1. Today I spent the morning at the Mario Lemieux Foundation helping prepare for Make Room for Kids install day at the cancer unit at Children’s Hospital which will take place this Thursday. I can’t wait to share with you everything we’re gifting those kids with thanks to you and the generous folks at the local Microsoft office.
2. An exclusive look at Hines Ward’s Atlanta mansion thanks to Bob Pompeani.
TWENTY-EIGHT FLAT SCREEN TVs IN ONE HOUSE?!
And I thought we were excessive for having three in ours. My God, I would be a terrible rich person.
Also, I can’t watch a Bob Pompeani video without immediately wanting to go watch him tear up a dance floor like nobody was watching.
3. Paul Van Osdol reports on the texting while driving ban and demonstrates how you too can fool the police.
“Instead of texting up here, people are texting down here” might be my favorite news reporter quote of the week.
4. Someone stole a rather large statue of Paul Bunyan … or a statue of an angry pilgrim who wishes to kill you good:
They oughta sell that thing to the Scarehouse. They love evil dead-eyed shit like that.
5. And yet another hockey professional calls Sidney Crosby a diving whiner.
“It was whining,” Fraser said. “Mike Richards was yelling at him at that instant, he said something to the effect of ‘it looks like a yard sale out here.’ He had gloves thrown all over the place, he was grabbing his face, taking dives. and then he would complain to the referee that he was fouled. I like tough hockey. It’s a man’s game. And I do provide for player safety. Once that line is crossed, I like to see guys respond when the bell rings. There were times when he was looking and going down easy. Which was designed to embarrass the referee and fool him into calling penalties. That wasn’t going to happen with me.”
Let’s call the wahmbulance for all these whiners whining about Sid’s “whining.”
6. How slow of a news day does it have to be for KDKA to air a report that firemen in Westmoreland County saved some koi?
7. The second round of Burghy wedding pictures is up over at Pittsburgh Magazine, this one featuring Primanti’s, Kennywood, the incline and more!
Who knew you could rent an incline?! I might rent one next week for the most intense ten minute rave ever. $340 cover charge.
8. As you recall violent rhino sex is a real thing that resulted in the two rhinos at the zoo charging at each other and trying to do bodily harm to one another while attempting to procreate, which seems completely counterproductive, but to each his or her own violent copulation methods.
The Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium’s two black rhinos chased, roared, snorted and charged each other as part of the animals’ rowdy mating ritual that began in late 2009.
“It definitely wasn’t love at first sight,” said Barbara Baker, president and CEO of the Highland Park zoo. “Rhino breeding is anything but romantic … They had an intense courtship that was quite aggressive.”
As a result, the pair’s first baby is expected in September, after a roughly 15-month gestation period. It would be the first rhino calf delivered at the zoo in 47 years.
You also recall that violent rhino sex is one of our blog fake band names. Here is their first album:
Songs on the CD include “Hateful Horn,” “Angry Orgy,” and “My Gestation Period is HOW FREAKING LONG?!”
That last one is a power ballad.