Random n’at

1. Today I spent the morning at the Mario Lemieux Foundation helping prepare for Make Room for Kids install day at the cancer unit at Children’s Hospital which will take place this Thursday. I can’t wait to share with you everything we’re gifting those kids with thanks to you and the generous folks at the local Microsoft office.

2. An exclusive look at Hines Ward’s Atlanta mansion thanks to Bob Pompeani.

TWENTY-EIGHT FLAT SCREEN TVs IN ONE HOUSE?!

And I thought we were excessive for having three in ours. My God, I would be a terrible rich person.

Also, I can’t watch a Bob Pompeani video without immediately wanting to go watch him tear up a dance floor like nobody was watching.

3. Paul Van Osdol reports on the texting while driving ban and demonstrates how you too can fool the police.

“Instead of texting up here, people are texting down here” might be my favorite news reporter quote of the week.

4. Someone stole a rather large statue of Paul Bunyan … or a statue of an angry pilgrim who wishes to kill you good:

(Tribune Democrat)

They oughta sell that thing to the Scarehouse. They love evil dead-eyed shit like that.

5. And yet another hockey professional calls Sidney Crosby a diving whiner.

“It was whining,” Fraser said.  “Mike Richards was yelling at him at that instant, he said something to the effect of ‘it looks like a yard sale out here.’ He had gloves thrown all over the place, he was grabbing his face, taking dives. and then he would complain to the referee that he was fouled. I like tough hockey. It’s a man’s game. And I do provide for player safety. Once that line is crossed, I like to see guys respond when the bell rings. There were times when he was looking and going down easy. Which was designed to embarrass the referee and fool him into calling penalties. That wasn’t going to happen with me.”

Let’s call the wahmbulance for all these whiners whining about Sid’s “whining.”

6.  How slow of a news day does it have to be for KDKA to air a report that firemen in Westmoreland County saved some koi?

7. The second round of Burghy wedding pictures is up over at Pittsburgh Magazine, this one featuring Primanti’s, Kennywood, the incline and more!

Who knew you could rent an incline?!  I might rent one next week for the most intense ten minute rave ever.  $340 cover charge.

8. As you recall violent rhino sex is a real thing that resulted in the two rhinos at the zoo charging at each other and trying to do bodily harm to one another while attempting to procreate, which seems completely counterproductive, but to each his or her own violent copulation methods.

When Azizi met Jomo, the two locked horns.

The Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium’s two black rhinos chased, roared, snorted and charged each other as part of the animals’ rowdy mating ritual that began in late 2009.

“It definitely wasn’t love at first sight,” said Barbara Baker, president and CEO of the Highland Park zoo. “Rhino breeding is anything but romantic … They had an intense courtship that was quite aggressive.”

As a result, the pair’s first baby is expected in September, after a roughly 15-month gestation period. It would be the first rhino calf delivered at the zoo in 47 years.

You also recall that violent rhino sex is one of our blog fake band names. Here is their first album:

Songs on the CD include “Hateful Horn,” “Angry Orgy,” and “My Gestation Period is HOW FREAKING LONG?!”

That last one is a power ballad.





31 Comments

  1. Gina
    April 17, 2012 4:11 pm

    Some of the burgh wedding photo captions are cut off. Am I doing something wrong that i can’t see them?



  2. Bill
    April 17, 2012 4:24 pm

    #6 is WTAE not KDKA. It is good the fireman thought enough to try to save the fish for the homeowner. Koi can’t be inexpensive.



  3. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    April 17, 2012 4:34 pm

    Isn’t Kerry Fraser is the referee Mario came storming out of the penalty box after? He always gave Lemieux a hard time so it’s no surprise to me he considers Sid a whiner.



  4. Pensgirl
    April 17, 2012 4:34 pm

    Kerry Fraser (a/k/a the Human Helmet) would have punched Mario in the face before every game if he could have gotten away with it. He had a very obvious inferiority complex and always hated talented players (especially ones for whom English was a second language, but that’s a topic for another day). Nothing he says is worth mentioning.



    • Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
      April 17, 2012 4:55 pm

      I remember the game when Mario stormed after him. It was very surreal and everyone around me was standing saying eith “kill Fraser” and “stop Mario, someone else kill Fraser” at the same time.



  5. Sooska
    April 17, 2012 6:05 pm

    Kerry Fraser, he of the plasticized hair, despised the skill and talent of Mario Lemieux and the Penguins. He never made calls if 3guys were chopping on Mario’s hands or hanging off his back. All Mario had to do was give him the French sneer and he’d be in the box. If heis whining about Sid then he hasn’t gotten over the fact that he wasn’t lucky enough to be born with great hair, not to mention talents.



  6. bluzdude
    April 17, 2012 7:05 pm

    I don’t know what it is about that rhino picture but it’s making me giggle uncontrollably.

    Other noteworthy tunes: “Baby Got Horn,” “Horn to be Wild,” “Horn Under a Bad Sign,” and “Is That a Rhino in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Glad to See Me?”



  7. KGC
    April 17, 2012 8:50 pm

    #7 photo.. I didn’t know the Incline was also a freight elevator.



    • LeeInIrwin
      April 17, 2012 10:50 pm

      Really? Rudeness is not necessary.

      Best wishes to Joe and Addi on their happy day! Thanks for sharing your photo – #7!



    • Julie
      April 17, 2012 11:23 pm

      The bride in that photo is my cousin you ignorant jackhole. Any chance this can be deleted, Gin?



      • addiful
        April 17, 2012 11:25 pm

        I wouldn’t worry too much about the jackhole, Julie. My skin is too thick for fat jokes to hurt. Get it? GET IT? Hehe.



    • Virginia
      April 18, 2012 8:41 am

      I’m offended by this. It will be deleted.



      • KGC
        April 18, 2012 7:01 pm

        Ginny, Lighten up. You’re offended because someone got their knickers in a knot and complained? Is That’s Church now ultra-PC or a “Can’t we all get along?” site?

        You know my real name as we have met on many occasions and I consider you and David friends. Go ahead and delete if you like, but the original comment was pure snark.. nothing more, nothing less. The 2nd is rude (so?), but the 3rd is in direct response to the poster’s reference to #8… just sayin’.

        Me thinks I *have* to buy you a tequila(s) soon. Friday or Saturday @ Las Velas?



        • Julie
          April 18, 2012 11:28 pm

          SUre, now that you’ve been called out on your general assholishness by several people, you are just misunderstood. It was only a snark. Look up the definition. I think the word you ACTUALLY want is “insult.” Definition: A disrespectful or scornfully abusive remark or action. That about sums it up. But way to try and deflect the utter rudeness in a post that is entirely uncalled for.

          If Ginny really does know you in real life, I highly doubt that she “knows you” because I can’t imagine Ginny hanging out with someone who thinks its okay to overcompensate for his insecurities by tearing someone else down on the internet.



        • LeeInIrwin
          April 19, 2012 7:40 am

          For no other reason than to be ‘snarky’, you insulted (h/t Julie) people who submitted a fun, happy picture from their wedding. And it was personal. Bullies and mean girls do that. That’s why you were called out. Not because it’s PC, not because we all ‘need to get along’. Because you were being a jerk. Maybe you’re not a jerk in real life but for the moment that you submitted that comment, you were.



    • Monty
      April 18, 2012 8:52 am

      Jesus, dude. Did anyone raise you?



    • JLH
      April 18, 2012 1:35 pm

      It’s okay… he’s just jealous because he isn’t happy or married. Which isn’t a surprise considering he never learned the definitions of the words kindness, decency, and tact.



  8. bucdaddy
    April 18, 2012 2:10 am

    Our Bobtown wedding fffffffffffts all your Pittsburgh weddings.



  9. Monty
    April 18, 2012 8:37 am

    You must think Bojack and the Priester are going to have a full-on misogynistic, violent, naked wrestle war in the comment string to your Ye Olde Steeler Uniform post to shut down the comments on that one.



  10. bucdaddy
    April 18, 2012 11:26 am

    Am I the only one who thinks there’s something disturbing about a guy who never wants to be out of view of a TV for more than three seconds in his own house? That commercial with the guy in the restaurant surruptitiously watching basketball while he’s on a date with a beautiful woman-type disturbed?

    Man, my favorite bar has one TV and it’s usually turned off. That’s probably why it’s my favorite bar. The fact it has an extensive beer menu has NOTHING to do with it.



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