The night I ninja-jumped Sulu

Last Friday night was one of those nights you think back on even a few years later and say, “That night was perfect.”

Perfect friends. Perfect experience. Perfect weather. Perfect beer.

Perfection.

It started with me draining the battery on my husband’s new used Mazda CX-7, which I drove around the entire day not realizing I never actually turned the car completely off. It has one of those newfangled gosh-darn tootin’ keyless starter thingamajiggies and how was I to know that the reason the navigation wasn’t turning off after I shut the car off and the reason the car was beeping and hooting and hollerin’ at me every time I walked away from it was because I had to turn the keyless non-key thingamajiggie even further back than I was?

Technology can kiss my grits so hard.

Having to wait for a jump from my brother-in-law Muchacho put me behind schedule fifteen minutes to meet my friends for the game.

No matter. I didn’t let it phase me.

I met up with besties Mike Woycheck AKA The Butler AKA Woy and Jonathan Wander to enjoy the Buccos taking on the Tigers at beautiful PNC Park.

We drank beer. We ate Crab Fries AKA Crack in a Cup with a side of Liquid Crack in a Littler Cup. We laughed as Rod Barajas slid into home where “slid” means “plopped.” It registered 1.5 on the Richter Scale.

The Buccos won.

Perfection.

After the game Mike and I bid farewell to Jonathan at the end of the Roberto Clemente bridge and then the two of us continued on. On past the Byham. On past the Renaissance. On past Bally’s, we walked. Chatting and laughing and wait.

Wait.

I made eye contact with a man — a wee man of Asian descent as he and another man rushed past us in the opposite direction. They held playbills in their hands. For that split second that we made eye contact, it registered in his eyes that I recognized him and also because I said, “Waaaaaaaait. Is that..?” just as he passed by.

I grabbed Woy’s arm, my eyes as big as your grandma’s pierogies and for a second we simply spoke telepathically via mindmeld.

Then Woy, once a huge Star Trek fan, said breathlessly, “Was that … George Takei?”

“It was.”

We stood motionless, staring at each other for one long moment and then I said, “Mike! GO!”

We were off, chasing George Takei down like snarling dogs after a Snausage-covered cat.

We dodged the oncoming onslaught of foot traffic like the Starship Enterprise avoiding an asteroid storm.

We jumped this way and hopped that way, spun out of the way of a garbage can, possibly hurdled a flower cart — I can’t be sure. We were Riggs and Murtaugh getting closer and closer to our perp until finally he was right in front of me and had made the terrible mistake of slowing his pace down just one tiny bit.

That was all I needed.

Have you ever waited around the corner to scare someone and you leap out from behind the wall, land in front of them while ever so slightly hunched over, your hands held up like the claws of an angry bear? As Woy is my witness, that’s what I did to George Takei. I leaped in front of him from behind, spinning 180 degrees while in air, landed directly in his path like a lethal ninja and said, “Hi! Can I PLEASE PLEASE get a picture? [SCARY DESPERATE TEETHY SMILE]”

And he smiled widely and said, “Sure!”

Woy snapped the photo and then George continued on his way probably all, “Red alert! Batshit crazy yinzer-ninja!”

Whatever. I’m a delight.

P.S. You too might spot George in town. He’s here in the New Hollywood filming a Nickelodeon series called Supah Ninjas. I can’t believe he didn’t just cast me on the spot. [awkward kung fu moves]





22 Comments

  1. mfj
    June 27, 2012 10:14 pm

    He looks terrified. Last time he looked that scared was when the Zorbo bats of Zebulon V got into the warp drive.



  2. Ginny's Dad
    June 27, 2012 10:43 pm

    Am I the only person in the universe that never watched an entire episode of Star Trek (maybe 5 minutes at the most)? And wouldn’t know George from Leroy Nimrod (the guy with big ears). But I know all the characters on “Storage Wars”. I guess I am just too boring.



  3. LuAnn
    June 27, 2012 10:58 pm

    LOL! I can really picture your moves… and I might have done the same as I am a huge fan.

    BTW – in case someone out there is interested, George has the most hilarious Facebook page. He’s on Pinterest too!



    • Trish
      June 29, 2012 7:02 pm

      George Takei is the man and I’m not even a “Star Trek” fan. His Facebook page is awesome.



  4. Magus Patris
    June 27, 2012 11:04 pm

    I think George is saying, “Oh, my!”



  5. Jonathan
    June 28, 2012 12:33 am

    When I got to my car, checked Twitter, and saw that you and Mike met George Takei I went searching for my first aid kit of a noose and bath salts. Why didn’t I keep walking with you guys?! But it was an absolutely amazing night. Oh my!



  6. Woy
    June 28, 2012 7:02 am

    Remember Jeannie Bueller jumping in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?

    THAT.



  7. steelertom
    June 28, 2012 8:05 am

    Great photo, woulda been better if it wasn’t for the idiot over George’s left shoulder who looks like he jumped in the photo. LOL (It’s not me!)



  8. Jim W.
    June 28, 2012 8:34 am

    balloon knot!

    Takei always strikes me as looking vaguely. . . creepy. But he posts spectacular pinterest boards.



  9. bucdaddy
    June 28, 2012 11:19 am

    George should have been jumping in front of you.

    You are one hellattractive lady.



  10. empirechick
    June 28, 2012 11:40 am

    WARNING: Liquid Crack in a Littler Cup is scaldingly hot.

    It doesn’t seem like it when you dip the Crack Fries, but when it spills on your carry tray, runs through the open cup holder slot, and lands on your wrist, you will receive an instantly blistered crazy painful 2nd degree burn. Speaking from experience, May 4, 2012.

    Also, Chickie & Pete’s is a Philly franchise – what the hell is it doing in PNC Park??



    • bucdaddy
      June 28, 2012 12:04 pm

      I could ask the same about Budweiser, a St. Louis beer whose parent name is on the St. Louis ballpark, or about Miller, a Milwaukee beer whose parent name is on the Milwaukee ballpark, and can you get a Coors at PNC? Colorado/ballpark.

      The kicker is, none of those companies — A-B, Miller or Coors — is even American-owned. A-B is run by a Belgian company, Miller by South Africa and Coors by Canada. So even if you don’t care about the ramifications of giving aid and comfort to the enemy, at least consider drinking a wholly American beer, or even a delicious Pennsylvania beer, such as Yuengling, or better still, a Pittsburgh beer. Penn products are there, and in the HoF Club you can usually find Scott Smith’s East End beers.

      Ah, but they wouldn’t be as bland and tasteless as the Big Three’s offerings. But if that’s what you want, they sell water by the bottle too, for somewhat less.



  11. Chris Travers
    June 28, 2012 2:08 pm

    Mr. Zulu might be all about warp drive, but on that evening he really admired your impulse power.



    • Chris Travers
      June 28, 2012 2:27 pm

      Just noticed I had a moment of brain vapor-lock and entered my real name. Prior to this hiccup I posted comments as “Pa-pop.”



  12. Noelle
    June 28, 2012 5:37 pm

    Shot in the dark: Did anyone see the guy wearing lederhosen this morning at the PPG fountain plaza? I have to know what this is about.



    • Amy
      June 29, 2012 9:07 pm

      Pittsburgh will have downtown’s first-ever European holiday market in Market Square – to open Nov. 24th – picture Christkindlmarkt in Pittsburgh



  13. bluzdude
    June 29, 2012 8:43 am

    I like how yinz got the bridge and the Park in the background… I assume to counteract the guy in the yellow cap.



  14. red pen mama
    June 29, 2012 10:45 am

    Well done, Ginny. Well done.



  15. bucdaddy
    June 29, 2012 11:53 am

    Thought balloon on Guy in Background:

    “Cop a feel, old man. I sure would.”



  16. John
    June 29, 2012 2:37 pm

    yes, Virginia, you ARE a delight!!!