Monthly Archives: January 2013
The Bomb Squad has been called to Regent Square after a suspicious package was discovered Thursday morning.
According to officials at the scene, a backpack was found outside of an apartment building near the intersection of Forbes Avenue and Flotilla Street.
As it turns out, the backpack belonged to a student and was filled with books.
One of these days I’m going to leave a giant bag of donuts in the middle of Market Square. Then I’m going to wait for the bomb squad to show up to blow the bag up.
And right after they do, I’ll jump out and shout, “I just made it RAIN DONUTS! [throws signs]”
How much jail time do you think I’ll do?
1. Fourth grade math. What a bitch it is.
Thing I said yesterday to my husband: “Can you come help him with his homework? I don’t understand it.” Then I poured some wine.
2. Blood Brother, the documentary about Rocky Braat, the AIP grad and Burgher who moved to India on a whim to care for HIV positive children won the audience choice for best documentary at Sundance. That is a big deal. A very big deal.
3. I’ll be writing more about this soon, but CAKE!
Not errybody likes onions, but ERRYBODY LOVES CAKE!
And I was asked to be a guest judge for CAKEitecture, a contest of the Carnegie Museum of Art for the 20th anniversary of the Heinz Architectural Center. The contest will pair five architecture/design firms with five local bakeries to create amazing cakes.
The event in FREE and I have no idea if I’ll actually get to eat any cake, but if you ask me to take part in an event and you include any of the following words or phrases … cake, cookies, David Conrad, Zima, pigeon torture, Nutella … I will say yes.
4. An honest Pittsburgh winter weather map.
5. A Pittsburgh Steelers LEGO car for charity that will BLOW YOUR MIND.
6. Lukey sent a letter and forgot to have it proofed.
Click for embiggen. Dear Lukey, embiggen is NOT a word. Don’t even THINK about using it in your next letter all, “I’m thrilled with the embiggening of donations to my campaign…”
Near the end of the one-hour session, moderator Chris Zurawsky asked the tactical question that has hung over the early stages of this competition — whether it made sense for two candidates to be competing for anti-incumbent votes.
A smiling Mr. Ravenstahl said he’d be happy to defer to his challengers on that one.
He knows. HE KNOWS he wins a split vote.
8. You think you know what Jamie and Ali went through in the immediate aftermath of the earthquake, but you have no idea:
I felt like I was gasping for every breath, and Jamie remained incredibly calm, driving through narrow spaces, past people missing limbs, one woman missing her face, but screaming for help. A woman banged on our window asking for help, holding a baby in her other hand that had just been born, still connected by the umbilical cord.
9. Can’t remember if I told you to go read my review of Flashdance. If you saw it, let me know if you agree or disagree with my thoughts.
10. Official Smokin’ Hot Burghers Gina Cerilli and Elena LaQuatra served as MTV Made coaches to help a Point Park tomboy become a pageant queen and it is awesome.
You only have to wait until like a minute in before the word jagoff is uttered and 15 minutes in before you hear a “yinz.” They seriously had their work cut out for them.
Also, “They’re making me wear bras. Which is stupid. Why would you be uncomfortable when you don’t have to be?”
Preach it, sister. [adjusts the piercing underwire of her bra]
Last night. My daughter’s bedroom.
Her: I got this from my teacher’s library. Can you read it to me?
Me, aloud: Uh. Sure.
Me, internally: SON OF A MOTHERLESS HAIRLESS FATHERLESS LEGLESS ASSHOLE GOAT.
Three minutes later.
Me: The end. So as you can see, the moral of the story is that pigeons shouldn’t drive buses because they are the very incarnation of evil.
Me: Night night. [kisses her on her head and turns her light out]
Her: I wish I had a pet pigeon.
Hey. Are you an animal lover who gave birth to a half-Mexican girl in December of 2006?
I think I might have your daughter.
Because this one ain’t mine.
1. I’ve been running. And not from monsters or falling buildings or rampaging howler monkeys or any of the other things that I’ve previously said would be the only motivators that could ever get me to put any kind of urgency into my gait.
I’ve been running because I’ll be forty in 2014 and excuse me while I go scream-cry in the shower over that.
But when I turn 40, I want to be in the best shape of my life — not just pear-shaped.
So I’ve been running. And I’ve been running in the cold weather. At night sometimes. All through my neighborhood. Three days a week. And I love it and I don’t even know who I am anymore.
My goal is to be able to run three straight miles without looking like a newly born crack-baby-giraffe.
Wish me luck and no whammies.
2. Pittsburgh has the nation’s highest percentage of homeowners who outright own their homes.
I don’t honestly know what that means, but it felt right.
Man, I love Jessie Landis-Eigsti and not just because he has a super cool name.
4. The diocese said it would accept a $300,000 offer from the URA for St. Nick’s but then changed its mind and now St. Nick’s, and all of its glorious history … is gone.
Something smells rotten in the state of Denmark.
5. One of the most detailed posts ever on how to make good old fashioned Burghy pierogi without those newfangled “pierogi cutters,” if that is your real name.
Put a babushka on and get to cooking!
6. That’s right. I just hashtagged a blog post.
7. And we have a third contender in the Pittsburgh mayoral race in Michael Lamb, and you know the math.
Lukey vs. Peduto = Likely Peduto win
Lukey vs. Peduto vs. Lamb = Split vote, Ravenstahl win
Get used to Hizzoner Master Snoop Ravey Rave.
8. The Wall Street Journal’s house of the day is in Pittsburgh and IT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND. I am stunned.
Mark Frankovitch for mayor!
Anyone know who Mark Frankovitch is?
9. If you’re looking for something to do before the Pens game next Wednesday, then you can join me at AVA Lounge for a social media Power Hour from Get Involved!Inc. I’ll be on a casual panel to talk about social media and then I’ll be heading over to the Pens game to lose my shit over hockey.
10. I’ll also be at this event, Haitian Families First Back to School Party at Bricolage on January 31 featuring the Standard Band.
RAISING ALL THE DOLLARS!
11. Pennsylvania Style.
12. Pittsburgh Dad has a commercial and it’s not just a commercial, it’s a 1980s style commercial complete with hilarious modem noises, jabs at their own laugh track, and just general awesomeness.
I have but one question.
HOW DOES CHRIS PREKSTA DO THAT WITH HIS EYES?!?!
13. Awesome tweets:
just very briefly learned about border zone ischemia in class and all I can think about is what a great band name that would make @janepitt
— Ali Lewandowski (@alilewandowski) January 15, 2013
@janepitt Great. Now people are going to start giving directions based on “where the Exposition Building used to be.”
— Kim Z Dale (@observacious) January 15, 2013
Thinking of selling starter looms to hipsters.
— Mike Woycheck (@woy) January 13, 2013
Todd Haley Interviewing for Cardinals job! But not for a while, because Redman Dwyer Mendenhall & Rainey will take turns driving him to AZ.
— RandyBaumann WDVE (@DVERandy) January 3, 2013
You’ll never guess what once stood at the Point over 100 years ago. You will never guess. Read until the very end to have your mind blown.
Let me explain.
No, is too much.
Let me sum up and then we’ll go storm the castle, Inigo.
A long time ago, reader Chris sent me a link to a Google Maps-like version of an old Pittsburgh map. He sent me the link last April, and I finally found time today to click on the link after flagging it as important almost one year ago.
That’s right. It is currently taking me almost a year to get to “important” things. I’m going to write a book about time management and prioritizing and it will be called Time Management and Prioritizing: What Not to Do and When Not to Do It.
It will be a best-seller and not just because I will put pictures of boobs in it.
Anyway! So I was deep inside of the old Pittsburgh map, sort of virtually walking the old streets of Pittsburgh when I happened near the Point where I was having fun punting 100-year-old pigeons, and I saw something called the Exposition Building.
Right on the Allegheny River.
I knew instantly I needed to hunt down some old photos of the Exposition Building. What went on there? Who went there? What was it like? Have we invented TIME TRAVEL YET?
So the first thing I found was this 1900 photo of a slum near the Point, with the Exposition Building in the background (click for embiggens):
I see you there.
I love how well-dressed they are, even in a slum.
Here’s another view, looking across the Allegheny from the North Side with Mt. Washington in the distance, if I’ve got my bearings right, and let’s be honest, I might not. I lose my bearings after I make two turns. I have a two-turn bearings-maintaining limit. It’s a thing.
Here we are in 1916, workers building the Point Bridge, or maybe that’s the Union Bridge. Damn it. I lost my bearings and I didn’t even make a turn. New record.
Anyway, the Exposition Building is in the background:
This picture gives you a REAL good look at where it was located. Mt. Washington in the background, Point Bridge on the left, and Manchester Bridge on the right.
And then I saw this and my mind went KABLOOEY! Now, you’re standing on Mt. Washington, and that’s the Manchester Bridge, with the Exposition Building to the right and do you see that? Look closer.
Here’s a look in a 1905 picture:
That is a roller coaster at the Point!
A roller coaster!
AT THE POINT!
How much do you love that?!
As much as me?!
Do you want to hug?!
As far as I can tell, it would have been right about … here:
How cool is that?
You can read more about the Exposition building here, and learn how it nurtured the growing popularity of hockey in Pittsburgh. There was also a merry-go-round, ice skating rink, music hall and lots lots more.
So that’s my big discovery — summed up. Maybe you already knew? But I didn’t so I had to share it with you.
I tell you one thing, if they do invent time travel, there is no way in HELL I’m ever getting on a roller coaster in 1905 because I imagine it is would be held together with spit, soot, and hope.
Now. Let’s go storm the castle.
Also, Spit Soot and Hope would be a kickass band name.