Random n’at

1.  ”I’m pretty sure it hissed at me” is what I said to my husband this morning when I frantically jumped on him in bed to wake him up and beg him to come to the basement to kill a spider as big as a golf ball. And I don’t mean a spider with a teeny tiny BB body and long skinny legs. I mean a spider with enough meat mass that there is currently a big blob of yellow guts on the floor of my basement. A Texas-sized spider. A spider with a big bulbous body and short thick, surprisingly fast legs. A spider that looks like a tarantula and a cricket had weird bug sex.

It oozed. It crunched. It spurted. It screeched. It returned to the Devil from whence it came.

[shudder]

I might have to set fire to my basement.

2. I don’t have any idea why the new Primero Noticias weatherman dresses like an airline pilot, do you?

These are the things you learn in a semi-Spanish-speaking home.

I miss the weathergirl who called it “Ponx-soo-tway-nee.”

3. Dancing with the Celebrities of Pittsburgh was held this past weekend, which allowed me to stumble upon this video that not only shows dance god Bob Pompeani in practice for the event, but also shows Sonni Abatta’s past performance in which she is seriously too hot.

Well, that was a special treat!

I’d like to see a dance off between Bob, Sonni, and probably Big Bob from 96.1. He’d kill that shit.

4. Leadership Pittsburgh’s Pop-Up Pittsburgh project “We Do. (Take Two.)” is a mass vow renewal celebrating Upper Lawrenceville love:

An Upper Lawrenceville Love Story invites Upper Lawrenceville residents, their friends and families, along with other Pittsburgh-area lovebirds, to make a commitment to each other, and this vibrant neighborhood, through a mass vow renewal.

Other cool things:

  • Live music (3-5 p.m.) by Upper Lawrenceville’s own, Slim Forsythe and his New Payday Loners;
  • A collaborative-baking attempt at Pittsburgh’s Largest Cookie Table (there’ll be treats for your furry friends, too!). Help us by bringing a dozen or two of your favorites;
  • A documentary highlighting Upper Lawrenceville will premiere at the event;
  • Family friendly food and drink, fun and games!

They had me at cookie table. Learn more and register at popuppittsburgh.com.

5. Internet, there is a God:

… and he has blessed us with the plentiful, quenching rains of the Flyers’ tears.

6. Those of you out near Robert Morris might enjoy this:

Just Between Friends consignment sale is coming up next weekend (May 18-20) at the RMU Island Sports Dome at Neville Island. Prices are heavily discounted (50-90% off) and a majority of items that don’t sell are donated to Focus on Renewal in McKees Rocks.

I love consignment sales.

7. Always, always, always … when you walk in Downtown Pittsburgh … look up.  You might spy Abe Lincoln!

(h/t Jen)

8. Best use of alliteration in a headline ever?

Did they also pick a peck of pickled peppers? Bravo, Trib.

Now, go shit yourself. 

I’m JUST KIDDING.

Get Depends first.

(h/t Angry Mongo)

9. Burgher Jesse Landis-Eigsti continues to blow my mind with his incredible reviews over at Jesse Reviews the World. Right now, Jesse is reviewing all three episodes of the Star Wars prequel. He has the first two reviews up and they are just phenomenal. A snippet from the review of Episode II:

I just want to have want to play a quick game here with George Lucas called You Might Think…But!

You Might Think that the most romantic place for your leads to fall in love is in a beautiful fairy-land paradise But it actually removes any sense of danger (remember how Natalie is being pursued by assassins? Neither does the movie; that plot point does not reappear) while making your heroes seem like spoiled sophisticates who thought it would be a lark to travel to Thomas Kinkade-land.

You Might Think that having Anakin describing his love in superlatives (“The thought of not being with you…I can’t breathe! I’m haunted by the kiss you should never have given me…you are in my very soul.”) means his love is extra special, But it actually makes him seem like a teen scribbling love notes in his binder he got from Hot Topic. Remember, you can tell a love story with only five words (“I love you!” “I know.”) or no words at all (WALL-E holds EVE’s hand, everyone cries).

You Might Think that comparing Natalie’s smooth skin to sand is really hot But I am not sure why you would think that.

Go read them both. He seriously has George Lucas’ number.

10. After spending a fortune on wine kiosks that laughed in your face and made it harder for you to buy wine, the PLCB (slogan: “We say who. We say when. We say who.”) has spent $100,000 on an iPhone app to make it easier for you to find your alcohol of choice. They either want to stand in your way with their big shield of obsolescence, or give you a boost up on the horse that will speedily deliver you to the sweet nectar of hops.

Is the PLCB the most schizophrenic government entity in all of America?

Phrase your answer in the form of HELLS YEAH!

 





19 Comments

  1. Ben
    May 9, 2012 11:25 am

    Ginny,

    I think what you might have had in your basement was a “Spricket” which are also sometimes called “Camel Crickets”. It is NOT a spider, although it looks like one. The are scary just the same, though.
    Did it look like one of these: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhaphidophoridae ?



  2. Cori Begg
    May 9, 2012 11:29 am

    Thanks for the shout out! Hope you’ll renew your vows or celebrate the Upper Lawrenceville love…cause no one loves this city quite like you. And that’s church!



  3. bucdaddy
    May 9, 2012 11:37 am

    I was always kinda “meh” to Sonni, but … Jesus, Mary & Josephine, them are some legs.

    8. It’s not alliteration but I’m proud of this one, the night a certain long-range-shooting Mountaineer knocked down 26 points and took down the hated Panthers:

    Pittsnogle boggles Pitt



  4. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    May 9, 2012 11:38 am

    Yuck! Can you please post something else so I can get that creepy image out of my mind. So not a fan of spiders or other bugs, except for lady bugs. For some reason, they don’t bother me and I never kill them. I just catch and release outside.



  5. Joe K.
    May 9, 2012 1:05 pm

    The Flyers losing doesn’t make me feel any better, it just makes the Pens performance look that much more pathetic.



  6. Rachel
    May 9, 2012 1:12 pm

    Ha – your spider / spricket story reminds me of the ginormous spider my brother killed in his basement with a 24 can case of Pepsi…. which he never moved from that spot. He moved to a new house a couple months later. I wish I could have seen the new owner’s face when they picked up that pop



  7. Magus Patris
    May 9, 2012 2:44 pm

    I thought the app was $10,000; which I thought was expensive and only slightly outrageous. Then I re-read and added the extra zero. I need to make an app that tells people how to properly pronounce “Pennsylvania” and have the state give me $100k for that.



  8. G-Man
    May 9, 2012 2:50 pm

    Ginny- I am right there with you on the Flyers being put out of the playoffs. And for the 37th consecutive year no less. (Last cup they won was in 1975.) I’m not sure what this says about me but I’ll tell you. As much as I enjoyed Pens winning it all in 2009, the next year the Flyers lost in Game 7 of the finals in OT to Chicago and I enjoyed that almost as much, seeing a cup snatched away from their fans at the last second. It gave me goose bumps. I guess I will burn in hell for having that feeling.



  9. Butcher's Dog
    May 9, 2012 3:05 pm

    Weird Bug Sex would make a great band name. Just sayin’.



  10. Suz
    May 9, 2012 4:47 pm

    Is that Max Talbot on the Flyers bench, far left? I feel just a teeny
    bit bad — for him, only.



    • PA Girl in VA
      May 9, 2012 5:05 pm

      I was going to say that’s not Max because his # is 27, not 7. However, I don’t see a #7 on the Flyers’ roster, so maybe it’s him and the 2 is just missing. Either way, I don’t feel sorry for him one bit. He made his decision to go to another team, so he has to accept his team’s fate just like every other player.



      • Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
        May 9, 2012 6:16 pm

        The stick is obscuring the 2. It is Max.



        • empirechick
          May 10, 2012 10:33 am

          I think it’s #17, Wayne Simmonds. Look at his left shoulder, the first part of that number looks more like a 1 than a 2 to me.



          • Pensgirl
            May 10, 2012 12:42 pm

            I think you’re right. The teensy bit of the nameplate that is visible is consistent with the player being Simmonds. (Never thought I’d participate in a guessing game involving those two!)



  11. Different Brian
    May 9, 2012 5:20 pm

    At first I thought the LCB app was lame but then thought – WOW thats awesome. I can type in something like the jeremiah weed cherry mash bourbon and figure out which store has it, because the coverage seems inconsistent. The wineo’s (I use that affectionately) can find specific bottles they want. This is a pretty good idea.

    100k seems a bit steep though but thinking on a corporate level, with the development, server infrastructure, support, and of course project managers that need to get their cut, factor in government overhead… actually 100k doesnt seem AS horrible.



  12. Sam I Am
    May 9, 2012 8:23 pm

    I do not squish bugs because then you have to deal with a gross squishy mess. I catch and release. I have no messes to clean up, the bug gets to live and we’re both happy. Remember, he is probably more scared of you . . . ha, ha!



  13. Michelle
    May 9, 2012 9:59 pm

    If I saw a spider that size… I would have to move… no questions asked. The spider could have the house :)



  14. Brett
    May 10, 2012 3:06 am

    You know that photo looks like it is a trapdoor spider. We get them here in Australia too, from memory the bite is not very toxic to adults but could make a small child a bit sick.

    And I was so very happy to see the Flyers lose, for two reasons, one the obvious I really really dislike them and the second, my Wife goes for the Devils, although she has a big soft spot for Le-Mrowr :)



  15. Janelle
    May 16, 2012 12:39 pm

    My roommates and I found three centipedes in our house in one night. Three. Two escaped, one of which one roommate described as tall and said, “I could see its knees.” One massive one was slaughtered NEXT TO MY BED with the biggest shoe I could find.

    Two days later I bought a Venus fly trap at Lowe’s just because it said “I EAT BUGS!” real big on the box. I’m not necessarily saying it’s working, but all I know is I haven’t seen one since.




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