The zoo’s new baby otter will make it all better

I love baby animals, and as a professional pigeon punter and bird hater and cat hater, you’re probably like “LIAR FIRE PANTS!”

But seriously, sometimes when I need a smile, I just go to Google and type “baby [insert random animal]” and then I’m all fawning and squeeing and I start pronouncing it CYOOOOOOT!

But I will never say adorbs. Promise.

Let’s try it. Baby ………. platypus! (click photos for sources):

OMG. SO CYOOOOOT! SQUEEE! I WANT TO NAME THEM ALL PERRRRRRYYYYY!

See what I mean?

Let’s try another. Baby ………… anteater!

OMG. CYOOOOOOOT! I WANT A BABY ANTEATER! I WILL FEED IT BABY ANTS!

I bet you never thought a baby anteater would make you ovulate like that.

The only animal that is not adorable when it’s born is a pigeon, and that’s how you know Satan invented them. No way God created THIS monstrosity:

Are you trying to kill them with fire too? Just me?

Anyway, the Pittsburgh Zoo is introducing its baby otter tomorrow and my buddy @Herbie got a sneak preview and shared these pictures on Twitter and said I could share them with you!

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