Two things to read. Or as we say in Spanish. Dos thingos de leyendo. I think.
1. This story I wrote for Pittsburgh Magazine is completely true. It is truthy true. Churchy true.
I don’t talk about my kids very much on this blog because that’s what Facebook is for. That and ducky-lipped bathroom pics. I’m kidding. I have never taken a ducky-lipped bathroom pic of myself. If I ever do, you can bet your bottom dollar there’s a man behind the shower curtain training a gun on my noggin.
I froze. It was the angry scream of my 2-year-old daughter, who normally followed such noise with a temper tantrum. There was no telling what had upset her — it literally could’ve been anything.
I rushed to intervene, grabbing her from the floor and marching with her through the restaurant while she squirmed and wailed as if I were kidnapping her from the park. We blew past Sally Wiggin, Franco and his wife, and the mayor and his posse. On I rushed, looking like a farmer trying desperately to get a grip on a shrieking, muddy piglet.
2. Did you guys hear that David Shribman, the big enchilada over at the Post-Gazette, sent an email to staff making them aware that he is banning the word “jagoff” from the print edition, the online edition, and even the newsroom?
As you might imagine, I have something to say about that and it goes like … this.
I think where Mr. Shribman goes off-course is his focus on the fact that jagoff rhymes with well … you know. Which is what he is hinting at when he writes, “I know it doesn’t mean what some people think it means.” But to ban the word simply because it rhymes with a less-than-savory PG-13 expletive doesn’t make sense, unless he also plans to ban the words suck or sass.
Here in Pittsburgh, we don’t have thorn bushes; we have jaggerbushes. From the time we are children we are told to watch out for the jaggerbushes in them there woods, as Pittsburgh Dad is my witness.
I didn’t hear the word thorn until Poison came out with their power ballad “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” and even then I thought “Every Rose Has Its Jagger” would have worked just as well.
Because that’s just how I roll.