1. Whew. What a crazy month December was. But what an amazing month and a busy month. My sisters all came home for the holidays and that meant lots of laughter and drinking and pudding shots, all before 11:00 a.m. most days.
We also crafted because Ta-Ta and Princess Aurora LOVE to craft. The only thing they love more than crafting is drunk crafting. So each Christmas they come up with a new craft to do together and this year they forced us all to take part in their little glue gun club.
Here’s what we made, and I have to admit, it was a blast:
Scrabble tile epoxy sticker necklace thingies! I’m sure that’s what they’re called.
You’ll never guess which one of those is mine.
Hint, it rhymes with Bombie Talvin.
2. Here’s our Christmas card, built by my son and I:
You’ll notice my wine glass is empty. Someone should rectify that.
Don’t worry, we’re going to the doctor soon to see about that bizarre thing growing out of my husband’s head.
3. New Year’s Eve brought my first ever taste of the Prantl’s New Year’s Good Luck “pretzel” wherein “pretzel” stands for delicious, iced, rolled, cinnamon-y pastry.
I have never tasted anything so amazing. And I ate so much of it that I’m pretty much guaranteed the luckiest year EVER.
Also, the jiggly-cottage-cheesiest winter butt ever.
Which will gave way to my slightly-less-jiggly-cottage-cheese Spring butt.
Which will give way to my “Oh, who are you kidding. Cookies are delicious.” summer butt.
4. Also over Christmas break, the Dread Lord Zober LOST HIS SHIT.
I mean, he lost it.
First go read the article about Lukey being very quiet about his new home, which, I don’t honestly see any problem with. It’s his personal life. It’s his home. Let it be.
But then read this:
And nine people actually liked a comment from the Dread Lord Zober for digging into the personal life of a constituent who dared badmouth Snoop Lukey Luke.
If that’s all it takes, they must have a file ten-inches thick on me, with a big stamp on it that reads, “TO BE DESTROYED.”
Anyway. Shit. Lost.
5. Also over Christmas break, the Steelers lost and lost and lost and sucked and sucked and didn’t even make the playoffs because of a lot of reasons and one of those reasons is that Ben seems to throw interceptions at just the WORST POSSIBLE TIMES.
Never in the first quarter.
Always in the fourth quarter with the clock expiring and the game and playoffs on the line.
But I’m not bitter.
[punts a pigeon that resembles Ben into the Mon]
All I want them to find is an entire reel of footage showing off his throwing arm. Srsly. Because you get a little glimpse of that heaven at :40 in.
Right field to home plate. Boom.
7. A woman made the news for buying a bogus Steelers jersey from a Chinese website.
I should have called WTAE when my husband purchased this completely legit Merril HOGE jersey.
Nothing suspicious about that at all.
I practically forget what it looks like.
10. Shopping cart rage is a thing … in Fayette County.
And ONLY in Fayette County.
11. A local five-year-old girl held a fundraiser for an animal shelter and managed to score $1,500 in donations!
When I was five I was busy eating all the cookies.
12. It’s time to start getting excited for the Buccos of Suckitude and that means SQUEEEEE! at their newly unveiled alternate uniforms.
THIS IS THE YEAR!