Changes.

Good Monday morning, Pittsburgh! Has it been raining for seven hundred years or does it just feel that way?

I blame myself. I bought my kids an outdoor trampoline and we can’t erect it until the rain stops. So the rain won’t stop until probably September. Merry Christmas!

Let’s talk about my blog a little bit because there’s going to be a change in how this blog will work starting today, and it’s important to me that I let you know about it because without you reading over the last seven years, this blog wouldn’t have accomplished the things it has, especially since my identity was revealed.

When I started this site in 2005, I had just turned thirty-one a few months prior. I was a whippersnapper with a little three-year-old son and a full time job. Right now, I’ve got a kid turning ten this fall and another turning six this December. Right now, I’m on the verge of turning thirty-eight in two weeks and forty is right there. Do you see it? Right there? Staring at me? Making its presence known with the grey hairs that grow 3,000 times faster and coarser than regular hairs? Defiant white screaming scraggly tree trunks rising among a field of whispered soft brown smoothness? Those hairs are giant assholes. If it wouldn’t burn my face off, I would kill them with fire.

A lot changes for a woman from the time she’s 31 to the time she’s so close to forty she could reach out and bitchslap that mother and then knee her in the face when she keels over. Priorities change. Personality changes. Life in general changes. My violent nature remains unchanged.

At 31 I was a snarky semi-bitch who would gleefully and anonymously take to my keyboard to tear down anyone in my way who I felt deserved to be torn down with the wrecking ball of my words. I don’t regret that, but that’s not who I am anymore.

Nearing forty, I don’t feel like tearing down anymore for the sake of tearing down. I don’t think I need to be perusing the newspapers daily simply trying to find something to write about. Something ridiculous. Something I can point at and laugh at.

My passion for that has waned dramatically since January and I honestly think I started feeling the subtle shift in me after the earthquake in Haiti. That experience changed me so deep to the core, it’s permanent. Daily posting just for the sake of posting holds no attraction for me. It’s a burden now whereas it used to be a joyous addiction, and I promised myself that when I was half-assing this thing, I would walk away.

But I’m not walking away. Not completely. What I’m saying is that I’m not going to post for the sake of posting anymore. I’m only going to post when I am driven to. When hilarity has ensued. When the story can’t be ignored. When something is threatening to explode out of my brain if I don’t unleash it. When Lukey does something so extraordinary or extraordinarily stupid. When my mother calls me to ask me what an “apple cloud” is. When the Pirates play a particularly thrilling game. When Ben and Coach Haley get into a screaming match on the sidelines (you know it’s coming).

That might be once every other day. That might be once a week.

My efforts on this site have been abysmal at best since January and you can tell and you deserve better. The great thing about the evolution of social media since I started in 2005 at the cusp of the boom is that there are now so many places for you to get the fun news on an hourly basis. You have Randy’s awesome Facebook page and Twitter account, and Mikey and Big Bob‘s as well. They’re paid to do that and they do it fast and timely, whereas I have three jobs besides writing for this site, four if you count being a stay-at-home mom. I’m spread thinner than the paint on a Bob Ross happy little tree. And who gives a crap what I think about something that happened two days ago and that I’m just now getting around to writing about? I certainly don’t. You shouldn’t either.

So I’m not going to do that anymore. I’m not going to give you the worst mediocrity of me 10 to 15 times a week. I’m going to give you the best of me maybe once or twice a week.

And we’ll see how that goes. Where it take us. I’ve evolved since I was 31. It’s time for this site to evolve too.

I hope you understand. I’m still me. I’m still here. I’m still driving the bandwagon. I still want to kill all the pigeons. I’m still passionately in love with Pittsburgh and it’s that love the motivates me to be more and be better and to grow and change and see where the road leads.

I hope you’ll come along for the ride.

P.S. I’m going to close the comments on this for a few reasons. First, because if your response is going to be “PLEASE, DON’T!” it won’t change my mind. If your response is going to be, “You’re awesome and I support you and you’re awesome and you rock and you’re awesome,” I thank you for that, but my ego isn’t looking for that. That’s not why I’m doing this — so I can read nice things about myself. And finally, if your response is going to be, “Yeah, you’ve kinda sucked since January and even before that,” I already know that, thank you.

We don’t need to discuss how awesome I am or how much I suck. We can just let things be, John Lennon.





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