Pirates doing gud now. But don’t reinvent history. It’s a fair-weather baseball town. No better. Front-running bandwagon jumpers.
— Mark Madden (@MarkMaddenX) July 6, 2012
Oh, Mark Madden. That you would just bite me. So hard.
Once again, as happened last year, the Pirates are doing good, really good, so good they’re ten games over .500 ball and in first place by two whole games, and as also happened last year, the bandwagon talk has begun.
Not the bandwagon talk that I do, which is the positive bandwagon talk i.e. ALL ABOARD YOU MOTHERS! GET ON THIS BANDWAGON WHILE THE WINNING IS STILL HOT, THE MARGARITAS ARE STILL COLD, THE ATMOSPHERE IS STILL PARTY ROCK AND THE BEWBS ARE STILL PERKY AND BUXOM.
Because as has been the case every single year, by late summer the winning is gone, the margaritas are soupy, the atmosphere is funeral-wakey and the bewbs are saggy, coin-filled tube socks.
Now mind you, I am not talking about the Pens bandwagon or the Steelers bandwagon or the bandwagon where people hop off all “LATER, LOSERS! YOU HAVE SAGGY BEWBS!” as soon as a team loses two in a row. I am talking about the Bucco bandwagon onto which tired, losing-weary, beat-up, long-dejected fans hop aboard years after they jumped off unable to take the losing anymore. Unable to justify spending money, time, tears, and hopes on a team that never ever repaid the sacrifice in two whole DECADES. Unable to support a management they saw running a once glorious team into the ground. Unable to stomach loss after loss. Unable to lather up enough desire to take their kids to the ballpark to spend $100 just to watch a depressing shell of a baseball team that was on the receiving end of quite serious “just get out of the majors” talk. Unable to care after player upon player with talent was traded away for stale Cracker Jacks and two cases of flat pop. Jason Bay. Freddy Sanchez. Jason Kendall. Adam LaRoche. Jack Wilson.
I have said this before and it obviously needs to be repeated: I will pat you on the back for sticking with the Pirates through thick and thin, for watching the same number of games every year regardless of the record, for attending the same number of games every year regardless of the record, for buying the same number of dollars worth of merchandise every year regardless of the record, for tweeting and blogging and facebooking the same amount of Pirates-related updates regardless of the record — but I will also put forth that the number of fans that can actually say they have done all of those things is quite small.
Wanting to support winners is HUMAN. Do you get that? I don’t think you can judge a person for walking away from the Pirates any more than you can judge a person for refusing to go see a band in concert once that band starts putting out shitty records. Sure there are some groupies who are going to still go to every concert, buy every CD and t-shirt, update the fan site every day, etc., but for the most part, it is HUMAN to want to support a good product and when the product stinks, it is human nature to walk away and say, “I can’t support that anymore. I just won’t. Show me a better product and I’ll be your customer again.”
That’s what is happening. Economics. The product is getting better. Fans can justify spending their dollars and time on the team again and my bandwagon is absolutely bursting at the seams with fresh blood and big bewbs and lusty wenches and drunk pirates and I would not have it any other way. It’s more fun this way. We’re a bigger family throwing bigger parties and making a bigger noise.
Now, you diehards, and I don’t know that I can call myself a diehard because I truly jumped back on the bandwagon with both feet only five years ago, I get that it kinda sucks that it’s harder to get tickets now, but would you rather be sitting in a quiet stadium scattered with fans, or a stadium packed to the top with cheering fans and hoisted brooms and flying Jolly Rogers and awkward zoltans?
And then ask yourself this. Which do you think the PIRATES would prefer? A stadium scattered with only the diehards or a stadium absolutely crushed with fans who have come to appreciate the good product?
We ARE family and this family has been put through the wringer for two decades and maybe this is the year we finally reconcile and be a real family again. So please, take this pat on the back if you never wavered in your love of the team, but put the bandwagon talk away unless you’re saying “all aboard.”
Who knows. Maybe this is the year I don’t light that sucker afire and roll it into the Mon.
Let’s go Bucs!