The Mullethawkenberger has some competition

This is the Mullethawkenberger, the douche-hairstyle that all douche hairstyles idolize. Not quite a mullet. Not quite a mohawk. Not quite a faux hawk.

This is the Mullethawkenberger on drugs:

It looks like his hair is trying to mold itself into a jaunty hat.  I’ve seen tropical birds with smaller, better kept pompadours. It looks like one half of his hair was styled by himself and the other half by a mouse rooting around  for cheese bits.

It looks like a faux hawk with its own faux hawk. Let’s call it faux deux de hawkeaux il douche.

It will be all the rage in France faster than you can say, “When can I punch this guy in his stupid hair?”


  1. Cassie
    May 8, 2012 12:50 pm

    God his wife is hot. And I’m as straight as they come. Well, left of center.

  2. AngryMongo
    May 8, 2012 12:51 pm

    Perhaps Marmaduke licked his face.

  3. bucdaddy
    May 8, 2012 1:11 pm

    Where have I seen the Mullethawkenberger before …

    Oh yeah, on this guy:

  4. DG
    May 8, 2012 1:13 pm

    That is hilariously, wonderfully horrible. But, when did it become OK to forget to shave before appearing in public? I’m not a fan of this half-grown-in-stubbly look. On either of them.

  5. Butcher's Dog
    May 8, 2012 1:30 pm

    At least Brady only has one chin. That’s gotta count for something, right?

  6. JenB
    May 8, 2012 1:53 pm

    He looks like that Martin Short character, Ed Grimley.

    • unsatisfied
      May 10, 2012 6:05 pm

      that’s a pretty fine comment, I must say. when’s “wheel of fortune” on?

  7. Elle C.
    May 8, 2012 2:14 pm

    It’s almost like he purposely tried to replicate the “There’s Something About Mary” hair gel scene.

  8. Steverino
    May 8, 2012 2:22 pm

    Whoever that “fabulous and trendy” couple is: he has fake hair and she has fake boobs. A match made in silicone heaven.

  9. Erin
    May 8, 2012 2:24 pm

    The “il douche” part has killed me. Haaaaaaa!

  10. rickh
    May 8, 2012 4:41 pm

    “I’m Gumby dammit!”

  11. Jim W.
    May 8, 2012 4:49 pm

    That can’t be right. Mistakes were made. Stylists fired.

  12. Trish
    May 9, 2012 6:30 am

    This makes me want to punch Tom Brady in the face repeatedly even more so than usual.

  13. SteelCityMagnolia
    May 9, 2012 9:28 am

    Note to Tom Brady: The plastic Ken-doll hairstyle didn’t work for Ken, either.

    And just looking at him makes me want to commit violent crimes.

  14. bucdaddy
    May 9, 2012 11:40 am

    Who’s the guy with Brady?

    • bucdaddy
      May 10, 2012 9:40 am

      Seriously, I don’t get her supermodelness at all. Even with his effed-up hair and her made up to the nines, Brady’s prettier than she is. She must have the proverbial “great personality” because she looks like Geddy Lee. Or maybe having umlauts in your name makes people think you’re exotic.

  15. jen a
    May 9, 2012 12:24 pm

    It’s not a faux hawk. It’s a chapeau hawk

  16. Bulldog
    May 9, 2012 12:26 pm

    Ha! Hair plugs DO look worse with tons of gel and a ridiculous “look at me” hairstyle. All the money in the world and he goes to this extreme for attention? Sad, just plain sad.

  17. ExPat Yinzer
    May 11, 2012 9:04 am

    Well well well. Where do we begin? “Oh crap, I was out too late with the boys and don’t have time for the usual s*** / shower / shave. I’ll have get by with a clean shirt, a few swipes of deodorant, and a quart of water applied to my head with a comb.” Back in the day, we used to call this move a “Polish shower”. Perhaps Brady also assumed he could get away with it if he stood next to a plastic deparment-store mannequin… No wonder everyone outside of New England hates this guy…