadelphia, where my connection gate was across the aisle from a Jet Rocks with like 40 taps and the one time I wanted a flight to be delayed a half hour it was f***ing RIGHT. ON. TIME …

    *deep breath*

    Anyway, there’s no point in going off on the attendant who has to deliver the bad news, she didn’t do anything wrong. So into Zen mode I went, and I’m sure I felt better for it.

    But as for apologies … Apologies without some kind of penance are largely worthless. I heard a lot of “Ladies and gentlemen, again we apologize for the delay …” this weekend, but what I never heard was, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’re very sorry for wasting hours of your day that you’ll never get back again, so free booze on this flight for everyone!”



    • Pensgirl
      April 4, 2012 1:19 pm

      I wholeheartedly agree with you bucdaddy, both specific to this “incident” and in general.

      IMO, NBC was stupid to hire Milbury and the rest of those insufferable idiots in the first place, but they did, so I go out of my way not to deal with them. I put on the X online for every game that is nationally televised; even if the feeds are significantly out of synch it’s still far preferable to listening to those twats. Though I can’t help but to have run across the flap he’s caused, when I always make an active effot not to hear Milbury on TV, I’m sure as hell not going to reverse course and make an active effort to listen to him on the radio. Being outraged over Milbury opening his mouth is like being shocked that rain is wet.

      People like him only say things to get attention, so giving attention to it is the last thing any of us should do. And given the other idiots NBC employs I’m still going to mute the TV and flip at intermission regardless of whether they fire Milbury, so even though I do think he ought to be unemployable by anyone’s standards, someone else’s choice to employ him has no bearing on my life.



  2. Paul
    April 4, 2012 11:45 am

    We would probably feel about him (Crosby) the same way we feel about Ovechkin. Hate the guy, but never wish him injured.

    It seems Philly is all bent out of shape before the playoffs have even started. The Pens are in their heads. This is good, though. I feel like Philly is waking the sleeping beast a bit. I don’t think they’ll like the results.



    • red pen mama
      April 4, 2012 12:57 pm

      Um, my husband regularly wishes The Kraken would get shot in the knee. Maybe he (my husband) is the exception?



      • Paul
        April 4, 2012 12:59 pm

        Ha! I totally get that. I still have memories of all the runs he used to take at Malkin where he was clearly attempting to injure him.

        Have I wished harm on him in my darkest moments? I’m not saying. :)



    • PA Girl in VA
      April 4, 2012 3:14 pm

      The one and only player I’ve ever really wished injury upon is Scott Hartnell (not that I’d cry if someone tripped Ovie into the boards and he busted his knee in a gazillion places). Whenever I see Hartnell’s ugly mug, I yell, “Hit him with a stick!!” And I mean it. Hit him upside his f***ing head so hard that his hair goes straight. And turns gray. And his teeth fall out.



      • empirechick
        April 4, 2012 3:51 pm

        Interestingly, in all of this I actually have come to respect Hartnell a little. His comments after the game were very reasonable, and he complimented our fans’ dedication.

        He’s an instigator and a pain in the ass and I’m not a fan by any stretch, but he isn’t the villian I previously thought (at least not this week).

        As a side note: why are so many Flyers redheads?? Something like 2% of the population is redhead, but the Flyers have at least 3 on their 25 man roster (Hartnell, Courturier, and Giroux). The jerseys must be leeching into their scalps.



        • PA Girl in VA
          April 4, 2012 4:12 pm

          I, too, have a somewhat less hostile opinion of Hartnell when he’s off the ice. And, as Ginny stated, I often wonder how I’d feel about these players if they played for the Pens. I used to loathe Asham. Guess what? I’ve embraced him :) What if we’d drafted Ovie instead of Geno? Shoot, if that’d happened, I don’t think the Pens organization would have allowed Ovie to become the type of player that he is today.



  3. geeves
    April 4, 2012 11:46 am

    Mike Milbury and Don Cherry should team up and have “The Anti-Crosby Hour”.

    Milbury isn’t an analyst, he’s the NBC/NHL equivalent of Glenn Beck or Bill O’Reilly.

    Nobody pays any attention to him.



    • bucdaddy
      April 4, 2012 11:57 am

      You do,. apparently.



    • Suz
      April 4, 2012 2:59 pm

      Don Cherry is pure “schtick”. He is a chariacture, on purpose. He is outrageous so that the guys hanging out at the tavern in the middle of Nowhere, Canada can have something to talk about. What
      will Grapes wear next? What will he say next?

      There is no plausible explanation for Milbury. He’s just an idiot. He’s been saying outrageous things for attention for 20 years (See 1991, when he tried to paint Badger Bob as the Professor of Goonism.) And, that is NOT his real hair color.



  4. Kyle
    April 4, 2012 11:59 am

    I think you’re taking Milbury’s “I say screw him, hit him.” comment a little out of context. He was referring to a retaliation hit, not just going out onto the ice and hunting for Crosby. Crosby gave a cheap shot in the corner prior to getting crosschecked. Milbury was saying that he’s OK with someone hitting Crosby after a cheap shot like that; you can’t shy away from hitting a player like Crosby even though he’s had prior injuries. It’s hockey. It’s a shame he’s had such tough and serious injuries these past two years, but he can’t go out there any dish it out and not expect to get hit while he’s out on the ice.



    • Paul
      April 4, 2012 12:03 pm

      Was the part he mockingly said Crosby had 35 concussions taken out of context?

      It is hockey like you said. Guys give each other shots all the time. Why can’t Crosby?



      • Kyle
        April 4, 2012 12:09 pm

        Yeah, that part was obviously out of line. Crosby CAN go out there any hit people and take cheap shots if he wants…but he’s going to have to deal with the repercussions. Opposing teams can’t treat him differently or pretend there’s a bubble around him. He’s going to have to take back what he dishes out.



        • Paul
          April 4, 2012 12:14 pm

          “he’s going to have to deal with the repercussions” <- I'm totally fine with this.

          My problem with the entire thing is Milbury is a supposed "impartial" broadcaster for a major network talking about one of the best players in hockey, mocking his injury. In what other sport would this happen?



          • empirechick
            April 4, 2012 1:11 pm

            In all the other sports, broadcasters go out of their way to kiss each and every player/team/GM’s ass, because if they don’t, they don’t have a job for long. For whatever reason, hockey seems to be the only sport where the analysts don’t glorify their own game, which makes no sense to me.



    • PA Girl in VA
      April 4, 2012 3:27 pm

      Kyle, I said the same thing to my husband the other day. I’m not defending Milbury – he’s an a$$. But I was thinking that he MIGHT have meant that Crosby’s been cleared to play hockey and is on the ice. Players will not and should not tiptoe around him and treat him differently because of his history with concussions. If he’s on the ice, he’s fair game just like everyone else. And yes, if he’s going to hit another player, he sure as heck better be ready to be hit back.

      But that shot on Sid was a late/cheap shot and I’d protest against that kind of dirty play if it happened to ANY player (other than Scott Hartnell and The Kraken). The name calling was childish and, oddly enough, sounds just like what Milbury was accusing Bylsma of.

      Regarding Milbury’s apology, I read comment elsewhere that made a good point: If you’re going to make an outrageous statement about someone, be a “man” and stand behind it. Don’t back down just because folks didn’t like what you said. You think Bylsma’s a girlie-man and Sid’s a pansy? Say it and don’t apologize for your opinion (no matter how misguided). If you’re going to apologize for something, apologize for supporting and encouraging goonery.



  5. TripleC
    April 4, 2012 12:15 pm

    Sucked as a player. Sucked as a coach. Redefined suck as a GM. And has now successfully completed the superfecta (had to look that up on Google because I had no idea what came after trifecta) by sucking as being a broadcaster. Few have ever ventured down this path (unless you are affiliated with the Pirates somehow).

    So kudos to Mike Milbury because you have truly sucked at life.



    • Bulldog
      April 4, 2012 12:48 pm

      “Sucked as a player. Sucked as a coach. Redefined suck as a GM. And has now successfully completed the superfecta by sucking as being a broadcaster.”

      I could not possibly agree more.

      I will add though, that I wish Crosby’s agent much success in getting this scumbag suspended/fired by NBC so I won’t have to see his sorry likeness on NBC during the playoffs. Of course, NBC won’t cave because they’re loving all the publicity (see Roenick, Jeremy for apropos references), so my only recourse will be to leave the room during intermissions of NBC broadcast playoff games.



  6. HockeyFan
    April 4, 2012 12:58 pm

    Please stop making an issue of his brain injuries. Sid chooses to play the worlds most aggressive team sport. If he is worried about getting hurt again then he shouldn’t be playing



    • PA Girl in VA
      April 4, 2012 3:30 pm

      No one is making issues of his concussions and I think everyone agrees that when he’s on the ice, he is no different than any other player out there. What people ARE taking exception to is Milbury’s jokes concerning Sid’s concussions. It’s not a funny subject. Period.



  7. Burghbird
    April 4, 2012 1:18 pm

    Kyle- I agree to a point. Yes, if Sid dishes out some extracurriculars as he did on Sunday, he can expect some in return. However, a normal hockey response would be to retaliate DURING play, not after the whistle has blown and he is headed to his bench. That was uncalled for. That is why it was cheap.

    Milbury gets paid for his views on the teams and players of the NHL. This time he went a bit too far. He could have said he doesn’t like Sid’s style of play or something more “diplomatic” but he chose to stir the pot. He could have said what he would have done if he were coaching in that situation, but instead he chose to call Dan’s manhood into question. Perhaps he didn’t want to bring up his bench climbing incident. He apologized to the wrong people. Personal apologies to Sid and Dan are required. But as much as we may want it, NBC will not fire him. Playoffs bring drama, and playoffs will bring big payoffs for NBC.

    As for the issue of hatred, I would hope that if Sid played for another team against us that while I would hate him scoring against us, I would also be able to appreciate his skill. Much like how I just couldn’t bring myself to hate Aaron Rodgers even though I wanted to beat the Packers last year.



    • Kyle
      April 4, 2012 1:44 pm

      Before/after the whistle doesn’t really make a difference in this situation. Crosby tried to check Schnenn in the back completely away from the play. It’s really no different than getting hit after the whistle…neither players were expecting to get hit.



      • lee
        April 5, 2012 2:22 pm

        Getting hit WAY after the whistle, from behind, as you make your way back to your bench IS different from MOST instances of getting hit after the whistle. Most post-whistle hits come in the form of shoving the scrum mere seconds after the whistle. Not chasing someone down to hit him as he’s headed toward his bench. It is different.



  8. Lauryn
    April 4, 2012 1:20 pm

    I was POed when I saw that Milbury went ranting about Sid and his concussions on the radio. But then I thought about the fact that he was a pretty crappy coach, single handedly ruined the Islanders organization as a GM, and chased a 12 year old around threatening to beat his ass because the kid hit his kid during a hockey game. Made me realize he isn’t exactly all there when it comes to hockey, or life for that matter.

    I’m sure NBC forced the apology because they know where their bread is buttered. They should have just fired him, like they should have earlier this year for the youth hockey incident.



    • PA Girl in VA
      April 4, 2012 3:37 pm

      The charges against him for assault on the 12 year old were dropped due to insufficient evidence. Nothing NBC could do to him regarding that situation.



      • Lauryn
        April 5, 2012 3:07 pm

        But don’t you think the simple fact that it had to be investigated could be enough? I mean come on, a 12 year old?



        • Lauryn
          April 5, 2012 3:10 pm

          PS, PA Girl in VA….where are you in VA? I’m near DC.



          • PA Girl in VA
            April 6, 2012 3:51 pm

            As much as I’d like to say that his being investigated would be enough, he was not charged and, therefore, not guilty of any wrongdoing. Can’t fire a guy for that. If it were you in such a position, you would hope that you’re job would be secure if you were only investigated – and never charged – for a crime. Gotta put the shoe on the other foot for a little perspective.

            And to answer your question, I’m in Virginia Beach, 7 miles from where the F/A-18D Hornet went down today :(



  9. bluzdude
    April 4, 2012 1:22 pm

    The “Goody-TwoShoes” thing is nothing but a media label. If Milbury has a problem with that, he should talk to his numbnut colleagues in said media. Sid is a hockey player, period.

    And as for hitting him, I’m ok with that, as long as, you know, it’s DURING PLAY, as opposed to a blindside whack-job after the whistle, on the way to the bench. The Flyers are poster boys for this kind of behavior. They’ll take every post-whistle shot at the other team, but scream bloody murder if somebody hits THEM (Legally!) I think a lot of what Milbury was doing was playing to the hometown media in Philly, serving them up some of that anti-Crosby crapola in which they revel so much.



  10. Pensgirl
    April 4, 2012 1:26 pm

    I said my piece in my reply to bucdaddy, but I do have one other thought on this: if I were Dan Bylsma, I’d totally wear a kilt to the arena on Saturday. Because mockery is the only appropriate acknowledgement that should ever be given to morons.



    • empirechick
      April 4, 2012 1:42 pm

      BRILLIANT!!



    • hello haha narf
      April 4, 2012 2:16 pm

      i adore bylsma, but he would have my undying love if he rocked a kilt on saturday



    • Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
      April 4, 2012 2:26 pm

      Can’t remember who was circulating it on twitter, but I did see a retweet from somebody suggesting that instead of/in addition to a whiteout, everyone (men included) should wear a skirt to the game then prior to the start, throw them onto the ice.



  11. Leigh
    April 4, 2012 2:06 pm

    I disagree. I think Chris Collinsworth is that big of a douche.



    • Paul
      April 4, 2012 2:10 pm

      Thank you! I always thought this about “Chris Collinsworth” but I’m always reading about how good he is. I always thought he was biased against the Steelers in the 90s.



    • PA Girl in VA
      April 4, 2012 3:42 pm

      he irritates the crap out of me every time he pronounces Ryan Mundy’s last name as “Monday”. I’m certain he does it on purpose. I mean, he can’t be THAT stupid, can he? Can he????



  12. hello haha narf
    April 4, 2012 2:14 pm

    I’ve gotten into more fist fights than I care to admit over folks saying “YOUR MOM” and not realizing to what ends I would go to defend her.
    Therefore, Mike Milbury can BLOW ME.



  13. Joe K.
    April 4, 2012 2:32 pm

    Milbury is a failure with his half-assed apology. I’d almost have more respect for him if he said, “you know what, I still think Crosby is a punk.”



    • PA Girl in VA
      April 4, 2012 3:45 pm

      I just said that above in response to a post from Kyle. Someone else said the same thing and I repeated the sentiment – if you have an opinion, stand by it. Don’t back down just because people don’t like what you said. To me, the only real issue is that he supports thugery, goonery and downright dangerous play. I don’t care what he personally thinks of the players.



  14. gunnlino
    April 4, 2012 3:29 pm

    I remember it more as ” Your Moma ! ”

    Also there’s an old saying about getting into an argument with a fool ( Milbury )….one has to be careful that the spectators don’t lose sight of just who is the fool .
    Leave it , it will die a natural death .



  15. Butcher's Dog
    April 4, 2012 4:06 pm

    OK, I’m a bit late to this party but I think I’ll join anyway. First, the biggest single current measurement of how big an asshole Milbury is is that he makes Keith Jones look intelligent. That right there is cause to wish birth control could be made retroactive. Second, it’s primarily the studio guys on NBC that are pathetic. Mike (Doc) Emrick is one of the classiest, most creative announcers going. I wish he was the Pens broadcaster, but I’d think I’d died and gone to heaven if he replaced Greg Brown on the Pirates telecasts. Edzo is OK, too, but he never gets too far past “keep the stick on the ice” with his analysis. Third, I’m glad Milbury’s picture showed up directly under “hockey shit” in the title of this posting. Very nice layout and design. Fourth, let’s not lose sight of the fact that Ovechkin would be a Pen if they hadn’t lost the lottery his draft year. We had the worst record and Washington got the lottery pick. We had to “settle” for Geno. So I’m thinking if Sid were somewhere else (although Anaheim was next-to-last in that lottery and we might not care as much) we’d maybe feel about him the way we feel about Ovie. And finally (for now at least) you forfeit your right to bitch about getting a “cheap shot” from Sid in the corner when you go absolutely bat-shit crazy when Briere gets lit up at center ice on a perfectly legal play.

    I do agree that maybe Philly woke up the sleeping giant a bit. Kinda looked that way last night. Lets hope the fire continues to burn well into June.



  16. PA Girl in VA
    April 4, 2012 4:23 pm

    BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!! Have you guys read THIS?? http://www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=625925

    Allow me to quote Flyers’ assistant coach Craig Berube: “Crosby and Malkin are the dirtiest players on their hockey team. They slash, they punch guys in the face — they do all these little things.”



    • Brett
      April 4, 2012 5:31 pm

      Show me a hockey player that doesn’t slash and punch guys in the face and retaliate and I’ll show you someone who doesn’t play hockey. I’ve seen pretty much every single player player do something behind the play in retaliation, note the last word there retaliation. It is human nature, what I don’t agree with (and many others here as well) is that the retaliation should not be done as Schenn did to Crosby, if he had of done the slash or the “love-tap” to the face I would have had some respect for him (oh hang on he plays for the Flyers, scratch that last comment), but acting as he did was all sorts of wrong time, wrong place, wrong act!

      And the subject of the post from Ginny, Milbury is quite simply a d!ck. He either has no concept of repercussions to his impartial comments or the producers at NBC have decided he should be a goon to further ignite the hate between the Pens and the Flyers more leading into the play-offs.



    • SteelCityMagnolia
      April 9, 2012 11:27 am

      That quote coming from the same Craig Berube who is in the top ten on the all-time most penalty minutes list and who punched a ref in the face back in the day. I guess once he took the skates off, he forgot what a badass he used to so proudly be.



  17. Burghbird
    April 4, 2012 5:18 pm

    Empirechick- I threw up a little in my mouth when I read Hartnell’s post-melee comments, mostly because I felt a teensy bit of my hatred for him disappear. Actually, more than a few of the Flyers players were less douche-y than I was hoping for. It’s gonna be a helluva series, there will be blood, but I also love that they will shake hands like men when it’s over. Can’t say the same for Milbury.



  18. Craig
    April 4, 2012 5:47 pm

    Milbury seems awfully pro-violence. It’s his mentality that makes hockey more dangerous than it should be.



  19. Kevin
    April 5, 2012 9:41 am

    Milbury is one of a long list of questionable hires by the NBC family of networks. Think about it and put aside any political bias. Chelsea Clinton, Al Sharpton, Rachael Maddow, Mike Milbury, all known for something outside theirm journalistic pedigree. Say something stupid get noticed. Get hired for who you are, not waht you are, get noticed. I know Fox does the same thing, but NBC is still supposed to be above the fray being one of the original Big three networks. Milbury is an ass clown and this season alone has had too many news stories about him. That is a problem.



  20. Kevin
    April 5, 2012 9:43 am

    Sorry for the typos in previous post. By the way, what is with Milbury’s 1979 Hair?



  21. RichD
    April 5, 2012 9:59 am

    I honestly don’t understand why this is even a story. A guy who is paid to give his opinions and stir up a little controversy did his job. I don’t agree with him, but I don’t have to.



  22. WI Mom
    April 5, 2012 2:37 pm

    So, with the exception of naming a specific amount of money, this is on par with the Saints bounty program. And issuing an apology after ranting your true feelings about someone is meaningless. Everyone knows that apology is just to keep your job and you don’t mean a single word of it.



  23. cmd_45
    April 5, 2012 6:53 pm

    The hit would have been absolutely overlooked had it been by anyone but Crosby. But ratings, anyone? NBC has to be pleased that this has caused an increased interest in hockey, especially the Flyers/Pens series.